I've been in consistent facebook chats with CLY.
It's really flattering that I'm showered with this kind of attention.
There was a time where I had sent him a litany of nonsensical playful messages.
His reply was as usual, immediate, but this time, merely a brief 'OK'.
I felt a bit disappointed.
I thought, "Ok, maybe he's not into this kind of frivolous communication. Or maybe he's just not that into me" - you know, the usual over-thinking stuff.
Two hours later, he replied again.
This time, in a litany of similar nonsensical playful messages.
I was grinning from ear to ear.
Immediately, I sensed a warning light in me.
OMG. Do you really like this guy that much? Or just the attention?
My friend M encouraged me,
"Enjoy it
Get to know him
don't put unnecessary pressure on yourself.also, you know what, if anyone deserves good things in their life...it is you.
you absolutely deserve to be happy
don't be afraid of it
but do, be careful of expectations....it is the root of all evil sometimes I think
don't expect too much
that way you don't get so affected if things didn't turn out the way you expected it to be."
I'm also reminded by this anonymous comment that was left in my post long time ago,
"Just be who you are, try work towards who you want to be and if love and a partner comes your way.. It would be crazy (and by this, I mean CRAZY) to pass it up. Hope is great. Can't live without hope. I feel however, it's expectations we can sort of live without. Keep up the amazing work teasips!"
CYL commented on my name 的意思是希望所有的疼愛,幸福,美好都集于妳的身上.
May all the love, happiness, and beauty be blessed upon you.
Damn !
Monday, March 31, 2014
Saturday, March 29, 2014
5 THOUGHTS THAT WILL MAKE YOU INSTANTLY HAPPIER
1. THIS TOO SHALL PASS.
When we’re in the throes of a powerful emotion or situation, life can feel bleak and hopeless. When life pushes you down — whether you’re dealing with a broken heart, a bruised ego, or an embarrassment — you can counter any thoughts coming up with this one thought:
This too shall pass.
This thought takes the permanence out of the negative emotion or situation and creates space to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Grow your wisdom: Life is in a constant state of flux, and everything will pass.
2. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
It’s common to get our feet stuck in deep and dark mental places. In dealing with disease, divorce, death or downsizing, it’s easy to become consumed by your grief, and it’s easy to feel like no one has ever felt as bad as you might feel right now. Guess what? Someone else has — practically every living being has felt that exact emotion at one time or another.
You are never alone.
Emotions are like storms; no matter how dark and turbulent, they’ll clear and sunny skies will rise again.
3. OTHER PEOPLE HAVE GOOD INTENTIONS.
It’s easy to think the worst of others. I’m guilty of this, but really it’s just my own mind being pessimistic and negative. This pessimism set me off into an unpleasant mental spin.
Try thinking of others in a positive light.
Assume that they have good intentions. Appreciate and savor your relationships and the love you have to give and receive from others.
4. THERE’S A BRIGHT SIDE TO EVERY SITUATION.
Changing your perspective can do wonders for your mood and for the mood of those around you. Let’s say you begrudgingly must spend the day driving to a distant appointment; instead of grumbling the entire way there, look on the bright side. It might be a beautiful day for a drive! Enjoy the fresh air and listen to some music.
There’s always a bright side.
So find it and drive out those negative thoughts. Happiness is here right now. In fact it’s never been anywhere else but here. Clear the dark storm clouds and rediscover the bright blue sky waiting underneath.
Now smile. It’s not so bad.
5. SLOW DOWN AND BREATHE.
Actually, say this aloud in your head over and over throughout the day.
Slow down and just breathe.
We need this constant reminder. Focus on one thing at a time try to infuse each moment with your attention and presence. Without conscious breathing your life will become riddled with anxiety and turmoil. Make your day a moving meditation.
When we’re in the throes of a powerful emotion or situation, life can feel bleak and hopeless. When life pushes you down — whether you’re dealing with a broken heart, a bruised ego, or an embarrassment — you can counter any thoughts coming up with this one thought:
This too shall pass.
This thought takes the permanence out of the negative emotion or situation and creates space to see the light at the end of the tunnel. Grow your wisdom: Life is in a constant state of flux, and everything will pass.
2. YOU ARE NOT ALONE.
It’s common to get our feet stuck in deep and dark mental places. In dealing with disease, divorce, death or downsizing, it’s easy to become consumed by your grief, and it’s easy to feel like no one has ever felt as bad as you might feel right now. Guess what? Someone else has — practically every living being has felt that exact emotion at one time or another.
You are never alone.
Emotions are like storms; no matter how dark and turbulent, they’ll clear and sunny skies will rise again.
3. OTHER PEOPLE HAVE GOOD INTENTIONS.
It’s easy to think the worst of others. I’m guilty of this, but really it’s just my own mind being pessimistic and negative. This pessimism set me off into an unpleasant mental spin.
Try thinking of others in a positive light.
Assume that they have good intentions. Appreciate and savor your relationships and the love you have to give and receive from others.
4. THERE’S A BRIGHT SIDE TO EVERY SITUATION.
Changing your perspective can do wonders for your mood and for the mood of those around you. Let’s say you begrudgingly must spend the day driving to a distant appointment; instead of grumbling the entire way there, look on the bright side. It might be a beautiful day for a drive! Enjoy the fresh air and listen to some music.
There’s always a bright side.
So find it and drive out those negative thoughts. Happiness is here right now. In fact it’s never been anywhere else but here. Clear the dark storm clouds and rediscover the bright blue sky waiting underneath.
Now smile. It’s not so bad.
5. SLOW DOWN AND BREATHE.
Actually, say this aloud in your head over and over throughout the day.
Slow down and just breathe.
We need this constant reminder. Focus on one thing at a time try to infuse each moment with your attention and presence. Without conscious breathing your life will become riddled with anxiety and turmoil. Make your day a moving meditation.
