Thursday, June 29, 2006

The right to have haunting memories

There was a series on late Sunday which raised an interesting issue.

The setting of the series was in year 2030, and technology is constantly challenged by emotional/ethical issues.

There was a case where the father wish to erase the dark memory of his traumatised little boy.

The mother, the abuser, the cause of trauma to the little boy objected; with the argument to the right of the mere MEMORY of her, good or bad.

In the end, the father won the court case.
The lawyer who won the case for him had mixed feelings.
She questioned herself, her own dark memories.
Without it, would she be who she is today?
Would she have been better, or worse?

Indeed, an excellent question to ponder upon.....

Monday, June 26, 2006

She Wrote back

I wrote this back in March.
The writer of the book I had reviewed responded to the comment my friend had left in my post.

Please read...
Cendolicly Yours: Seek first to understand

Sunday, June 25, 2006

Learn the lesson

I typed this months ago.

Now, I'd just want to add that
'you learn best when the lessons are unexpectedly taught'.
A colleague sensed my frustration and disappointment with my uni.
When I asked, "what can you learn from uni where you can't learn from books, or real life experience?"
She gave the question some thought. "Hmm, that's interesting. Do you ask yourself that question each time you are in a different environment? I mean, each phase or experience in our lives has its purpose and meaning. How do you weigh and compare them?''
I've asked the above question several times.
I must admit, this is the best answer I've received.

Friday, June 23, 2006


I saw an ex-colleague.
She looked very different.
So different that I wondered if I still know her.

# # # #

Dr M just stood up and walked to the restroom.
I whispered to the stranger seated next to me, "So, he doesn't need a bodyguard now?"
He whispered back, "Nah...My son tells me that he's always seen hanging out at Starbucks in MidValley"

Ah... things we never knew...

Thursday, June 22, 2006


Perdana for Peace forum.
Had the utmost great fortune to dine with two Iraqi men.

One of the gentlemen told me that the media had portrayed Saddam as a monster. But he reminded me that no leader is perfect and that we must not forget his contribution to Iraq.

Learnt three interesting fact.
  1. Iraq was the first Third World country in the 80s to achieve 100% literacy rate.
  2. Iraqis had free education from the age of 6 till PhD level. The Iraqi told me that his father only needed to give him money for snacks. He also reminisce the clean water he could drink straight from the tap in school.
  3. Iraqis had loads of intellectuals back in the 80s.
  4. Iraqi was united under Saddam's rule.

I asked him another question, he laughed.
He shared with the whole table.
“This young lady asked a very innocent question. She asked where do we Iraqis run to when the bombs come. Where else can we go? Just run home and pray the bombs don’t reach you.”

Actually, I wanted to know where do most Iraqi refugees go (country), but nah… that’s a good answer.

Ah… that nice gentleman loved our otak-otak. Funny, it wasn’t spicy at all. Considering the way it was served, I thought it was a localized version of lasagna.

# # # # # #

During the entire forum, everyone ,both the panel speakers and audience, admitted the fact that something is very wrong with the entire global governance.
I almost wanted to voice this question,

“There are men and women who possess intelligence, conscience and courage. But obviously they are not governing the world. Why? Where are they?”

The stupidest questions are the questions not asked.

I'm wrong

I was playing with a few veteran badminton players.
They were giving me a few tips on how to improve my game.
Suddenly, my friend laughed.
"Aiyo, you are gripping your racquet wrongly!!"

Other veteran players observed and unanimously agreed/were amused I didn't even get the basics right.

My veteran badminton player-friends told me that once I have managed to grip my racquet correctly, my shots will dramatically improve.
I was thinking.
I've been holding my racquet this way for years.
Nobody ever told me that there was the way to hold the racquet.

I got scared. What I had believed to be true was actually blatantly WRONG.
I fear for more discoveries...

Tuesday, June 20, 2006


high-strung (hī'strŭng')adj.
Tending to be very nervous and easily excited.
exceptionally nervous; easily upset; usually tense.
Example a high-strung horse. Synonyms
excitable , touchy (1) , tense1 (2) , nervous (2) , uptight (1) , skittish (1)
Crossref. Syn.temperamental
Similar Words temperamental , restless , hyperactive , edgy , snappish
Related Words overwrought , emotional

I have found a new word to describe myself.
I always seem to ask questions that don't make people feel comfortable.

I was at the MRC monthly meeting.
The speaker commented that most Malaysian books are mediocre, only a handful are exceptionally good.

During Q+A, I asked, "Is that a reflection of the Malaysian society as a whole, OR the Malaysian literacy state , OR the Malaysian publishing business?"

Cynical+Nervous laugh from both audience and speakers...
and no answer...

