Thursday, December 22, 2011

“No try. Do!” he says, simply.

“It takes a lot of gumption and tenacity to live the life you want to live,” says Chin. “Nothing comes easy. So if you feel you are taking a big risk in life, and throwing yourself at something you’re passionate about because you can’t imagine life without it, you’re off to a good start!”

Words to live by, for sure.

--taken from TheStar

Saturday, December 17, 2011

"I have always believed that life is a progress whereby heaven gives you something and takes away something. Some people are more fortunate than others; but no one has a perfect life. No one has a completely bad life. Those who have very little can be happy with the most insignificant things."

quote from Lindsay L. Wang, author-Dog's Daughter

Thursday, December 15, 2011

FB story forwarded

A group of alumni, highly established in their careers, got together to visit their old university professor. Conversation soon turned into complaints about stress in work and life.

Offering his guests coffee, the professor went to the kitchen and returned with a large pot of coffee and an assortment of cups - porcelain, plastic, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some
expensive, some exquisi......te - telling them to help themselves to the coffee.

When all the students had a cup of coffee in hand, the professor said:

"If you noticed, all the nice looking expensive cups were taken up, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress.

Be assured that the cup itself adds no quality to the coffee. In most cases it is just more expensive and in some cases even hides what we drink.

What all of you really wanted was coffee, not the cup, but you consciously went for the best cups... And then you began eyeing each other's cups.

Now consider this: Life is the coffee; the jobs, money and position in society are the cups. They are just tools to hold and contain Life, and the type of cup we have does not define, nor change the quality of Life we live.

Sometimes, by concentrating only on the cup, we fail to enjoy the coffee God has provided us."

God brews the coffee, not the cups.......... Enjoy your coffee!

"The happiest people don't have the best of everything. They just make the best of everything."

Live simply. Love generously. Care deeply. Speak kindly. Leave the rest to God.

Thursday, December 08, 2011

During a discussion, one of the topics were 'REGRETS'.
What would we do differently if we could turn back time?
ALL of us wished that we had been more serious in our studies.

Meaning, all of us regret that we didn't apply our fullest potential during our academic years.
Thus, we are now bearing the consequences.

Everyone of us wish we could turn back time because we always feel that we could have done better.
Isn't it just... *sigh*

.......tragic? Inevitably so...

Sunday, December 04, 2011

There was a company retreat training programme yesterday.
Ladies only.
One of the topic was about the physical changes we hope to have.
A few ladies even broke down crying while sharing their thoughts on this topic.
I felt very surprised as these ladies have always appeared to be either very tough or very cheerful at workplace.
Who'd know they have so much insecurities in them?

Thursday, December 01, 2011

Oh dear, another disturbing dream.
I was at a high dark place and couldn't get down.
A friend keep telling me, "You can do it!" while directing me to the little steps which I was struggling to see in the dark.

Then, I couldn't keep up with the gym instructor.
He was teaching the class kick-boxing but nobody was moving.
Instead, all eyes were on me.
I asked the person next to me, "Why isn't anyone following the instructor but looking at me? "
"Coz you're doing it wrongly"

I felt so ashamed.

Friday, November 25, 2011

Library of the City of Stuttgart. Germany

Wednesday, November 23, 2011


A lady with disability at the starting line.

Monday, November 21, 2011

I was never the kind of person who would participate in marathons. An occasional stroll around the neighbourhood is all it takes to deceive myself that my body has fulfilled its exercising needs.

After a series of setbacks, I have unconsciously gained 11kg- putting myself in the overweight category. I never really bounced back from the setbacks and I allowed my weight issue to further lower my self-esteem. I have begun to be complacent about life and no longer have the vigour to perk up my lifestyle.

My sister, a marathon runner enthusiast, invited me to take part in the famous Penang Bridge International Marathon. At first, I thought she was mocking me! It was when she emailed me the registration form that I began to consider her suggestion seriously. My sister convinced me that I can just stroll the entire fun-run category while admiring the panoramically beautiful scenery the bridge promises. Just a few clicks on the mouse, and I have both registered and paid for my participation.