Friday, March 28, 2014
Thursday, March 27, 2014
Just when I was feeling lost at how I, as a Malaysian should respond to this MH 370 tragedy, local author Kee Thuan Chye sums up very nicely,
"If we were to remain quiet, we will be endorsing mediocrity, stupidity and wrong. And the world will think that we, too, are mediocre, stupid and wrong."
"If we were to remain quiet, we will be endorsing mediocrity, stupidity and wrong. And the world will think that we, too, are mediocre, stupid and wrong."
People get angry because they are hurting, they are not at ease.
But if we are happy, we can never get angry at someone else; it is only when we are depressed, tired, frustrated, having a hard time; when we have got some sickness in our hearts, that is when we can get angry at other people.
So when someone is angry at me I feel compassion and kindness towards that person, because I realise that they are hurting.
Ajahn Brahmavamso
Perth, Western Australia
1990
But if we are happy, we can never get angry at someone else; it is only when we are depressed, tired, frustrated, having a hard time; when we have got some sickness in our hearts, that is when we can get angry at other people.
So when someone is angry at me I feel compassion and kindness towards that person, because I realise that they are hurting.
Ajahn Brahmavamso
Perth, Western Australia
1990
Tuesday, March 25, 2014
Today I am surprised by two incidents.
Incident One.
At lunch, LC was gleefully sharing her frustration over a guy who wouldn't reciprocate her feelings.
“I’ve tried everything! Lunch invitations, outing invitations, occasional messages...He’s the perfect guy ! He had the right manners, intelligence, was easy on the eyes ...”
She threw her hands up in the air. She continued describing this prince charming of hers.
By the time, she was finished, she was playfully pouting.
I thought it was a very cute sight and I was laughing.
I’ve never seen this side of LC.
For the first time, she dared to confess her feelings over a guy.
For the first time, I’m seeing a very girlie, adorable high school version of LC.
Incident two.
YL told me she can’t make plans with me for dinner as she has to be home right after work to visit her brother in the hospital.
“OMG, is he alright?”.
“He has an infection due to dialysis.” I had to continue to ask her, “Dialysis? What’s wrong with his kidneys?”
By then I realised she didn’t plan to tell so much, but because of her earlier verbal slip, she was now somewhat obliged to.
As she continued to share her personal family struggles, I emotionally gasped at her brother’s hardship.
I hope I didn’t make her feel uncomfortable.
Incident One.
At lunch, LC was gleefully sharing her frustration over a guy who wouldn't reciprocate her feelings.
“I’ve tried everything! Lunch invitations, outing invitations, occasional messages...He’s the perfect guy ! He had the right manners, intelligence, was easy on the eyes ...”
She threw her hands up in the air. She continued describing this prince charming of hers.
By the time, she was finished, she was playfully pouting.
I thought it was a very cute sight and I was laughing.
I’ve never seen this side of LC.
For the first time, she dared to confess her feelings over a guy.
For the first time, I’m seeing a very girlie, adorable high school version of LC.
Incident two.
YL told me she can’t make plans with me for dinner as she has to be home right after work to visit her brother in the hospital.
“OMG, is he alright?”.
“He has an infection due to dialysis.” I had to continue to ask her, “Dialysis? What’s wrong with his kidneys?”
By then I realised she didn’t plan to tell so much, but because of her earlier verbal slip, she was now somewhat obliged to.
As she continued to share her personal family struggles, I emotionally gasped at her brother’s hardship.
I hope I didn’t make her feel uncomfortable.
Monday, March 24, 2014
18 Struggles Only Over-Thinkers Will Understand
By BRIANNA WIEST
1. Your need to find meaning in everything usually culminates into crafting conspiracy theories about what the period placement in a text means.
2. You end up making every situation in your life about 100x more difficult than it has to be.
3. You cannot let anything go, because you’re convinced that if you just run over the details a few more times, you’ll finally uncover some new understanding of the situation or it will somehow change the outcome.
4. You’ve probably never been sure about a thing in your life. You’ve approached everything from choosing a school and a partner to your outfit in the morning and brand of bread at the grocery store with equal levels of angst.
5. You could get a Master’s degree in interpreting what the song lyrics people post really mean.
6. Though your critical thinking skills are pretty on point, the toughest reality you’ve had to come to terms with is the fact that, simply, not everything has a deeper, secret, hidden meaning that everyone knows but you.
7. You’re constantly thanking the friends who stick around to hear you mull over the same details of a situation or relationship again and again, and though you never really arrive at a different conclusion, just the act of overthinking is enough for you.
8. Constantly having to consult your other friends with screenshots and vivid details of any chance occurrence in your life is daily routine for you.
9. It doesn’t matter what word someone used, if there’s any way you can spin it to mean something more, you will. You’ll take the fourth definition of it in the dictionary, apply it to your worst trait and spend the rest of the day reeling.
10. You are known to regret texts, hesitate over writing emails, delete and re-write tweets, all because you could and should have said something other than what you did and will.
11. Your hangover after a night out drinking is nothing compared to the fear of what you could have said to that one person you’d rather die than act like an idiot around while drunk.
12. Sleep is the most difficult aspect of your life, because laying silently in the dark is the only time you aren’t distracted enough to not be able to sink into racing thoughts.
13. You convince yourself that the worst case scenario will come true in basically, y’know, any scenario.
14. Social media is a minefield for you. You are certain every subtweet has something to do with you, even if it’s from a stranger, that so-and-so used that emoji because they’re flirting with the love of your life and so on and so forth.
15. If someone ever breaks up with you/declines to go out with you, you convince yourself it’s because of a hundred inconsequential missteps you made.
16. You often find yourself proudly stating to your friends that you “figured out” what someone “really meant” by something, only to have them laugh and say “you are so overthinking this, I can’t even right now.”
17. You end up torturing yourself over every other banal side comment someone makes because obviously there is some meaning to be uncovered, it’s clearly just a matter of thinking about it until you find it.
18. God forbid anyone unfollow you on Twitter or Instagram, because you won’t sleep until you figure out who it was and why.
1. Your need to find meaning in everything usually culminates into crafting conspiracy theories about what the period placement in a text means.
