Friday, May 29, 2015

I was having a good time doing Zumba at the gym.
It is very rare to have such an exuberant instructor.
I don't think I've had such a good Zumba time since I've left KL.

There was a sexy Salsa move in one of those songs.
The male instructor was playfully enticing one of his male friends to be more bold with it.
The male friend playfully retaliated by kicking.

What a fun scene to watch.

Tuesday, May 26, 2015

LJ and I were chatting about everything under the sun.
* such a coincidence she shares the same name of the previous colleague.

We started to talk about relationship.

"I think it'd be such a blessing if one can find a life partner." I said.

"No. I think it's more important to find oneself first." she said wisely.
"Only when one has found her core, she can conjure up passion in her life. And nothing is more attractive than a woman exuding passion."
I bumped into the old uncle who sleeps by the restaurant last night.

"Hi Uncle, how are you doing? Had your dinner?" (my usual greeting)
"Yes, yes. I have eaten." (his usual answer, touching his belly)

As I was about to quicken my pace to walk away, he surprised me by saying more.

*hokkien
"You're not from around here, are you? Your accent is foreign."
"Yup, I'm from *I mumbled something which I thought meant KL"
"Oh, you're from China?"
My brain frantically search for alternative explanation. No avail.
My vocabulary was only enough to say "No" accompanied by an exasperated look.
He continued, *the following is my own interpretation from the random isolated Hokkien words I understood from him.

"You are very different from the rest of the usual people who walk pass me. You greet me.
I truly appreciate it. Thank you.
I'm touched - (*kam tong - I'm so pleased that I had learnt this word earlier.)

Some people educated XXX (don't understand) illiterate XXX?? uneducated XXX?? look down upon me.
Many friends don't XXX??
I'm OK. At this age, I'm (at peace) kua pua.
I will die anytime.
Trouble breathing in the morning.
Different people have different fate.
XXX?? old folks home. XXX?? full of old people. XXX?? won't be hungry"

He went on and on.
My legs were in pins and needles from squatting.
My facial expression was obvious that I was struggling to understand him.
My blur face was on full blast mode.
And yet, he continued talking.
It was obvious, he really wanted somebody to talk to.
Even to a blur face.

I ask him what does he do in the daytime?
"Oh, I collect recyclables, I get a few dollars. It's ok."
"It's going to rain, won't you get wet? Cold?"
"Oh, a little . But I have a blanket, umbrella " patting his belongings.
"And your towel, I haven't forgotten" he smiled.
"Where are your children? Do you have any?"
This question seemed to have made him uncomfortable.
"No. No children. I didn't marry. XXX?? *many words I don't understand"

"Uncle, I will be moving soon. I doubt I'll be able to see you this often. Here take this for good luck"
I gave him some money, which he was reluctant to take. *he usually only accepts food.
I left it beside him and bade him farewell.
I will miss his toothless but very bright and sincere smile.
Even I can't muster that kind of brightness.

Monday, May 25, 2015

Things are quite tense in the house.
I decided to take a walk.
At the guard house exit, I met the guard, whom I habitually address as 'uncle'.
He gave me a box of KFC.
(A lot of people give food to this uncle)
Although I was full, I decided to take it, knowing that I will be seeing the homeless old man at the eatery.
On my way, I met the thin old man .
I instinctively decided to give him instead.
"Uncle, this is for you. It's chicken" I said in my limited Hokkien.
(I pray to God my Hokkien pronunciation is understandable)
He felt the box without looking at it.
That was when I confirmed my suspicion.
This man is indeed blind.

I watched him struggle on with his journey on foot with the help of his walking stick.
Shame and sorrow twisted my heart inwards.
A few weeks ago, I was running after a bus which had already stopped at the bus stand.
I was about 20 metres away and had feared that it might go off without me.
An old lady noticed me, and boarded the bus.
Her action delayed the bus, hence I was in time to board it too.
When I met her in the bus, she told me that this bus wasn't her first choice.
This bus which we are in would require her to walk a longer distance to her destination.
She was waiting for another more ideal bus number.
But she saw me running, so she wanted to help.
I was so touched.
I thanked her profusely.

