Sunday, August 31, 2014

This article by Matt Walsh - that Robin Williams didn't die of depression but of his own choice made many valid points.
Excerpts below -
It’s a tragic choice, truly, but it is a choice, and we have to remember that. Your suicide doesn’t happen to you; it doesn’t attack you like cancer or descend upon you like a tornado. It is a decision made by an individual. A bad decision. Always a bad decision.
Joy and love. There might not be much else for us on this Earth, but these are the only two things that matter anyway. These are the forces that brought the whole universe into being, and these are the forces that sustain it, and us, and all life.
Life. Life exists, and we are made to live it.
To quote Robin Williams playing a character quoting Walt Whitman:
“What good amid these, O me, O life? Answer. That you are here — that life exists.”
If you are thinking about suicide, don’t keep it inside. Tell someone.Never give up the fight.There is always hope. 
Read more by Matt Walsh here

Friday, August 22, 2014

Scene One
I forgot what prompted this following conversation.
"But you ARE a success story." said Ml.
Wf nodded when our eyes met.
"Wow, I would have a hard time believing that, had it been anybody else. But I know you."

What a compliment.

Scene Two
Sw is still unconvinced that moving to a another state will make me happier.
I smiled.

We discussed about her favourite movie Legend of 1900.
I took this opportunity to make my point.
"See? I'm getting off my ship.
What if's... is a terrible way to end a story."

Monday, August 18, 2014

Osaka; 37-year old Hitoshi Ishikawa, has attracted the attention of a lot of people recently, after being credited with certainly one of the saddest records in history, after surviving his jump from the Chitose bridge in the Japanese metropolis. The organization of the Guinness Book of Records recognized today, that this 113th unsuccessful suicide attempt constitutes a new World record.

The fall of more than 120 meters into the Taisho Inner-Port almost killed the poor man, breaking both of his legs, one his arms and several of his ribs. He was rapidly recovered however, by a doctor and his wife  aboard a recreational boat. The couple rapidly took Mr. Ishikawa back to land and called an ambulance. He was taken to the Osaka University Hospital, where after many hours in the operation room, the medical personnel were miraculously able to save him.
 After he jumped from the roof for the second time, Mr. Ishibawa’s employer installed some anti-suicide nets around the office building 

His latest attempt is only one of many spectacular suicidal actions of Mister Ishikawa that attracted attention from the media over the years. On the 17 of January 2014, he had attempted to jump in front of a train at the Yoboyabashi station of the Osaka subway, only to be rescued at the very last moment by a bystander. In 2012, he had jumped in the tigers’ cage at the Kamine Zoo in Hitachi, creating a serious commotion but exiting uninjured.

His case is not as unique as it seems in Osaka, Japan’s third largest city by population and the second most populated metropolitan area in Japan. It is also one of the largest in the world with nearly 19 million inhabitants. This very high density of population creates a lot of competition on the professional market, especially among younger adults. Suicide attempts are therefore, not rare in the city or in Japan in general, as the country rates 8th in the World in terms of suicide rate. The case of Mr. Ishibawa seems however to have attracted a lot of attention on the subject, which is usually rather taboo in the Japanese culture. - 

Entire report taken from world news dailyreport

Wednesday, August 13, 2014


Self-Care Practices

I really love this phrase by Danny Baker, author and mental health advocate,
"It's really hard to beat a mental illness, but it's even harder for a mental illness to beat a person who never gives up. Recovery is possible, but you have to take responsibility for it. Every night before you go to sleep, ask yourself, "what steps did I take today to help me recover from my illness?" You should always be able to have at least one answer."

He created a list - 14 Self-Care Practices That Can Lead You To A Happy And Healthy Life

1. Don't worry about things that are beyond your control
2. Don't speak badly about yourself - because you're listening
3. Surround yourself with positive people as opposed to negative ones
4. Treat your body like a temple - eat well, sleep well and exercise frequently
5. Don't be a prisoner of what other people think
6. Be assertive
7. Don't live in denial
8. Work at letting go of your anger
9. Recognize that your career is not the only thing that matters in life
10. Have goals and strive to achieve them
11. Ruthlessly eliminate excuses
12. Congratulate yourself when you do something good
13. Don't victimize yourself or ruminate on things that go wrong
14. Take responsibility for your health

Tuesday, August 12, 2014

Setting : The staff lounge.

Me : I noticed that you look rather sad lately. Is everything all right?
Bn : *looked very distant. What me? No.

I decided not to let it go
Me : I saw you walking towards the gate sometime last week. You looked so tired.
He hesitated for a moment.

Bn : I just got back from my one month MC.
I didn't hide my shock.
Me : One month? What happened?

That was when I found out his troubles. I inquired if the medical expenses are still bearable, but he seemed reluctant to talk about it.
But I'm glad that he has a brother who cares.

Sunday, August 10, 2014















"Our volunteers also paid a visit to Fred who is now working and living a steady life. He was stranded for a few months until he came to know about KSK. We are very happy for him."
Taken from Kechara Soup Kitchen

Friday, August 08, 2014

Taken from Kechara Soup Kitchen
I find this very inspirational. The soup kitchen staff found Nathan a job.
And today is Nathan's first day at work as a security guard.
He must be very nervous.

Thursday, August 07, 2014

Scene One
I was chatting with SW at the corridor as our favourite place, the staff lounge, was closed for an event.
Just then, Cc appeared with both hands carrying various things.
She saw how delighted we were to see her but she didn't slow down her pace, "Busy busy busy. Talk to you another time." Her tone was as monotonous as her hurried footsteps.
Both SW and I smiled at her amusingly, waving our hands, as our heads slowly turned, catching the last glimpse of her before she disappeared at the corner.
"She's so cute," Both of us came to agree.