2. You end up making every situation in your life about 100x more difficult than it has to be.
3. You cannot let anything go, because you’re convinced that if you just run over the details a few more times, you’ll finally uncover some new understanding of the situation or it will somehow change the outcome.
4. You’ve probably never been sure about a thing in your life. You’ve approached everything from choosing a school and a partner to your outfit in the morning and brand of bread at the grocery store with equal levels of angst.
5. You could get a Master’s degree in interpreting what the song lyrics people post really mean.
6. Though your critical thinking skills are pretty on point, the toughest reality you’ve had to come to terms with is the fact that, simply, not everything has a deeper, secret, hidden meaning that everyone knows but you.
7. You’re constantly thanking the friends who stick around to hear you mull over the same details of a situation or relationship again and again, and though you never really arrive at a different conclusion, just the act of overthinking is enough for you.
8. Constantly having to consult your other friends with screenshots and vivid details of any chance occurrence in your life is daily routine for you.
9. It doesn’t matter what word someone used, if there’s any way you can spin it to mean something more, you will. You’ll take the fourth definition of it in the dictionary, apply it to your worst trait and spend the rest of the day reeling.
10. You are known to regret texts, hesitate over writing emails, delete and re-write tweets, all because you could and should have said something other than what you did and will.
11. Your hangover after a night out drinking is nothing compared to the fear of what you could have said to that one person you’d rather die than act like an idiot around while drunk.
12. Sleep is the most difficult aspect of your life, because laying silently in the dark is the only time you aren’t distracted enough to not be able to sink into racing thoughts.
13. You convince yourself that the worst case scenario will come true in basically, y’know, any scenario.
14. Social media is a minefield for you. You are certain every subtweet has something to do with you, even if it’s from a stranger, that so-and-so used that emoji because they’re flirting with the love of your life and so on and so forth.
15. If someone ever breaks up with you/declines to go out with you, you convince yourself it’s because of a hundred inconsequential missteps you made.
16. You often find yourself proudly stating to your friends that you “figured out” what someone “really meant” by something, only to have them laugh and say “you are so overthinking this, I can’t even right now.”
17. You end up torturing yourself over every other banal side comment someone makes because obviously there is some meaning to be uncovered, it’s clearly just a matter of thinking about it until you find it.
18. God forbid anyone unfollow you on Twitter or Instagram, because you won’t sleep until you figure out who it was and why.
Sunday, March 23, 2014
He asked me out via Facebook chat.
"If you're free tomorrow night, maybe we can have dinner together?"
I was grinning from ear to ear.
To be fair, I did give out very positive signals to him as I had prompted 3 Facebook chats with him last week.
I was so happy that I immediately shared this news with M, which followed by my thoughts about him - which were tremendously silly and too embarrassing for me to share them here.
M replied, "I think you're crazy. Can you stop with the shite? Just take it easy and have fun, get to know him and enjoy his company.
Chill babe.
Just do like u do this all the time"
I replied, "OMG, you're right. I don't know what I'm saying."
"You sound creepy to me already. So imagine how you would sound if you brought that up. No self sabotaging okayyyy Don't talk too fast or too much okay."
"Yeah, I think that's how I sabotaged the first one."
"I knowwwww..
Imma gonna slap u if u do it again this time.."
A very well needed and deserved bitch slap to wake me.
Ah.... good friends...they know just what you need.
"If you're free tomorrow night, maybe we can have dinner together?"
I was grinning from ear to ear.
To be fair, I did give out very positive signals to him as I had prompted 3 Facebook chats with him last week.
I was so happy that I immediately shared this news with M, which followed by my thoughts about him - which were tremendously silly and too embarrassing for me to share them here.
M replied, "I think you're crazy. Can you stop with the shite? Just take it easy and have fun, get to know him and enjoy his company.
Chill babe.
Just do like u do this all the time"
I replied, "OMG, you're right. I don't know what I'm saying."
"You sound creepy to me already. So imagine how you would sound if you brought that up. No self sabotaging okayyyy Don't talk too fast or too much okay."
"Yeah, I think that's how I sabotaged the first one."
"I knowwwww..
Imma gonna slap u if u do it again this time.."
A very well needed and deserved bitch slap to wake me.
Ah.... good friends...they know just what you need.
Saturday, March 22, 2014
YL was trying to find out why am I over-thinking about that guy.
"Just go out with that guy and find out how you / he feels about each other. And please, just both of you this time?"
I tried to explain the reasons of my reluctance, I was entirely truthful but I left out the biggest truth. (we're not that close, yet)
The big truthful part - that I've always struggled with depression, and I worry that getting into a relationship might just be the worst idea.
I even told her the most embarrassing part, that I've never even had a boyfriend before.
She was surprised and bluntly asked, "Are you gay?"
To be honest, I was very flattered by this question.
In my interpretation, she must have thought I was single all my life because I was struggling with my sexuality?
It never occur to her that the reason may simply be that I wasn't deemed desirable for girlfriend material?
Wow.
Snicker.
Last night, LC texted me to encourage me to ask him out.
I think he must have left a very good impression, coz LC thinks he's a catch.
But she wouldn't date him because he's shorter than her, that's her reason, or so she said.
You know what I think?
I think I need more productive topics to discuss with my friends and colleagues.
This is way...too 'high school'.
=)
"Just go out with that guy and find out how you / he feels about each other. And please, just both of you this time?"
I tried to explain the reasons of my reluctance, I was entirely truthful but I left out the biggest truth. (we're not that close, yet)
The big truthful part - that I've always struggled with depression, and I worry that getting into a relationship might just be the worst idea.
I even told her the most embarrassing part, that I've never even had a boyfriend before.
She was surprised and bluntly asked, "Are you gay?"
To be honest, I was very flattered by this question.
In my interpretation, she must have thought I was single all my life because I was struggling with my sexuality?
It never occur to her that the reason may simply be that I wasn't deemed desirable for girlfriend material?
Wow.
Snicker.
