Monday, September 21, 2015

Gombang is one of the two Nepalese security guards in the building.
I often hear his name being summoned loudly.
He would respond quickly, "Yes, sir!" and run to the direction of the voice immediately.
I have always admired Gombang for his enthusiasm at work.

I had always wondered who his superior was.
Who is this person who would feel so comfortable giving commands like that?
Today, I found out.
He is merely his colleague, judging from their identical uniform.
Today, I saw this security guard who suffers from delusional superiority complex, commanding Gombang to carry heavy items under the sun, while he just observe.
And Gombang did as instructed dutifully.

It was easy to see that this deluded security guard was bullying him.
I don't see him acting superior with any other guards.
Perhaps, he thought that nationality plays a hierarchal value.

In my books, Gombang is far more superior that him, in ways that he can't even begin to gauge.

Thursday, September 17, 2015

“I’m a rare book librarian. I get to touch books every single day. 
 My colleague and I have a joke that we are Defenders of Wonder. 
 A physical book assigns a sense of reverence to the content inside. 
 It’s the same feeling you get when you look at a painting or hear a piece of music. And I think that’s something worth defending.
  And just like a book gives reverence to its content, I think the library gives reverence to books. The building itself is a masterpiece. 
 So many famous thinkers have come here to study and write. Just being here connects you to that lineage.”

Tuesday, September 08, 2015

Taken from Lockdream

Me : I was expecting a spectrum of feelings to be exhibited, but I guess the artist only wanted to concentrate on joy. Is it weird that I was looking for darker emotions?
Lj : Ah, some thoughts to ponder !
Me : Well, I must say I was disappointed.
Lj : As the title goes, 'believe in what you feel'.
Me : Haha

Sunday, September 06, 2015

Believe in what you feel - Wang Te-Yu

"Different people react to my works in different ways.Once you go inside, you can feel the spaces shifting as you interact with them.
It helps one understand the essence of space via manipulation of air,” - Wang Te-yu.

Friday, September 04, 2015

Yesterday, a photo of a 3-year-old boy named Aylan Kurdi and his 5-year-old brother, Rihan, who were washed up on the beach in one of Turkey’s prime tourist resorts, went viral across many social media platforms. The pictures showed a little boy wearing a bright red t-shirt and shorts lying face-down in the surf on a beach near the resort town of Bodrum. In a second image, a grim-faced policeman carries the body away.

Artists from all over the world have instantly responded, they started to share amazing tributes to the widely seen photo of Aylan. Above is from khalid albaih

Wednesday, September 02, 2015

It's really weird.
For the past few days, I have this 'tidak apa' nonchalant attitude towards a few coworkers.
They're not nice people and I'm done trying to be nice to them.
I'm done being the eager beaver.
Basically, I'm ignoring them.
They must have noticed the behavioral change too.

First came the compliments, the small talks.
No reaction.
No way I'm playing this game again.

Then, the caring gestures, the gifts.
Thank you.
Looking for exit.

I'm not kidding when I say this place is toxic.
Some people here are really messed up.
I'm leaving.

Tuesday, September 01, 2015

How Emotionally Intelligent People Handle Toxic People

By Dr. Travis Bradberry, taken entirely from

Toxic people defy logic. Some are blissfully unaware of the negative impact that they have on those around them, and others seem to derive satisfaction from creating chaos and pushing other people’s buttons. Either way, they create unnecessary complexity, strife, and worst of all stress.

Studies have long shown that stress can have a lasting, negative impact on the brain. Exposure to even a few days of stress compromises the effectiveness of neurons in the hippocampus—an important brain area responsible for reasoning and memory. Weeks of stress cause reversible damage to neuronal dendrites (the small “arms” that brain cells use to communicate with each other), and months of stress can permanently destroy neurons. Stress is a formidable threat to your success—when stress gets out of control, your brain and your performance suffer.

Most sources of stress at work are easy to identify. If your non-profit is working to land a grant that your organization needs to function, you’re bound to feel stress and likely know how to manage it. It’s the unexpected sources of stress that take you by surprise and harm you the most.

Recent research from the Department of Biological and Clinical Psychology at Friedrich Schiller University in Germany found that exposure to stimuli that cause strong negative emotions—the same kind of exposure you get when dealing with toxic people—caused subjects’ brains to have a massive stress response. Whether it’s negativity, cruelty, the victim syndrome, or just plain craziness, toxic people drive your brain into a stressed-out state that should be avoided at all costs.

