Saturday, December 29, 2012


My colleague from a different department got me this little water container for Christmas. She knew that I'd have some use for it as I'm always bringing my glass to the staff lounge which is 2 floors down from my own department. The strap will make it more convenient for me. My palms will be free to carry/ do other stuff too! 
I'm going to start to be more observant of other people's habit, likes + dislikes, birthdays.. etc.

Sunday, December 23, 2012

There's an old guy from another department whom I always meet at the staff lounge.
We've chatted several times and I thought we had a rapport.
Until today.

I was attending a line of people when he suddenly just dropped a few books at the counter.
I told him in a serious tone that he has to queue like everyone else.
His demeanour changed and told me a bunch of excuses that has nothing to do with the fact that he is unwilling to wait for his turn, unlike everyone else.
Yelling from the exit, he even instructed me to call him if there were any problems.
I've heard rumours about his unprofessional behaviour before, but I never allowed them to shape my opinion of him.
Well, I guess today I can.

Not long after, a very snobbish department head came to return his books.
It's a he, but I'm calling him - Biatch !
There were so so many incidents in the past of his rudeness but I always smile at him whenever I see him, though he never reciprocated. Yes, he thinks he's that 'great'.
Gosh ! I was so mad today!
I almost decided to never again acknowledge the above people, when suddenly I recall the previous post, Project Forgive

Inhale.
Exhale.
I shall forgive.
Myself.
I will smile to those people again.
It's for Me.

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

Project Forgive

When I'm depressed, the past crept up to me and fill me with guilt.
Some justifiable, but mostly are exaggerated, to the point of nonsensical.
Depression and guilt are powerful partners in making sure I'm miserable.

Currently, I'm trying out a new method of forgiving myself, letting go of the past by forgiving others.
Each time I forgive others, I'm entitled to absolve one guilt of my past.

Today, when I was ordering my salad in the cafeteria, I emphasized that I wanted the sauce to be served separately.
I can't stand the amount of sauce they put in, therefore wanted to put the amount I want myself.
The usual cafe attendant would get it right, but this new one didn't.
I got very upset at first- even considered to insist that he take it back to the kitchen and get it right.
But no.
"Let it go." - my mind whispered.

The agitation was still lingering as I futilely tried to remove the mountain of sauce in my salad.
I began to recall all those times when I got the orders wrong back when I was a waitress years ago.
(gosh, dated so long that I'm embarrassed to type it here)
Most of the customers ''let it go'' too.

It's time, I let things go.
One at a time.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

The parents who made their son's wheelchair into the best Halloween costume ever

The terminally ill man who loves receiving mail... and got more than he ever expected. Scott Widak has Down syndrome and suffers from liver disease, and he loves receiving mail. His nephew Sean posted his P.O. Box on Reddit and the site's users responded with hundreds of letters, packages, and gifts.

A kind stranger who stopped a day from being ruined

The doctor who offered free medical care after Hurricane Sandy
And the people that helped out any way that they could

Hospital employees make a human chain passing containers of fuel up 13 flights of stairs to the backup generator at Bellevue Hospital in New York City.
 

This Libyan child who doesn't believe in hate

The police officer who bought shoes for a barefoot homeless man.

And the police officers who made blind 13-year-old Gage Hancock-Stevens' dream of being a cop come true

The Texas A&M students that blocked Westboro Baptist Church protesters with a human wall.When students heard that Westboro Baptist Church planned on protesting the funeral of a soldier, they formed a human barricade around the funeral service to block them out.





When John Unger had suicidal thoughts after a breakup, it was his dog Shoep who brought him back from the brink. This photograph shows Unger cradling his friend in lake Superior to soothe the dog's arthritis.


Friday, December 14, 2012

Edited from FB.
There was a charity programme for orphans and I was therewith my friends.
I witness something very special.
I was seated at the very back of the hall, where there were about 20 to 25 orphans seated nearby.
A little boy caught my attention as he was making noise.
He was hungry and begged a volunteer for a piece of biscuit.
He was given the whole packet.
Although it contained no more than 15 to 20 biscuits, the little boy face lit up with great joy.
I thought he would eat all the biscuits in one go, but to my great surprise, he gave them to all of his friends. They were all hungry but each of them got at least half a piece of biscuit.
However, there weren't any left for him.
I think he anticipated this.
I thought he would start to cry, but surprisingly, he smiled at his friends who were happily munching the biscuits.
An older boy, carried this small kid on his lap and gave him a biscuit -(which was given to him earlier).
The little boy broke the biscuit into two and shared it with the older boy.
They hugged each other and said nothing.
This pic shows the kid playing with the older boy.
" Happiness is not the absence of conflict, but the harmony of contrasts. "

Sunday, December 09, 2012

Armless student Suo Pengfei takes the national college entrance examination in Handan, North China's Hebei province, June 7, 2010. Suo lost his arms when he was a child, but he learned to dress and undress himself, eat, and write with his toes, Xinhua reportedfrom chinadaily

Wednesday, December 05, 2012

Taken from DeeBear from http://www.depressionforums.org/forums/blog/1378/entry-21644-beware-whinny-venting-ahead/

I've had lots of time to think about it, and I came to the conclusion that living with depression is like walking a tightrope over a giant dry well.  If you look back too far, you fall.  If you look forward too far, you fall.  But if you concentrate on one step at a time, you can stay on that wire a little longer.

And when you fall, you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel because it's not there.  You see the light high above your head, and wonder how you'll ever climb back out.  It only takes a moment to fall, but it takes a long time to climb back out.  I guess the trick is to leave yourself footholds as you climb out to make it easier the next time.  It's always a struggle though, climbing out, and while it's hard knowing you've been here before, and that you'll be here again, there is another way to look at it.  Try to take comfort in knowing you've been here before and gotten out before, and that this time is no different.  That's the "footholds" I use to help me remember how to get out.

Another thing is to allow yourself to rest.  Climbing back out is hard, and you don't want to be where you are, but resting and building up strength is often necessary before attempting the climb.  Resting to build up your strength and courage is an important step, though it's hard to do when you're down in that hole.  I firmly believe that people who've never been down in that hole couldn't handle it.  It takes an enormous amount of strength and courage to live with depression, to survive all it throws at you.  Many people don't have that strength.  Look back, remember you've always made it through, and that you'll make it through this.

"Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome."
  --  Booker T. Washington