Last night, LC texted me to encourage me to ask him out.
I think he must have left a very good impression, coz LC thinks he's a catch.
But she wouldn't date him because he's shorter than her, that's her reason, or so she said.
You know what I think?
I think I need more productive topics to discuss with my friends and colleagues.
This is way...too 'high school'.
=)
Thursday, March 20, 2014
Ok.
I must be out of my mind.
Am I thinking clearly?
Am I being rational?
Coz I'm seriously considering inviting this guy out for a drink.
OMG.
My palms are cold.
What am I doing?
I must be out of my mind.
Am I thinking clearly?
Am I being rational?
Coz I'm seriously considering inviting this guy out for a drink.
OMG.
My palms are cold.
What am I doing?
30 Things to Start Doing for Yourself
1.Start spending time with the right people. – These are the people you enjoy, who love and appreciate you, and who encourage you to improve in healthy and exciting ways. They are the ones who make you feel more alive, and not only embrace who you are now, but also embrace and embody who you want to be, unconditionally.
2.Start facing your problems head on. – It isn’t your problems that define you, but how you react to them and recover from them. Problems will not disappear unless you take action. Do what you can, when you can, and acknowledge what you’ve done. It’s all about taking baby steps in the right direction, inch by inch. These inches count, they add up to yards and miles in the long run.
3.Start being honest with yourself about everything. – Be honest about what’s right, as well as what needs to be changed. Be honest about what you want to achieve and who you want to become. Be honest with every aspect of your life, always. Because you are the one person you can forever count on. Search your soul, for the truth, so that you truly know who you are. Once you do, you’ll have a better understanding of where you are now and how you got here, and you’ll be better equipped to identify where you want to go and how to get there. Read The Road Less Traveled.
4.Start making your own happiness a priority. – Your needs matter. If you don’t value yourself, look out for yourself, and stick up for yourself, you’re sabotaging yourself. Remember, it IS possible to take care of your own needs while simultaneously caring for those around you. And once your needs are met, you will likely be far more capable of helping those who need you most.
5.Start being yourself, genuinely and proudly. – Trying to be anyone else is a waste of the person you are. Be yourself. Embrace that individual inside you that has ideas, strengths and beauty like no one else. Be the person you know yourself to be – the best version of you – on your terms. Above all, be true to YOU, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.
6.Start noticing and living in the present. – Right now is a miracle. Right now is the only moment guaranteed to you. Right now is life. So stop thinking about how great things will be in the future. Stop dwelling on what did or didn’t happen in the past. Learn to be in the ‘here and now’ and experience life as it’s happening. Appreciate the world for the beauty that it holds, right now.
7.Start valuing the lessons your mistakes teach you. – Mistakes are okay; they’re the stepping stones of progress. If you’re not failing from time to time, you’re not trying hard enough and you’re not learning. Take risks, stumble, fall, and then get up and try again. Appreciate that you are pushing yourself, learning, growing and improving. Significant achievements are almost invariably realized at the end of a long road of failures. One of the ‘mistakes’ you fear might just be the link to your greatest achievement yet.
8.Start being more polite to yourself. – If you had a friend who spoke to you in the same way that you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would you allow that person to be your friend? The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others. You must love who you are or no one else will.
9.Start enjoying the things you already have. – The problem with many of us is that we think we’ll be happy when we reach a certain level in life – a level we see others operating at – your boss with her corner office, that friend of a friend who owns a mansion on the beach, etc. Unfortunately, it takes awhile before you get there, and when you get there you’ll likely have a new destination in mind. You’ll end up spending your whole life working toward something new without ever stopping to enjoy the things you have now. So take a quiet moment every morning when you first awake to appreciate where you are and what you already have.
10.Start creating your own happiness. – If you are waiting for someone else to make you happy, you’re missing out. Smile because you can. Choose happiness. Be the change you want to see in the world. Be happy with who you are now, and let your positivity inspire your journey into tomorrow. Happiness is often found when and where you decide to seek it. If you look for happiness within the opportunities you have, you will eventually find it. But if you constantly look for something else, unfortunately, you’ll find that too. Read Stumbling on Happiness.
11.Start giving your ideas and dreams a chance. – In life, it’s rarely about getting a chance; it’s about taking a chance. You’ll never be 100% sure it will work, but you can always be 100% sure doing nothing won’t work. Most of the time you just have to go for it! And no matter how it turns out, it always ends up just the way it should be. Either you succeed or you learn something. Win-Win.
12.Start believing that you’re ready for the next step. – You are ready! Think about it. You have everything you need right now to take the next small, realistic step forward. So embrace the opportunities that come your way, and accept the challenges – they’re gifts that will help you to grow.
13.Start entering new relationships for the right reasons. – Enter new relationships with dependable, honest people who reflect the person you are and the person you want to be. Choose friends you are proud to know, people you admire, who show you love and respect – people who reciprocate your kindness and commitment. And pay attention to what people do, because a person’s actions are much more important than their words or how others represent them.
14.Start giving new people you meet a chance. – It sounds harsh, but you cannot keep every friend you’ve ever made. People and priorities change. As some relationships fade others will grow. Appreciate the possibility of new relationships as you naturally let go of old ones that no longer work. Trust your judgment. Embrace new relationships, knowing that you are entering into unfamiliar territory. Be ready to learn, be ready for a challenge, and be ready to meet someone that might just change your life forever.
15.Start competing against an earlier version of yourself. – Be inspired by others, appreciate others, learn from others, but know that competing against them is a waste of time. You are in competition with one person and one person only – yourself. You are competing to be the best you can be. Aim to break your own personal records.
16.Start cheering for other people’s victories. – Start noticing what you like about others and tell them. Having an appreciation for how amazing the people around you are leads to good places – productive, fulfilling, peaceful places. So be happy for those who are making progress. Cheer for their victories. Be thankful for their blessings, openly. What goes around comes around, and sooner or later the people you’re cheering for will start cheering for you.
