Friday, April 30, 2010

Sis greeted me via facebook chat.
Started with harmless 'hellos' and 'how are yous', when suddenly we stepped into a very touchy incident.
It is the same incident that we have had endless argument on.
Even both of us felt ''Oh, here we go again'' annoyance.

Yes, the tempers flared again.
And then, back to the COLD relationship again, where we simply don't communicate anymore.

The hurt and anger is very real.
But the worst part is that I had let these feelings destroyed me.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

A ComeBack

My dear friends.
I have thought long and hard over this post.
After a series of depressive droughts and self-destructive manic episodes, it has been really hard for me to face the world.
From the neighbours to my closest friends.
There were times where I couldn't even look at strangers in the eye, that's how terribly low my self esteem was and sometimes still is.

I feel very apologetic to many people. Wish I could render my barest thoughts to them just how sorry I am over my behaviour back when I wasn't 'well'.
But how do I explain 'wasn't well'?
Would they believe me?
If they do, will they still want to be friends with me?
If they don't, will they despise me more?

To those who believe me and still want to be friends,
- I feel that an apology isn't enough. I need to 'be well' consistently and take responsibility for my recovery and treatment to ensure that I don't become a 'thorn' amongst the society. To contribute my self-purpose to the society and worthy of your friendships.

To the special few of you's..
- Words aren't enough to repay your generous tolerance with me. Please believe me when I say - the word appreciation takes on a whole new level here. I will always make the effort to contact you, to remind you that I will always try to be a better person and friend