Today, I saw her again at the bus stand.
I asked her about her destination.
Indeed, she had to walk quite a bit when she boarded the bus for me the last time.
I continued asking about where she live and her work.
I learnt that,
she is a seamstress who lives in 5 mins-walk away from the bus stand.
She wished her apartment had a balcony because she doesn't like to hang her clothes to dry at the walkway grills.
She is 70-years-old but working because she enjoys how time past more quickly when she is occupied.
She spoke to me in mixed English, Mandarin and Hokkien because my Hokkien was unbearable to her ears. (hahaha...this is my own deduction)

I'm very happy to have met her acquaintance.

Friday, May 22, 2015


Things to be grateful for.
1. Tasted a lot of new food during the above event's press conference.
2.Witnessed a lot of selfless volunteers who commit to their work passionately.

3. The electrical shop staff gave me an unauthorized member discount by keying in as another account. It was an unsolicited effort. I saved RM11.
Perhaps it was my smile? Hahaha. Really made my day.

4.Hui Hui came to the office. It's our first meeting in 4 months. Nice.

5.Had a nice plate of spaghetti.

6. Saw a room which had a majestic view of the straits sea and bridge. Too bad, I couldn't take it.

7. Last week, when I was paying for my bread, the cashier put in extra buns into the bag. "On the house!". I'm glad I went during the time that the boss wasn't around.

Thursday, May 21, 2015

“When I was depressed, it felt like I was walking through mud all the time. My head was filled with thoughts like, ‘If my friends knew who I really was, they wouldn’t love me.’ And, ‘What right do I have to exist?’
 And, eventually, ‘Why do any of us have the right to exist?’ If people were being kind to me, I wasn’t able to access that kindness. It wouldn’t produce a feeling in me.

If a child smiled at me from a stroller, it might lift me up for a millisecond, but then I’d fall back into darkness.
Before I was depressed, I could find joy in things so easily. I worked as a gardener, and I learned the calls of the birds so I could tell where they were just by listening.
I loved to show new plants and insects to children, and see how excited they’d get. I made a 50th birthday card for my sister, and got strangers from all over the world to write ‘Happy Birthday’ in their language.
But during my depression, I couldn’t access any of that joy. I’d try reminding myself that other people had bigger problems. I’d try telling myself to quit being weak, and to snap out of it. But nothing worked.”
Taken from Humans of New York


“I’m trying to come back to work after a period of depression.
I’ve battled it off-and-on my whole life, but two years ago the wheels just completely came off.
I’d just had a wonderful Thanksgiving dinner with my friends, and I went to sleep in a good mood, but then the next day I couldn’t get out of bed. I was still in bed four days later when my boss started calling.
The next two years were a battle. I lost my job. I was hospitalized three times.
I filled a giant binder with information about depression, where to find programs, and how to appeal your insurance company.
 I felt like I was fighting for my life.
I’d call a hospital that specialized in a certain type of therapy, and they’d tell me they didn’t take my insurance. I’d say: ‘Please help me. I’m dying.’”

Tuesday, May 19, 2015

Last night, I have finally made up my mind about my housemate.
Yup, I shall be looking for a new place.

I knew I was taking a risk when I became friends with her.
Despite my blasting instincts that she's one difficult personality, I decided to give benefit to the doubt.
She lost her parents when she was in her teens, and I felt that her difficult upbringing should give some leeway for her occasional insensitivity.

But, occasional soon became frequent.
Frequent became habitual.
Habitual became authoritative.

Last night, I decided not to be nice anymore.
I gave one syllable answers.
Enough.

I will miss the place.
I had some good memories.

Thursday, May 14, 2015



Professor Sydney Engelberg, a 45-year lecturing veteran at the Hebrew University in Jerusalem, was unfazed when the child of a mother at his lecture on organizational behavior began to cry.
The embarrassed mom tried to leave the class, but instead, the father-of-four and grandfather-of-five scooped the kid up and soothed him in his arms – without missing a beat in the lesson.
According to his daughter,

Engelberg allows the mothers that attend his masters’ lectures to bring their children and even breastfeed.
The way he sees the concept of getting education is not only learning the dry facts that you need to learn in class, but also learning values.

Taken from www.boredpanda.com

Tuesday, May 12, 2015

The Vision: Humans are odd. They think order and chaos are somehow opposites and try to control what won't be. But there is grace in their failings. I think you missed that.

Ultron: They're doomed

The Vision: Yes... but a thing isn't beautiful because it lasts. It is a privilege to be among them.
When I saw these variety of food which I've never seen, I felt so bedazzled. "I hope to try more of these someday". I felt truly very encouraged that I actually bore such hope. Depression hasn't defeated me, evidently.