The ability to manage your emotions and remain calm under pressure has a direct link to your performance. TalentSmart has conducted research with more than a million people, and we’ve found that 90% of top performers are skilled at managing their emotions in times of stress in order to remain calm and in control. One of their greatest gifts is the ability to neutralize toxic people. Top performers have well-honed coping strategies that they employ to keep toxic people at bay.

While I’ve run across numerous effective strategies that successful people employ when dealing with toxic people, what follows are twelve of the best. To deal with toxic people effectively, you need an approach that enables you, across the board, to control what you can and eliminate what you can’t. The important thing to remember is that you are in control of far more than you realize.

They Set Limits (Especially with Complainers)

Complainers and negative people are bad news because they wallow in their problems and fail to focus on solutions. They want people to join their pity party so that they can feel better about themselves. People often feel pressure to listen to complainers because they don’t want to be seen as callous or rude, but there’s a fine line between lending a sympathetic ear and getting sucked into their negative emotional spiral.

You can avoid this only by setting limits and distancing yourself when necessary. Think of it this way: if the complainer were smoking, would you sit there all afternoon inhaling the second-hand smoke? You’d distance yourself, and you should do the same with complainers. A great way to set limits is to ask complainers how they intend to fix the problem. They will either quiet down or redirect the conversation in a productive direction.

They Don’t Die in the Fight

Successful people know how important it is to live to fight another day, especially when your foe is a toxic individual. In conflict, unchecked emotion makes you dig your heels in and fight the kind of battle that can leave you severely damaged. When you read and respond to your emotions, you’re able to choose your battles wisely and only stand your ground when the time is right.

They Rise Above

Toxic people drive you crazy because their behavior is so irrational. Make no mistake about it; their behavior truly goes against reason. So why do you allow yourself to respond to them emotionally and get sucked into the mix?

The more irrational and off-base someone is, the easier it should be for you to remove yourself from their traps. Quit trying to beat them at their own game. Distance yourself from them emotionally and approach your interactions like they’re a science project (or you’re their shrink, if you prefer the analogy). You don’t need to respond to the emotional chaos—only the facts.

They Stay Aware of Their Emotions

Maintaining an emotional distance requires awareness. You can’t stop someone from pushing your buttons if you don’t recognize when it’s happening. Sometimes you’ll find yourself in situations where you’ll need to regroup and choose the best way forward. This is fine and you shouldn’t be afraid to buy yourself some time to do so.

Think of it this way—if a mentally unstable person approaches you on the street and tells you he’s John F. Kennedy, you’re unlikely to set him straight. When you find yourself with a coworker who is engaged in similarly derailed thinking, sometimes it’s best to just smile and nod. If you’re going to have to straighten them out, it’s better to give yourself some time to plan the best way to go about it.

They Establish Boundaries

This is the area where most people tend to sell themselves short. They feel like because they work or live with someone, they have no way to control the chaos. This couldn’t be further from the truth. Once you’ve found your way to Rise Above a person, you’ll begin to find their behavior more predictable and easier to understand. This will equip you to think rationally about when and where you have to put up with them and when you don’t. For example, even if you work with someone closely on a project team, that doesn’t mean that you need to have the same level of one-on-one interaction with them that you have with other team members.

You can establish a boundary, but you’ll have to do so consciously and proactively. If you let things happen naturally, you are bound to find yourself constantly embroiled in difficult conversations. If you set boundaries and decide when and where you’ll engage a difficult person, you can control much of the chaos. The only trick is to stick to your guns and keep boundaries in place when the person tries to encroach upon them, which they will.

They Won’t Let Anyone Limit Their Joy

When your sense of pleasure and satisfaction are derived from the opinions of other people, you are no longer the master of your own happiness. When emotionally intelligent people feel good about something that they’ve done, they won’t let anyone’s opinions or snide remarks take that away from them.

While it’s impossible to turn off your reactions to what others think of you, you don’t have to compare yourself to others, and you can always take people’s opinions with a grain of salt. That way, no matter what toxic people are thinking or doing, your self-worth comes from within. Regardless of what people think of you at any particular moment, one thing is certain—you’re never as good or bad as they say you are.

They Don’t Focus on Problems—Only Solutions

Where you focus your attention determines your emotional state. When you fixate on the problems you’re facing, you create and prolong negative emotions and stress. When you focus on actions to better yourself and your circumstances, you create a sense of personal efficacy that produces positive emotions and reduces stress.

