Friday, October 31, 2008

My sis gestured me to take a look.
She was on a chair sneaking a glimpse through brother's room.
Brother keeps his room strictly sanctified to himself.
No one is allowed to even look.
It's an uncomfortable practice that the family has to put up with since his teens.

As I approached her, I knew it can't be good.
I climbed next to her.
I had expected the worst and yet I couldn't help my heart from sinking.
I saw this similar sight 4 years ago when I visited him, back in those days when he rented a room outside home.
But this time, *head shaking* I really can't find new words to describe.
-weird- worrying- disturbing-

He was a very different person when he was in his teens.
How could this happen?
How could I not blame my parents?
How could it not be their fault?
My bro, sis... me...
How could they...?

Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Thank you.
I can't believe you're reading this.
No false humility but it's really quite flattering to know that there are people who would read such self-absorbed blog.

I went to McD this afternoon.
It was freaking hot! Therefore, any air-conditioned place is haven.
I sat there and wrote 4 letters to penpals I found on the penpal-international website.
I wrote, paused, stared.
So, it took me more than 2 hours to complete.

I hardly leave home these days.
But I'm slowly pulling up my socks.
I must continue.

** I was interrupted by news that a family's friend's 24-year-old daughter is having some psychiatric problems, believed to be triggered by a failed BGR. Honestly, I don't know what to feel....

Saturday, October 04, 2008

I heard my brother grinding his teeth in his sleep.
When awake,I recognised the pursed lips and faraway stare on my sibling's face.

I feel it too.
I can identify but not make sense of it.
I see him seeking for TRUTH too, at various corners.
I think the attempt alone is part of the truth.
Perhaps he is closer than he thinks.

Perhaps I too...