Sunday, June 18, 2006


Hey, I'm feeling a bit blue lar.
Have you been reading my blog for some time now?
Could you kindly write TO me?
I need some response.
I hardly get any comments/feedbacks...
That can only mean TWO things...
  1. You hate my writing very much (but why you still read; that's the 8th blog-wonder of the world)
  2. You like my writing but just simply DON't know what to write.

Presuming that you are category 2, DO DO PLEASE PLEASE write and tell me about yourself ... etc...

It'd mean a lot to me, Thanks.

We 'participated'..

We were really late.
At 7.40am we reached the junction of the stadium.
Runners were returning from the run.
It was so embarrassing to react to curious panting participants whose face displayed this question, "what are these two ladies who are wearing the same shirt as us doing in the car?"

My sis was utterly embarrassed and suggested that we should just turn back and go home.

"But we are already here. Aiya, at least take a few cups of free MILO lar... also, we can claim that we were here , wat..."

We reached the parking lot. My sis suggested that we should sprinkle some water on our face to appear 'participated'.

We had Yakult yogurt drink, 100plus, Milo, instant noodle and some cereal before heading to the nearest mamak restaurant for a COMPLETE Malaysian breakfast, where we once again proudly display our T-shirt. - claiming our disputable status as a participant.

Ah, what a 'healthy' Sunday morning. Sis is now reconciling with the bed.

I'm reading my free copy of TheStar newspaper.

We should do this more often. =P

Thursday, June 15, 2006

Bitter Better

I didn't realised I hate this place SO much.
The anger itself frightens me.
I can relate the movie Capote when he was asked by Harper Lee,
"Do you miss this place?"
"Not at all"- with a snicker.
It's true, bitter people tend to be better artists/performers/writers.
I hope this rule applies to me as well.

The Final Episode

the bottom pic-message is to the person who hurt me the most, NOT to him. The upper one, YES.


Scene 1
Friend A: Wah... you read a lot, hor?
Me: Not really. I just read more compared to an average Malaysian. I mean, it's just a habit not inculcated among us. Look at us at waiting rooms or in public places. We tend to just sit and stare blankly while having various reading materials lying on the table, on their laps or in their bags. It just doesn't occur to them to appreciate the reading opportunity that is available to them.
Friend: [????].... Oh....

Scene 2
Friend B: Is French hard to learn?
Me: Well, language represents culture. So, you're asking about whether it's hard to grasp certain cultures. Culture, being so subjective and prone to changes; it's really hard to place a grading system.
If a French or a Korean were to ask you, ''is English hard to learn?'' How would you answer?
Friend B: [????}... Oh...

From now onwards, I shall standardized my answers to...
"Yeah..." -- while I still have friends...

Tuesday, June 13, 2006

Kofi's view on WorldCup

This is so good that I just have to retype it from The Star newspaper dated, 11.6.06. These are excerpts from Secretary –General of the United Nations, Kofi A. Annan.

You may wonder what a secretary-general of the United Nations is doing writing about football. But in fact, the World Cup makes us at the United Nations green with envy.
You could even say it’s more universal. FIFA has 207 members; we have only 191.But here are far better reasons to be envious.
First, the World Cup is an event in which everybody knows where their teams stands, and what it did to get there. They know who scored and how and in what minute of the game; they know who missed the open goal; they know who saved the penalty.
I wish we had more of that sort of competition in the family of nations. Countries openly vying for the best standing in the table of respect for human rights, and trying to outdo one another in child survival rates or enrolment in secondary education.
States parading their performance for all the world to see. Governments being held accountable for what actions led them to that result.
Second, the World Cup is an event that everybody on the planet loves talking about, dissecting what their team did right, and what it could have done differently.
People sitting in cafes anywhere from Buenos Aires to Beijing debate the finer points of games endlessly, revealing an intimate knowledge not only of their own national teams but of many of the others too, expressing themselves on the subject with as much clarity as passion. Normally tongue-tied teenagers suddenly become eloquent, confident, and dazzling analytical experts.
Third, the World Cup is an event that takes place on a level playing field, where every country has a chance to participate on equal terms. Only two commodities matter in this game: talent and teamwork.
Fourth, the World Cup is an event that illustrates the benefits of cross pollination between peoples and countries. More and more national teams now welcome coaches from other countries, who bring new ways of thinking and playing. The same goes for the increasing number of players who, between World Cups, represent clubs away from home. They inject new qualities into their new team, grow from the experience, and are able to contribute even more their home side when they return. In the process, they often become heroes in their adopted countries- helping to open hearts and broaden minds.
I wish it were equally plain for all to see that human migration in general can create triple gains – for migrants, for their countries of origin and for the societies that receive them.
That migrants not only build better lives for themselves and their families, but are also agents of development- economic, social and cultural - in the homelands they inspire through newly won ideas and know-how when they return.

Which brings me to what is perhaps most enviable of all for us at the United Nations: The World Cup is an event in which we actually see goals being reached.
I’m not talking only about the goals that a country scores: I also mean the most important goal of all – being there, being part of the family of nations and peoples, celebrating our common humanity.