17.Start looking for the silver lining in tough situations. – When things are hard, and you feel down, take a few deep breaths and look for the silver lining – the small glimmers of hope. Remind yourself that you can and will grow stronger from these hard times. And remain conscious of your blessings and victories – all the things in your life that are right. Focus on what you have, not on what you haven’t.
18.Start forgiving yourself and others. – We’ve all been hurt by our own decisions and by others. And while the pain of these experiences is normal, sometimes it lingers for too long. We relive the pain over and over and have a hard time letting go. Forgiveness is the remedy. It doesn’t mean you’re erasing the past, or forgetting what happened. It means you’re letting go of the resentment and pain, and instead choosing to learn from the incident and move on with your life.
19.Start helping those around you. – Care about people. Guide them if you know a better way. The more you help others, the more they will want to help you. Love and kindness begets love and kindness. And so on and so forth.
20.Start listening to your own inner voice. – If it helps, discuss your ideas with those closest to you, but give yourself enough room to follow your own intuition. Be true to yourself. Say what you need to say. Do what you know in your heart is right.
21.Start being attentive to your stress level and take short breaks.– Slow down. Breathe. Give yourself permission to pause, regroup and move forward with clarity and purpose. When you’re at your busiest, a brief recess can rejuvenate your mind and increase your productivity. These short breaks will help you regain your sanity and reflect on your recent actions so you can be sure they’re in line with your goals.
22.Start noticing the beauty of small moments. – Instead of waiting for the big things to happen – marriage, kids, big promotion, winning the lottery – find happiness in the small things that happen every day. Little things like having a quiet cup of coffee in the early morning, or the delicious taste and smell of a homemade meal, or the pleasure of sharing something you enjoy with someone else, or holding hands with your partner. Noticing these small pleasures on a daily basis makes a big difference in the quality of your life.
23.Start accepting things when they are less than perfect. – Remember, ‘perfect’ is the enemy of ‘good.’ One of the biggest challenges for people who want to improve themselves and improve the world is learning to accept things as they are. Sometimes it’s better to accept and appreciate the world as it is, and people as they are, rather than to trying to make everything and everyone conform to an impossible ideal. No, you shouldn’t accept a life of mediocrity, but learn to love and value things when they are less than perfect.
24.Start working toward your goals every single day. – Remember, the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. Whatever it is you dream about, start taking small, logical steps every day to make it happen. Get out there and DO something! The harder you work the luckier you will become. While many of us decide at some point during the course of our lives that we want to answer our calling, only an astute few of us actually work on it. By ‘working on it,’ I mean consistently devoting oneself to the end result. Read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
25.Start being more open about how you feel. – If you’re hurting, give yourself the necessary space and time to hurt, but be open about it. Talk to those closest to you. Tell them the truth about how you feel. Let them listen. The simple act of getting things off your chest and into the open is your first step toward feeling good again.
26.Start taking full accountability for your own life. – Own your choices and mistakes, and be willing to take the necessary steps to improve upon them. Either you take accountability for your life or someone else will. And when they do, you’ll become a slave to their ideas and dreams instead of a pioneer of your own. You are the only one who can directly control the outcome of your life. And no, it won’t always be easy. Every person has a stack of obstacles in front of them. But you must take accountability for your situation and overcome these obstacles. Choosing not to is choosing a lifetime of mere existence.
27.Start actively nurturing your most important relationships. – Bring real, honest joy into your life and the lives of those you love by simply telling them how much they mean to you on a regular basis. You can’t be everything to everyone, but you can be everything to a few people. Decide who these people are in your life and treat them like royalty. Remember, you don’t need a certain number of friends, just a number of friends you can be certain of.
28.Start concentrating on the things you can control. – You can’t change everything, but you can always change something. Wasting your time, talent and emotional energy on things that are beyond your control is a recipe for frustration, misery and stagnation. Invest your energy in the things you can control, and act on them now.
29.Start focusing on the possibility of positive outcomes. – The mind must believe it CAN do something before it is capable of actually doing it. The way to overcome negative thoughts and destructive emotions is to develop opposing, positive emotions that are stronger and more powerful. Listen to your self-talk and replace negative thoughts with positive ones. Regardless of how a situation seems, focus on what you DO WANT to happen, and then take the next positive step forward. No, you can’t control everything that happens to you, but you can control how you react to things. Everyone’s life has positive and negative aspects – whether or not you’re happy and successful in the long run depends greatly on which aspects you focus on. Read The How of Happiness.
30.Start noticing how wealthy you are right now. – Henry David Thoreau once said, “Wealth is the ability to fully experience life.” Even when times are tough, it’s always important to keep things in perspective. You didn’t go to sleep hungry last night. You didn’t go to sleep outside. You had a choice of what clothes to wear this morning. You hardly broke a sweat today. You didn’t spend a minute in fear. You have access to clean drinking water. You have access to medical care. You have access to the Internet. You can read. Some might say you are incredibly wealthy, so remember to be grateful for all the things you do have.
Taken from http://www.trulymind.com/30-things-to-start-doing-for-yourself/
2.Start facing your problems head on. – It isn’t your problems that define you, but how you react to them and recover from them. Problems will not disappear unless you take action. Do what you can, when you can, and acknowledge what you’ve done. It’s all about taking baby steps in the right direction, inch by inch. These inches count, they add up to yards and miles in the long run.
3.Start being honest with yourself about everything. – Be honest about what’s right, as well as what needs to be changed. Be honest about what you want to achieve and who you want to become. Be honest with every aspect of your life, always. Because you are the one person you can forever count on. Search your soul, for the truth, so that you truly know who you are. Once you do, you’ll have a better understanding of where you are now and how you got here, and you’ll be better equipped to identify where you want to go and how to get there. Read The Road Less Traveled.
4.Start making your own happiness a priority. – Your needs matter. If you don’t value yourself, look out for yourself, and stick up for yourself, you’re sabotaging yourself. Remember, it IS possible to take care of your own needs while simultaneously caring for those around you. And once your needs are met, you will likely be far more capable of helping those who need you most.