On the actual day, I had to wake up at 1am as my sister’s half-marathon category begins at 3.15am. As I was rubbing my eyes, I began to regret. “What have I gotten myself into?” The thought of calling the whole thing off did crossed my mind. When we finally parked the car, I saw many experienced and veteran runners warming up and eating their energy food (a term I recently learnt). I felt slightly intimidated and out of place as the crowd began to soar. But those feeling quickly faded when the drums thundered through the crowd and everyone was cheering and clapping. The joy and excitement was hysterically widespread. I proudly waved to my sister as she started her run.

My 10km fun-run started at 7am and I was already exhausted upon completing only the first 2km. I was a bit worried how I’m going to finish the rest of the run. But my spirits were immediately lifted the moment my eyes caught the magnificent view of the bridge. The sun had just rise, and many runners like me eagerly stopped and took photos. Perhaps it was due to the massive amount of endorphin pumped to my body, suddenly I decided that I want to finish the run within the qualifying time – 1.5 hours.
I began to pace my jogs and walks while checking the time on my watch. The motivation was readily available as there were many other determined runners around me, consisting the elderly and infirmed.

At the last 500 meters, many people who had already completed their earlier category were cheering at the side of the road, some even giving high-fives to encourage the runners. The euphoria at the finishing line was indescribable and I was very relieved that I was qualified for the certificate. While walking back to the car, my head was full of ideas on how to physically prepare myself for a better performance in the next year’s run. As I’m writing this, my legs still sore but my spirits remain high. This run has somewhat probed me into believing in myself that I can do better, be better. I truly believe that every runner will gain some insights about themselves or about life, when they put their determination and endurance into test.

Earlier, I joked that I signed up for this marathon just to have a feel of the previous suicidals on the bridge.
Well, when I was there, I didn't even dare to step too close to the ledge.
I looked down, and wondered to myself the extend of the horrific minds of those who jumped.
##Don't get stuck in comfort zone.
If you put a frog in a pot of water and slowly turn up the heat, the frog will remain in the pot and slowly boil to death.
However, if you drop a frog in a pot that is already boiling, it will immediately leap out!

I'm becoming a frog broth!
"The most difficult jump is the one you have to do right after you've fallen"
-Olympic gold medal skater Scott Hamilton

i love this place

I'm clear-headed each time I'm here...

Saturday, November 19, 2011

Peace of mind isn't just the absence of problems. Peace of mind comes from your ability to deal with issues.

It takes courage to be proactive and embrace hope instead of being reactive to depression or defeat. Being scared is what comes before courage.
"Courage is being afraid but saddling up anyway"- John Wayne.

Personal question, can you allow yourself to believe you are more than your past?

taken from The Transparent Life- Naomi Judd
wow, this facebook post I found feels like it was directed specially for my blog.

‎"When you are left with nothing but BROKEN PIECES, take them, rearrange them, and make MASTERPIECES." - Unknown

Friday, November 11, 2011

I had a weird dream.
It's one of those dreams that you'd remember though you've long awaken.

I was cycling to an unfamiliar destination, and my front tyre was puncture.
I was directed to the most unlikely place to get help.

As I resume my journey, I was at the top of a mountain without any proper road or pathway.
I was very scared but I know there was no turning back.
The weirdest part was,
the scenery was very beautiful.

I'm no dream interpreter expert, but I know this dream does indicate my current emotions

Tuesday, November 08, 2011

My friend was going through some trouble.
Her anxiety was eerily similar to mine.
Her wise mom gave the following advice.

"What you are going through is normal. Learning process makes one fell like that but you get proficient with consistency. Quitting creates new problems."

It's very true.

Saturday, November 05, 2011

There was a new restaurant at workplace.
Co-workers and I were very excited to try it out.
The set meals came with F&N drinks.
I got the grape flavoured soda.

After my first sip, I suddenly recall that Fanta-Grape (old name) was my favourite drink when I was a child. (isn't weird that we can forget so much about ourselves sometimes?)
I've always loved the colour purple, so naturally I'd pick Fanta-Grape as my choice of soda.
I've stopped drinking soda when I reached my teens. (when I learned about the sugar level)
As I continue to sip the drink, I began to recollect my childhood happy 'mood'.
Afterall, as a child, I only get my sodas on festive/grand occasions.
My co-workers were amused that I was enjoying the drink so much.

