Tuesday, May 20, 2014

I have been feeling a bit blue today.
There was a group gathering/meeting with the suppliers today, but I participated like a zombie.
It was very hard for me.
I was in my super blur mode.
The type that could really piss people off.
Thank goodness I didn't get into trouble.
What was the trigger?

Yesterday, L broke down.
REALLY broke down.
My colleague who was with her during an in-house staff development training came back to the office during lunch and told me the news.
"She was walking in and out of the room, behaving quite rudely towards the coordinator /trainer. Then, all of a sudden she started sobbing and stormed out of the room.
She ran to the toilet and locked herself in the cubicle. She started yelling and cursing.
It's scary!"
I rushed to the scene and found that she was still in the cubicle cursing, yelling and crying.
My colleague did not exaggerate.
It was indeed scary.
I felt like I was back in the psychiatric ward years ago.
A few well-meaning colleagues (myself including) waited outside for her.
Her sister was on the way and all of us thought it'd be best if we kept watch.
When her sis arrive, the sis call out to her gently , in Cantonese,
"芳女 (her childhood name).... What's wrong... come out, we'll talk about it..."

More than 24 hours have past since I heard that.
But the feeling remained.
I may not like her. 
We may never be friends.
She may never fully recover from this mental illness.

But,
How could I not empathize?
Her situation could have well been mine.

I will never forget how her sister had endearingly called out to her, that she was once little 芳女.
Bear in mind, she was once a child - worthy of love, adoration and protection,
not unlike how the rest of us were.

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