blink blink

I opened my eyes.
Blink. Blink.
Only after awhile I realized that I’m awake.
Blink. Blink.
What day it is, what did I last do before I fell asleep?

I shut my eyes, hoping to fall back into peaceful slumber.
But it was impossible.

Then I recall that I have been suffering from sleep anxiety for years.
For many years I have been wishing never to wake up.
Each morning.
How I have wished that I could have more of my peaceful slumber.
How my heart would drum upon each wake.
How I would mumble prayers and serene motivational quotes to myself.
Nothing worked.
Not even scientific medication.