Monday, June 12, 2006

What my weight says

I don't really believe in those machines which couldn't possibly have the faintest idea about me could claim to predict my 'fortune'.

But this particular weighing machine caught my attention and I thought it'd be fun ... so... in goes my investment of 20 cents.

"You are about to face many challenges at work. Be prepared to work hard if you want that step upward."

I just started my new job. How ironic.

Saturday, June 10, 2006

Friends Branding

If you DO know me personally,please pay close attention to this.

I KNOW if you're a sincere friend or not.
I trust my instincts to detect which category of friend you fall into -
  • 100% sincere; the type if YES, you'd said YES, if NO you'd say NO
  • 70% sincere; 30% merely trying to be in the FRIENDS' list
  • 50% sincere; 50% EVERYBODY's friends including the people you bad-mouthed about to me
  • 25% holding on to conscience; 75% EVERYBODY's friends including the people you bad-mouthed about to me
  • 100% the FAKE, and living in disillusioned about what the word "FRIENDS" means.

I KNOW... so please select a category now ... coz my branding instincts don't change after I've made up my mind.

Oh, Mel-D'jungle, you are at the top in my category ONE. ^_^

....remember our movie date!!

Wednesday, June 07, 2006


…and I will not let what I cannot do interfere with what I CAN do. – Edward Hale.

I’ve heard many stories about talented people leaving their profession or interest because they were BURNT out due to ‘politics’.

I advised my friend, “But politics is ubiquitous, it’s in every part of our lives. We can’t run away from it, because the presence of politics is merely a reflection of the nature of imperfection in mankind. Turning our back on our core passion in life, aren’t we inflicting greater damage to ourselves?”

He kept quiet. There was no eye contact.

His silence retaliated a self-imposed question.

“What about me? Am I running away too?”

6 Ws 1H

I saw your car again. It's almost 8pm. Work ends at 5.30pm. Why do you do OT almost every day? You live so far away. You are never late for work. So, your 40 mins drive home is just for bed and shower? Isn't there something worth leaving office for? What is it that I don't know about you?

This is really ridiculous. We were colleagues for only 2 weeks. Our end-total conversations wouldn't even add up to 2 hours. And yet, I've been consistently thinking about you for more than a month now. I guess this is just another item to add to my life under the category, "things that don't make sense" and believe me, you top the tower.

I don't even know WHY I like you. WHAT is it that I hope from you. WHEN am I going to admit that you are history. I wonder WHO in future is capable of making me feel half as strong as the mere thought of you. WHICH are the things about you are the facts, and which are the ones that were just fantasy. Lastly, HOW am I able to convince myself, that enough is enough; the ending was long due.

Finally, WHY am I posting this to people SO irrelevant. Whilst, ... ... *sigh*...

Sunday, June 04, 2006

Sorry Sorry Sorry

Sorry Sorry Sorry.

In all minor disputes or misunderstanding or discomfort, I will automatically, "Oh, sorry..."
Coz I thought, it's just a phrase. If some people's pride is SO... costly that they can't utter that word. I dont' mind treating them a few.

I use the word, "Sorry" so frequently that...

If you wake me up suddenly, in anxious tone, my first response will be;
"Sorry, sorry... what?"

My sis and ex-roommates can testify this.

But recently, I stopped feeling 'SORRY'.
I stopped feeling bad for things...
Now, my motto is...
''Hell, if you can't deal with it; Talk to the left coz you ain't right!"

Friday, June 02, 2006

Money can't buy CLASS

Money can't buy good manners nor good personality.

I went to MalaysianToday office a few days ago to collect a little gift I won from one of their many contests.

That place was about 15mins walking distance from the Ampang Park LRT station.
I was relieved when I reached the doorstep.(It's an office renovated from a bungalow)
It was noon and I was sweating like an ice-cream.
Just as I was about to step foot into their air-conditioned office, a lady who was reparking her AlphaRomeo montioned me to stay where I am.

I was confused. The entrance was wide opened. I can see the reception area and a nice guest seating place.
Why is she motioning me to NOT go in?
I ignored her and went in and sat down.

3 mins later, the lady came in.
Asked me why I came in when she clearly didn't want me to.
I told her that I won something. ( I was deliriously incoherent due to the heat + walk).
"That's why I asked you to wait outside."

AlphaRomeo lady called the person in charge.
As I was waiting, my sense came back to me and I thought,
"What the f___k is this B_t_h's problem ah?"

All was compensated when I held the gift in my hand.

Next stop, post office.
I held the door open for the person behind me, instintively.
''Thank You."
I turned around and saw an Indian lady flashing a smile at me.
As I looked at her again, I somewhat concluded that she was there to collect recyclable items for her own interest and wasn't exactly financially comfortable.

But believe me, she ranks much higher than that AlphaRomeo lady.