When it comes to toxic people, fixating on how crazy and difficult they are gives them power over you. Quit thinking about how troubling your difficult person is, and focus instead on how you’re going to go about handling them. This makes you more effective by putting you in control, and it will reduce the amount of stress you experience when interacting with them.

They Don’t Forget

Emotionally intelligent people are quick to forgive, but that doesn’t mean that they forget. Forgiveness requires letting go of what’s happened so that you can move on. It doesn’t mean you’ll give a wrongdoer another chance. Successful people are unwilling to be bogged down unnecessarily by others’ mistakes, so they let them go quickly and are assertive in protecting themselves from future harm.

They Squash Negative Self-Talk

Sometimes you absorb the negativity of other people. There’s nothing wrong with feeling bad about how someone is treating you, but your self-talk (the thoughts you have about your feelings) can either intensify the negativity or help you move past it. Negative self-talk is unrealistic, unnecessary, and self-defeating. It sends you into a downward emotional spiral that is difficult to pull out of. You should avoid negative self-talk at all costs.

They Limit Their Caffeine Intake

Drinking caffeine triggers the release of adrenaline. Adrenaline is the source of the “fight-or-flight” response, a survival mechanism that forces you to stand up and fight or run for the hills when faced with a threat. The fight-or-flight mechanism sidesteps rational thinking in favor of a faster response. This is great when a bear is chasing you, but not so great when you’re surprised in the hallway by an angry coworker.

They Get Some Sleep

I’ve beaten this one to death over the years and can’t say enough about the importance of sleep to increasing your emotional intelligence and managing your stress levels. When you sleep, your brain literally recharges, shuffling through the day’s memories and storing or discarding them (which causes dreams), so that you wake up alert and clear-headed. Your self-control, attention, and memory are all reduced when you don’t get enough—or the right kind—of sleep. Sleep deprivation raises stress hormone levels on its own, even without a stressor present.

A good night’s sleep makes you more positive, creative, and proactive in your approach to toxic people, giving you the perspective you need to deal effectively with them.

They Use Their Support System

It’s tempting, yet entirely ineffective, to attempt tackling everything by yourself. To deal with toxic people, you need to recognize the weaknesses in your approach to them. This means tapping into your support system to gain perspective on a challenging person. Everyone has someone at work and/or outside work who is on their team, rooting for them, and ready to help them get the best from a difficult situation. Identify these individuals in your life and make an effort to seek their insight and assistance when you need it. Something as simple as explaining the situation can lead to a new perspective. Most of the time, other people can see a solution that you can’t because they are not as emotionally invested in the situation.

Bringing It All Together

Before you get this system to work brilliantly, you’re going to have to pass some tests. Most of the time, you will find yourself tested by touchy interactions with problem people. Thankfully, the plasticity of the brain allows it to mold and change as you practice new behaviors, even when you fail. Implementing these healthy, stress-relieving techniques for dealing with difficult people will train your brain to handle stress more effectively and decrease the likelihood of ill effects.
Taken from why don't you try this website
1. Pain In Your Head 
Pain in your head, like headaches and migraines, can be triggered by the stresses of day to day life. Dr. Christina Peterson says that “Stress and emotional triggers are common migraine triggers.” 
Your headaches may just be the result of taking on too much in your day-to-day life. Unnecessary stress can be the cause of that thumping in your skull. Taking time out to relax today may be the best solution. Maybe even head to a spa for the day to let all that unwanted tension disappear. 

2. Pain In Your Neck 
Pain in your neck may be an indication of having trouble with forgiveness of others, or even yourself. Lori D'Ascenzo, Reiki practitioner and expert in kinesiology, says that “Your neck is where you hold guilt and self-recrimination.” Pain in your neck may mean you are having trouble forgiving yourself and that you are judging yourself too harshly. 
Now might be a great time to make a list of all the things you love about yourself. If you are feeling guilty about something you've done to someone else, now would be the perfect time to apologize and clear the air. Loving yourself and finding forgiveness may be the actual keys to this pain in the neck. 

3. Pain In Your Shoulders 
Pain in your shoulders may indicate that you're carrying a real emotional burden. Professional kinesiologist Ros Kitson says that “Our shoulders are where we carry our burdens. We talk about ‘shouldering a problem' and this is exactly what we're doing when our shoulders tense up and cause us pain.” 
This may be the perfect time to let the problem solving fall to someone else for a change. If you are taking on more than your fair share of the burden at work, it may just be time to let your co-worker know you need a little help. 

