I have mental illness. Mind clarity is rare, too briefly and often too late. Old friends and acquaintances would look away when they see me. Yup, that unpopular. Of course, I get angry and hurt but deep down, I know I’d do the same too, if I saw 'me'. That’s the icy cold papercut truth. The illness cuts even deeper. I thank you for your readership. Your presence here makes me feel less alone. This blog helps me remember my true worth as a person, and how my own mind threatens it.
Friday, February 03, 2006
Written on Train
I regret not keeping all my writings from my past. Upon clearing my old files, I found a little piece of spiral notebook paper with my illegible scribblings on it.
Sitting on this train, the view reminds me
The good times I had with you aplenty
But I have to put them far from my heart
For reliving them, tears me apart
The promise I made and broke
Together with my dreams it took
How my heart aches you'll never know
For you have gone, I heard so
I congratulate you, you earn it, you worked hard,
I knew you had what it takes, I knew from the start
Oh no! Here's the KL train station
The same place where I was filled with exhilaration
You and I are like the interchange at KL Central
You went to university and I'm left to dawdle
Would you believe that I had cried uncontrollably
When I found out that to see you, there's no possibility
I write this down to put away
But along with the memories it will stay
This was written back in year 2002, May. I was on the commuter train.
Affections have changed of course, but the nostalgic feeling remains.
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