5.Start being yourself, genuinely and proudly. – Trying to be anyone else is a waste of the person you are. Be yourself. Embrace that individual inside you that has ideas, strengths and beauty like no one else. Be the person you know yourself to be – the best version of you – on your terms. Above all, be true to YOU, and if you cannot put your heart in it, take yourself out of it.
6.Start noticing and living in the present. – Right now is a miracle. Right now is the only moment guaranteed to you. Right now is life. So stop thinking about how great things will be in the future. Stop dwelling on what did or didn’t happen in the past. Learn to be in the ‘here and now’ and experience life as it’s happening. Appreciate the world for the beauty that it holds, right now.
7.Start valuing the lessons your mistakes teach you. – Mistakes are okay; they’re the stepping stones of progress. If you’re not failing from time to time, you’re not trying hard enough and you’re not learning. Take risks, stumble, fall, and then get up and try again. Appreciate that you are pushing yourself, learning, growing and improving. Significant achievements are almost invariably realized at the end of a long road of failures. One of the ‘mistakes’ you fear might just be the link to your greatest achievement yet.
8.Start being more polite to yourself. – If you had a friend who spoke to you in the same way that you sometimes speak to yourself, how long would you allow that person to be your friend? The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others. You must love who you are or no one else will.
9.Start enjoying the things you already have. – The problem with many of us is that we think we’ll be happy when we reach a certain level in life – a level we see others operating at – your boss with her corner office, that friend of a friend who owns a mansion on the beach, etc. Unfortunately, it takes awhile before you get there, and when you get there you’ll likely have a new destination in mind. You’ll end up spending your whole life working toward something new without ever stopping to enjoy the things you have now. So take a quiet moment every morning when you first awake to appreciate where you are and what you already have.
10.Start creating your own happiness. – If you are waiting for someone else to make you happy, you’re missing out. Smile because you can. Choose happiness. Be the change you want to see in the world. Be happy with who you are now, and let your positivity inspire your journey into tomorrow. Happiness is often found when and where you decide to seek it. If you look for happiness within the opportunities you have, you will eventually find it. But if you constantly look for something else, unfortunately, you’ll find that too. Read Stumbling on Happiness.
11.Start giving your ideas and dreams a chance. – In life, it’s rarely about getting a chance; it’s about taking a chance. You’ll never be 100% sure it will work, but you can always be 100% sure doing nothing won’t work. Most of the time you just have to go for it! And no matter how it turns out, it always ends up just the way it should be. Either you succeed or you learn something. Win-Win.
12.Start believing that you’re ready for the next step. – You are ready! Think about it. You have everything you need right now to take the next small, realistic step forward. So embrace the opportunities that come your way, and accept the challenges – they’re gifts that will help you to grow.
13.Start entering new relationships for the right reasons. – Enter new relationships with dependable, honest people who reflect the person you are and the person you want to be. Choose friends you are proud to know, people you admire, who show you love and respect – people who reciprocate your kindness and commitment. And pay attention to what people do, because a person’s actions are much more important than their words or how others represent them.
14.Start giving new people you meet a chance. – It sounds harsh, but you cannot keep every friend you’ve ever made. People and priorities change. As some relationships fade others will grow. Appreciate the possibility of new relationships as you naturally let go of old ones that no longer work. Trust your judgment. Embrace new relationships, knowing that you are entering into unfamiliar territory. Be ready to learn, be ready for a challenge, and be ready to meet someone that might just change your life forever.
15.Start competing against an earlier version of yourself. – Be inspired by others, appreciate others, learn from others, but know that competing against them is a waste of time. You are in competition with one person and one person only – yourself. You are competing to be the best you can be. Aim to break your own personal records.
16.Start cheering for other people’s victories. – Start noticing what you like about others and tell them. Having an appreciation for how amazing the people around you are leads to good places – productive, fulfilling, peaceful places. So be happy for those who are making progress. Cheer for their victories. Be thankful for their blessings, openly. What goes around comes around, and sooner or later the people you’re cheering for will start cheering for you.
17.Start looking for the silver lining in tough situations. – When things are hard, and you feel down, take a few deep breaths and look for the silver lining – the small glimmers of hope. Remind yourself that you can and will grow stronger from these hard times. And remain conscious of your blessings and victories – all the things in your life that are right. Focus on what you have, not on what you haven’t.
18.Start forgiving yourself and others. – We’ve all been hurt by our own decisions and by others. And while the pain of these experiences is normal, sometimes it lingers for too long. We relive the pain over and over and have a hard time letting go. Forgiveness is the remedy. It doesn’t mean you’re erasing the past, or forgetting what happened. It means you’re letting go of the resentment and pain, and instead choosing to learn from the incident and move on with your life.
19.Start helping those around you. – Care about people. Guide them if you know a better way. The more you help others, the more they will want to help you. Love and kindness begets love and kindness. And so on and so forth.
20.Start listening to your own inner voice. – If it helps, discuss your ideas with those closest to you, but give yourself enough room to follow your own intuition. Be true to yourself. Say what you need to say. Do what you know in your heart is right.
21.Start being attentive to your stress level and take short breaks.– Slow down. Breathe. Give yourself permission to pause, regroup and move forward with clarity and purpose. When you’re at your busiest, a brief recess can rejuvenate your mind and increase your productivity. These short breaks will help you regain your sanity and reflect on your recent actions so you can be sure they’re in line with your goals.
22.Start noticing the beauty of small moments. – Instead of waiting for the big things to happen – marriage, kids, big promotion, winning the lottery – find happiness in the small things that happen every day. Little things like having a quiet cup of coffee in the early morning, or the delicious taste and smell of a homemade meal, or the pleasure of sharing something you enjoy with someone else, or holding hands with your partner. Noticing these small pleasures on a daily basis makes a big difference in the quality of your life.
