If I were to be Hollywood-ise

Many times when I was asked to describe how I felt back in the dark times, I struggled with words.
The words DEPRESSED, ANXIOUS, WORRIED,INSOMNIAC, NAUSEAUS, SUICIDAL hardly came close to the horror I felt in the year of 2004/5.

Of course I did try to make myself better, but no motivational tactics were effective.
Knowing what I know now, I wished I had taken more extreme measures.
I should have seeked counselling and medical help earlier.

Then again, there are no 'IFs' in history.

Winston Churchill described his struggle like a black dog constantly following him.
The movie A BEAUTIFUL MIND had illustrate John Nash's struggles by using 3 'living people' who constantly follows him.
In my case, if I can describe my dark experience ala Hollywood style, the person who followed me is somewhat like below.

**for illustration only. No demonic connotation intended**

What followed me definitely was no black puppy.
Look at this picture and you'd understand better that advice like, " Try to be more positive" is no help whatsoever.

Now, it's a light shadow that is constantly behind me.