I have mental illness. Mind clarity is rare, too briefly and often too late. Old friends and acquaintances would look away when they see me. Yup, that unpopular. Of course, I get angry and hurt but deep down, I know I’d do the same too, if I saw 'me'. That’s the icy cold papercut truth. The illness cuts even deeper. I thank you for your readership. Your presence here makes me feel less alone. This blog helps me remember my true worth as a person, and how my own mind threatens it.
Friday, October 15, 2010
I'm a very sentimental person.
Whenever I come across old things, I will take notice of the date and imagine that specific period of time.
I will ask myself, "What was I doing then?"
The nostalgic feeling is even stronger when I come across with my own old writings.
It's very personal.
The moment I see my style of handwriting, I would be able to decipher, in a heartbeat, my emotional state at that time it was written.
Not that neat handwriting means good.
Nor messy handwriting means bad.
It was the way I had slanted my words, how I curled my 'Y's and 'G's, how much gap I had left in between my words, how big I had circled my'A's and 'O's and how hard I had pressed my words.
My handwritings had scripted my mood very accurately during the time it was written, as clear as crystal.
They expressed my feelings better than any words I could have used.
That's why it's important for me to WRITE my journals the good old fashioned way.
=)
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