23.Start accepting things when they are less than perfect. – Remember, ‘perfect’ is the enemy of ‘good.’ One of the biggest challenges for people who want to improve themselves and improve the world is learning to accept things as they are. Sometimes it’s better to accept and appreciate the world as it is, and people as they are, rather than to trying to make everything and everyone conform to an impossible ideal. No, you shouldn’t accept a life of mediocrity, but learn to love and value things when they are less than perfect.
24.Start working toward your goals every single day. – Remember, the journey of a thousand miles begins with one step. Whatever it is you dream about, start taking small, logical steps every day to make it happen. Get out there and DO something! The harder you work the luckier you will become. While many of us decide at some point during the course of our lives that we want to answer our calling, only an astute few of us actually work on it. By ‘working on it,’ I mean consistently devoting oneself to the end result. Read The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People.
25.Start being more open about how you feel. – If you’re hurting, give yourself the necessary space and time to hurt, but be open about it. Talk to those closest to you. Tell them the truth about how you feel. Let them listen. The simple act of getting things off your chest and into the open is your first step toward feeling good again.
26.Start taking full accountability for your own life. – Own your choices and mistakes, and be willing to take the necessary steps to improve upon them. Either you take accountability for your life or someone else will. And when they do, you’ll become a slave to their ideas and dreams instead of a pioneer of your own. You are the only one who can directly control the outcome of your life. And no, it won’t always be easy. Every person has a stack of obstacles in front of them. But you must take accountability for your situation and overcome these obstacles. Choosing not to is choosing a lifetime of mere existence.
27.Start actively nurturing your most important relationships. – Bring real, honest joy into your life and the lives of those you love by simply telling them how much they mean to you on a regular basis. You can’t be everything to everyone, but you can be everything to a few people. Decide who these people are in your life and treat them like royalty. Remember, you don’t need a certain number of friends, just a number of friends you can be certain of.
28.Start concentrating on the things you can control. – You can’t change everything, but you can always change something. Wasting your time, talent and emotional energy on things that are beyond your control is a recipe for frustration, misery and stagnation. Invest your energy in the things you can control, and act on them now.
29.Start focusing on the possibility of positive outcomes. – The mind must believe it CAN do something before it is capable of actually doing it. The way to overcome negative thoughts and destructive emotions is to develop opposing, positive emotions that are stronger and more powerful. Listen to your self-talk and replace negative thoughts with positive ones. Regardless of how a situation seems, focus on what you DO WANT to happen, and then take the next positive step forward. No, you can’t control everything that happens to you, but you can control how you react to things. Everyone’s life has positive and negative aspects – whether or not you’re happy and successful in the long run depends greatly on which aspects you focus on. Read The How of Happiness.
30.Start noticing how wealthy you are right now. – Henry David Thoreau once said, “Wealth is the ability to fully experience life.” Even when times are tough, it’s always important to keep things in perspective. You didn’t go to sleep hungry last night. You didn’t go to sleep outside. You had a choice of what clothes to wear this morning. You hardly broke a sweat today. You didn’t spend a minute in fear. You have access to clean drinking water. You have access to medical care. You have access to the Internet. You can read. Some might say you are incredibly wealthy, so remember to be grateful for all the things you do have.
Taken from http://www.trulymind.com/30-things-to-start-doing-for-yourself/
Monday, March 17, 2014
“People usually consider walking on water or in thin air a miracle.
But I think the real miracle is not to walk either on water or in thin air, but to walk on earth.
Every day we are engaged in a miracle which we don't even recognize: a blue sky, white clouds, green leaves, the black, curious eyes of a child -- our own two eyes.
But I think the real miracle is not to walk either on water or in thin air, but to walk on earth.
Every day we are engaged in a miracle which we don't even recognize: a blue sky, white clouds, green leaves, the black, curious eyes of a child -- our own two eyes.
All is a miracle.” ~Thích Nhất Hạnh
Friday, March 14, 2014
Woo Hoo !
I was invited to the stage again during Zumba !
Still very much inspired by Stephanie's energy, I gave it all my best !
Oh ! By the way, I haven't seen her again since then. = (
(*actually a wailing emoticon is more suitable but I don't know one)
I really love how Zumba is teaching me to let loose and just move it - move it.
Never mind if I don't look good in my moves.
What matters most is that I FEEL good.
I was still rocking the Zumba moves in the gym shower...
yeah, I felt THAT good...
I was invited to the stage again during Zumba !
Still very much inspired by Stephanie's energy, I gave it all my best !
Oh ! By the way, I haven't seen her again since then. = (
(*actually a wailing emoticon is more suitable but I don't know one)
I really love how Zumba is teaching me to let loose and just move it - move it.
Never mind if I don't look good in my moves.
What matters most is that I FEEL good.
I was still rocking the Zumba moves in the gym shower...
yeah, I felt THAT good...
Thursday, March 13, 2014
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
Tuesday, March 11, 2014
Was at hot yoga class.
Was struggling with the 'boat' pose.
I can't make my back straight while making sure that my legs are 45 degrees straight too.
The instructor came over to hold my legs.
The moment he let go, my legs dropped and made a loud 'thud' sound.
Two of my gym friends laughed.
It was really pleasing to hear them laugh.
I laughed too.
For me, it is evidence that our relationship is close enough that they feel comfortable laughing at my silliness. (Asians tend to be more reserve for fear of offending others)
As always, it's great to hear laughter.
Monday, March 10, 2014
Doing the right thing meant turning his back on a successful career in the movie business, with his $1 million salary. Instead, he would dedicate himself full time to a new mission: to save hundreds of the poorest children in one of the world's poorest countries.
Much to everyone's surprise, within months the Australian native, who as president of 20th Century Fox International had overseen the global success of block-busters like "Titanic," "Braveheart," and "Die Another Day," quit Hollywood. He sold his mansion in Los Angeles and held a garage sale for "all the useless stuff I owned." He sold off his Porsche and yacht, too.
His sole focus would now be his charity, the Cambodian Children's Fund, which he had set up the previous year after coming face to face, while on vacation in Cambodia, with children living at the garbage dump.