Scene Two
I patiently taught the autistic student how to use the photocopy machine.
Bless that child.
That girl from Malacca can't read emotions and neither does she possess the ability to be irritated nor offended.
In this two years I've known her, the only time I saw her 'not smiling' was when she misplaced her things.

Scene Three
"Why do you look so upset?" "Nobody is ever upset to resign from this place. What? You're going to miss all the stress and working through the holidays?", I teased LC.
LC gave a defeated smile.
"I'm going to miss the people here."
I smiled too.

Scene Four
I gossiped excitedly with my colleague about a talented Communications Lecturer.
Both of us admire her tremendously as she seems to be playing a real life TV character.
Humourous, very likable, pretty and she possesses a Doctorate in her field.
"Oxford? No way!" My colleague went on Facebook to check out her equally TV star-material looking husband.
I was quite occupied but I couldn't stop talking, to the extent I continued typing on the keyboard while chatting with her.

Scene Five
A friend who also works in the building came by to say hi. She updated me on her baby who had recently said his first word, "Bird."
I've always liked her. I love how genuine she is.
I love how her smiles reassures me that "it's not all that bad."

Scene Six
I was at the cashier paying for my groceries.
As the cashier was about to scan my favourite snack, bite-size white chocolate oats wafers, he commented to his colleague that this snack is absolutely delicious.
I smiled at him.
Immediately I tore off the packaging and gave him two of those wafers, "Here, we can share."
He smiled back, "Thanks, Ma'am".

Last Scene
My last scene that I'm sharing here is actually the first scene of my day.
The morning.
The scene where the Darkness is at its strongest, while I'm at my weakest.
My deepest sorrow,fear,shame and guilt torment me to hide in my corner.

I must remember that the above scenes are my achievements of the day,
simply because I got up.
Oh, I went to gym after work.


Tuesday, August 05, 2014

I'm really feeling sick to the stomach.
I didn't go to work for two days.
Yesterday, outside the clinic I saw a homeless man.
He had flies around him.
I don't think he's mentally sound.

Today, in a convenient store, I saw a little boy whose right arm is deformed, amputated.
He seemed to have adjusted well with this disability, as he was moving about actively, like all boys his age.
The caretaker is a coarse lady who threatened him, telling him bad people will come to chop off his other arm if he doesn't behave.

Too much sadness.

Saturday, August 02, 2014

Found this.
Am grateful.
"You can do it. Try." says the Yoga instructor, while the majority of the beginners were allowed to take the easier option.

"Come on, jump!" says the Body Combat instructor, again, while the rest were allowed to take the easier option.

"It's not that you can't. You just don't want to. Lazy maybe?" says LC.

........Oh dear.

Friday, August 01, 2014

Saving Mr.Banks

Ralph: The sun came out again.
P.L. Travers: You say it like you're surprised, for goodness sake! It's California! I would much rather be accountable for the rain.
Ralph: That's sad.
P.L. Travers: Sad is entirely the wrong emotion! I shan't bother explaining why.
P.L. Travers: The rain gives life!
Ralph: So does the sun.
P.L. Travers: Be quiet!

[Travers gives Ralph a list of people to his handicapped daughter, Jane]
Ralph: "Albert Einstein, Van Gogh, Roosevelt, Frida Kahlo" - What is this?
P.L. Travers: They all had difficulties. Jane can do anything that anyone else can do, do you understand?
[beat]
P.L. Travers: Look on the back.
Ralph: [turns it over] "Walt Disney."
P.L. Travers: Deficiencies in concentration and hyperactive behavior. Explains everything!

Walt Disney: I don't tell you this to make you sad, Mrs. Travers. I don't. I love my life, I think it's a miracle. And I loved my dad. He was a wonderful man. But rare is the day when I don't think about that eight-year-old boy delivering newspapers in the snow and old Elias Disney with that strap in his fist.
And I am just so tired, Mrs. Travers. I'm tired of remembering it *that* way. Aren't you tired, too, Mrs. Travers? Now we all have our sad tales, buy don't you want to finish the story? Let is all go and have a life that isn't dictated by the past?
It's not the children she comes to save. It's their father. It's *your* father... Travers Goff.
P.L. Travers: I don't know what you think you know about me, Walter...
Walt Disney: You must have loved and admired him a lot to take his name. It's him this is all about, isn't it? All of it, everything. Forgiveness, Mrs. Travers, it's what I learned from your books.
P.L. Travers: I don't have to forgive my father. He was a wonderful man.
Walt Disney: No... you need to forgive Helen Goff. Life is a harsh sentence to lay down for yourself.
Don't you want to finish the story?


“I think my grandfather may have the correct approach to art. He’s had a long career, and in his retirement he’s been working on building a boat.
I doubt he’ll ever finish it, but I don’t think that’s particularly important to him. He wakes up every morning, drinks his cup of coffee, then goes out to his workshop to sand a tiny portion of wood.
He doesn’t need to finish that boat to pay the rent. He can afford to have some distance from it, so he gets to enjoy it. He looks at that boat tenderly, like he looks at his grandkids.
He gets to have a dream without the necessity of achieving it.”

Of course the time I leave my camera at home, I run into this guy. Had to snap a pic with my phone anyway. He was making farm animal noises at passing pedestrians. "Got to make the best of it," he said.