4. Pain In Your Upper Back 
Pain in your upper back may indicate that you're coping with a lack of emotional support. Self-help author and life coach Ronda Degaust, says that “The upper back has to do with feeling the lack of emotional support. You may feel unloved or you may be holding back your love from someone else.” This would probably be a great time to reach out to loved ones and strengthen those relationships. If you're single, it might even be a good time to jump head first into the dating scene. A little bit of love may just go a long way with that upper back pain. 

5. Pain In Your Lower Back 
Lower back pain may mean you're worrying too much about money, or lacking in emotional support. Dr. Mark W. Tong, who has a doctorate in natural healing, says “Money and financial [issues] can be tied to back pain.” Similar to the lack of emotional support causing upper back pain, the lack of financial support may be putting unnecessary strain on your lower back. This may be a good time to ask for that overdue raise at work. You might even want to reevaluate your spending habits so you aren't putting stress on yourself when the bills arrive each month.

6. Pain In Your Elbows
Pain in your elbows has a lot to do with resisting changes in your life. Dr. Alan Fogel writes in Psychology Today, “All emotions have a motor component.” When it comes to elbow pain, the soreness may have more to do with your own resistance to change than it does to bumping your funny bone. Stiffness in the elbow may mean you are being too stubborn or “stiff” in your daily life. This might be the perfect time to compromise with your partner over an ongoing argument. Maybe try out that new coffee place your friend has been suggesting.
Change and compromise may just be your new best friends. 

7. Pain In Your Hands 
With your hands, you reach out to others and connect. If you're feeling hand pain, it could mean that you're not reaching out enough. Lori D'Ascenzo, Reiki practitioner and expert in kinesiology, says that “Hands reach out to others. Are you stifling your need to reach out and connect with others?” An inability to connect with others may be the cause of that palm pain. Working on making new friends might be your best path moving forward. Maybe it's time to make an effort to meet the new neighbors. Maybe have lunch with a co-worker rather than dining alone. Connections may just be the key. 

8. Pain In Your Hips 
Sore hips could be a sign that you're too resistant to changes and moves. It may also show a caution toward making decisions. Self-help guru and founder of Beyond Affirmations Barbara Clark writes, “Fear of movement can manifest as stiffness or pain in the hips – fear of moving into our future or of a change in the direction of our lives.” Your sore hips may just be a sign that you are resistant to moving forward or making major decisions. This may be the time to open that new business you've been thinking about — or maybe write that book that you've always wanted to write. Moving forward may be the key to releasing you from hip pain. 

9. Pain In The Knees 
Knee pain can be a lot of different things, but it can be a sign of a big ego. Lawrence Michail, writer about traditional Chinese medicine and acupuncture, says “Briefly, knee problems may be said to indicate being stuck in the Ego, too proud to bend.” You may be giving yourself too much credit right now and that may be getting in your way. Chronic knee pain may be a result of an overactive ego. Now might be a good time to practice being humble. Maybe give credit for a job well done to a co-worker. You may need to resist the urge to brag if you want that soreness to alleviate. 

10. Pain In Your Calves 
Calf pain is likely triggered by emotional tension of some kind. Dr. Laura Perry writes on her blog, “Trigger points in the calf muscles are also very likely to become activated by stress or emotional tension.” In this case specifically, jealousy and resentment may be causing the emotional tension behind your calf pain. This might be a good time to let go of old grudges and jealousies. Jealousy may be causing your sore calves, but it is also likely keeping you from appreciating what you have. Let it go! 

11. Pain In The Ankles Pain in your ankles may be a sign that you're depriving yourself of pleasure. Author Jill Douglas, writes in her book My “Plane” Truth, that “Ankles represent the ability to receive pleasure.” Self-help guru Kathy Hadley writes the exact same thing verbatim. For some reason you may be resisting the more pleasurable aspects of life and this may be the cause of your chronic ankle pain. Now might be a good time to indulge yourself a little more. Maybe give your sweet tooth a treat and pick up some dark chocolate. You may even want to spice up your romantic life a bit. Pleasure may finally defeat pain! 

12. Pain In Your Feet 
When you're depressed, you might feel some foot pain. 
Dr. Adaobi Anyeji, a California-based clinical psychologist says that “When one is depressed, they often have negative self talk that contributes to… bodily discomfort and exacerbates already present physical conditions.” Too much negativity and not enough joy may be what is causing that chronic foot pain. Aside from literally kicking up your feet to give them a break, you may want to try letting go of those negative feelings you are holding onto. Appreciate and enjoy the little things. A more joyful life may soon take the place of a more painful life.