"The perks in Hollywood were good – limos, private jets, gorgeous girlfriends, going to the Academy Awards," says Neeson, an affable man with careworn features and a toothy smile. "But it's not about what lifestyle I'd enjoy more when I can make life better for hundreds of children."
He sits at his desk barefoot, Cambodian-style, in white canvas pants and a T-shirt. At times he even sounds like a Buddhist monk. "You've got to take the ego out of it," he says. "One person's self-indulgence versus the needs of hundreds of children, that's the moral equation."
Houy and Heang were among the first who started that journey with him in 2004. Abandoned by their parents, the two sisters, now 17 and 18, lived at the dump in a makeshift tent.
"We felt sick and had no shoes. Our feet hurt," Houy recalls in the fluent English she's learned. "We'd never seen a foreigner," Heang adds. "He asked us, 'Do you want to study?' "
Today the sisters are about to graduate from high school. They want to go on to college.
Neeson maintains four residential homes around town for more than 500 other deprived children and is building another. He operates after-school programs and vocational training centers. He's built day cares and nurseries.
His charity provides some 500 children with three meals a day and runs a bakery where disadvantaged youths learn marketable skills while making nutrient-rich pastry for the poorest kids. It pays for well over 1,000 children's schooling and organizes sightseeing trips and sports days for them.
Taken from DailyGood
Sunday, March 09, 2014
Woo Hoo ! Look what I found in my email !
Thank goodness it didn't go into spam.
Maddie has left a new comment on your post.
This is really sweet. I'm a blogger too, and I know how hard it is to get followers. Your blog is incredible and completely different from most blogs I see. Your inspirational messages really brightened my day when I flipped on here. I want to say thank you, and to keep posting. You seem like a really special person, and I hope the world sees more of you.
Thank goodness it didn't go into spam.
Maddie has left a new comment on your post.
This is really sweet. I'm a blogger too, and I know how hard it is to get followers. Your blog is incredible and completely different from most blogs I see. Your inspirational messages really brightened my day when I flipped on here. I want to say thank you, and to keep posting. You seem like a really special person, and I hope the world sees more of you.
Thursday, March 06, 2014
Wednesday, March 05, 2014
Zhu Jingke works as a math teacher in a Jiangliu primary school in Anhui Province, and has held his position for 35 years, despite having ankylosing spondylitis, a severe back condition. Zhu cannot stand up straight or sleep lying down, but that hasn't stopped him from traveling 35 kilometers to school each day and teaching a full course load.
Students always set up a special stool for him, which was originally one student's special gift to the teacher.
"What I fear most is the blackboard," Zhu says. Because his waist is not straight, writing on the blackboard is extremely difficult, but he still chalks up the bottom of the board.
In 1988, after he has been teaching for 10 years, Zhu felt a dull pain in his waist during a day of teaching. He ignored it for the rest of the semester, but was eventually diagnosed with ankylosing spondylitis, a chronic bone disorder that chiefly affects the spine and pelvis.
After three months of treatment his condition did not seem any better, so Zhu took some painkillers and went back to the school. Since 1988, Zhu has taken painkillers every day to control the pain. "I've been sleeping on one side for the past 25 years; if I turn around while I'm sleeping, my back will hurt so badly that sometimes I even tie myself to the bed," he said.
"It will hurt even more if I just stay at home doing nothing. Teaching can pass the time and it helps me to relieve the pain." Zhu said, “I know my body won't keep up for too long, but just let me die on the platform, with a last sight of my students."
Tuesday, March 04, 2014
My neighbour lost her 14-year-old son very suddenly last year .
Something about a mysterious brain aneurysm took his life.
The news was too shocking.
Everyone in the neighbourhood knew the family.
They projected the 'perfect' household.
This morning, I saw the mother.
She had a really short hair cut and seemed to have aged dramatically.
We exchanged a few words.
As she walked away, I thought to myself, " Sigh. Life goes on..."
Something about a mysterious brain aneurysm took his life.
The news was too shocking.
Everyone in the neighbourhood knew the family.
They projected the 'perfect' household.
This morning, I saw the mother.
She had a really short hair cut and seemed to have aged dramatically.
We exchanged a few words.
As she walked away, I thought to myself, " Sigh. Life goes on..."
Monday, March 03, 2014
I watched Silver Linings Playbook and I thought it was OK.
I was warned NOT to watch movies related to mental illness but I really can't help it.
Hence, I rented The Beaver.
I was misled by the trailer thinking that it might be OK too.
It was depressing.
The ending was, "Everything is NOT going to be OK. But you're not alone".
.....................
Really?
That's just great.
.......................
Really expected more from two Academy Award Hollywood stars - Mel Gibson and Jodie Foster.
I was warned NOT to watch movies related to mental illness but I really can't help it.
Hence, I rented The Beaver.
I was misled by the trailer thinking that it might be OK too.
It was depressing.
The ending was, "Everything is NOT going to be OK. But you're not alone".
.....................
Really?
That's just great.
.......................
Really expected more from two Academy Award Hollywood stars - Mel Gibson and Jodie Foster.
Saturday, March 01, 2014
There's a new member in the Zumba class.
I didn't notice her until the instructor Maggie invited her to stage.
Boy can she move !!!
Besides her great moves, the energy in her is amazing !
It must be damn tiring to do what she did.
I don't know about the rest, but seeing the way she rocked, I definitely made more effort in my own moves.
Her energy is just too infectious.
It was great to witness such a great dancer, Stephanie.
After class, on our way out, I wanted to say something to her.
I think my mouth did opened, "Uh..." Then I missed the chance. Sigh.
I didn't notice her until the instructor Maggie invited her to stage.
Boy can she move !!!
Besides her great moves, the energy in her is amazing !
It must be damn tiring to do what she did.
I don't know about the rest, but seeing the way she rocked, I definitely made more effort in my own moves.
Her energy is just too infectious.
It was great to witness such a great dancer, Stephanie.
After class, on our way out, I wanted to say something to her.
I think my mouth did opened, "Uh..." Then I missed the chance. Sigh.
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