Ah... Fanta-Grape.

Tuesday, November 01, 2011

The reason I love Criminal Minds so much is because I can relate to so many of the dialogs in this drama series.

Jennifer 'JJ' Jareau: ...yes, there are monsters, and it's okay to be afraid of them. But it's not okay to let them win, and it's not okay to be one.

And at the end of every episode, there will be wise quotes that somewhat sums up the entire 1-hour show.

" A family is a place where minds come in contact with one another. If these minds love one another, the home will be as beautiful as a flower garden. But, if these minds get out of harmony with one another, it is like a storm that plays havoc with the garden. "-The Buddha

Monday, October 31, 2011

It was my cousin sister's wedding lunch reception yesterday.
I've never tasted such delicious vegetarian food!
The entire 9-course meal (we're Chinese, that's why)was very satisfactory to the entire table of relatives - all 11 of us, which has never happened before.

Everyone was in good mood and chatted cheerfully - which again, has never happened before either.
Even my brother made the effort to hold a conversation with cousin brother L(someone we meet annually).
I was very surprised that my brother was willing to share his troubles with L.

L gave suggestions to my brother.
"At your own pace, try surprising yourself each day/week/month. Your emotions and mental state will slowly find its original positive state."
"For example, why don't you try serving the dishes to each separate plates to everyone?" (an act which all the other cousins had taken turn to do)

My brother did.
Much to everyone's surprise.

Friday, October 28, 2011

very important reminder

I was inspired by a friend to play dress up. (we were all very eager trying to find ways NOT to feel depressed )
I went to the fitting room, trying out the XL outfits that were on sale.
They were very pretty and reasonably priced.

"Ha ha, for the first time, there's an advantage for being BIG!"
She shared my humor too. I absolutely love this cutting

This color is nice but doesn't show here due to the yellow lights in the fitting room. I was too shy to step out.

Felt good about myself but I didn't buy any.

Baby steps... baby steps..

Sunday, October 16, 2011

I have been pushing myself to go out and do things.

Yesterday, after a two-hour Facial (bought online at discounted price) , I went to O'Brien's to have their famous Tripledecker sandwich which was on 50% discount.

I was very tired when I got home but I don't regret going out.

Need to do more things.

I desperately need to 'live'...

Thursday, October 13, 2011

This pretty bookmark was given by co-worker. She bought it on her Cameron Highlands vacation. She brought delicious strawberry chocolates to the office too.

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

A friend bought a book for the group to read.
Something about managing anxiety and panic attacks.
I thought it was very sweet of her to have us in her thoughts while shopping for herself in a book fair.

Another friend brought chocolates for us, each individually packed with variants.
It's hard not to be impressed and touched by the thought and time put into the gifts.

My dear friends,

Thank You.

Monday, October 10, 2011

I was browsing the support group's attendance book.
I noticed the handwriting of a member who has stopped coming for a long time.

"He has very nice handwriting!"
The person next to me agreed.
His penmanship was really uncommonly stylish.
I began to recall his demeanour during sharing time.
He reminded me of my primary school Headmaster.
He couldn't really express himself, but you'd know that he is burdened with a heavy heart.

I continued staring at his handwriting, while silently wishing him well.

Sunday, October 09, 2011

LOOK at the camels first and then read the message below. This is a picture taken from directly above these camels in the desert at sunset. It is considered to be one of the best pictures of the year. When you look closely, you can see that the camels are the little white lines in the picture. The black images you see are just the shadows! Sometimes, our "problems" seem to be as big as the shadows...but they are little.

Saturday, October 01, 2011

My co-worker confided in me about her 9-year-old nephew who is currently having problems with stress.
We were sharing coping skills that have been tried and tested, and how devastating mismanagement of unstable emotions can be.
I was very eager to share with her a real case study, a friend who was severed by mental illness but finally found his way to overcome it.
At the height of my eagerness to prove the authenticity of this story, I revealed to her that I was hospitalised in the ward before.

I don't know if I was being too trusting or simply careless.
But I do trust her.