Do what everyone does.
Like the things they like, dislike the things they dislike.
Be happy, like everyone else.
Be normal like everyone else.
You say ''one day, I'm gonna be okay"
But you know there's something wrong.
But you're not sure it's inside or outside.
You hope it's neither, but you're certain there's something wrong.
No, there's nothing wrong- you tell yourself.
You say ''one day, I'm gonna be okay"
Don't be so self-conscious. Look at the world around you.
You are ok. Go on. Move on.
And then suddenly you realised the 'wrongness' in you become more obvious, because people around you say you're 'strange', not within the norm line.
You say ''one day, I'm gonna be okay"
You're an adult.
Then you tell yourself, I'm ok - I have my characteristics.
Suddenly there are days when you start palpitating.
A word you didn't understand till you experience it yourself.
Panic attacks.
You are experiencing symptoms of abnormal psychiatry.
Suddenly you fit into the characteristics of the 'mental' jokes you and your friends used to make.
Then, you take medication.
You say ''one day, I'm gonna be okay"
But the 'wrongness' in you never dissolve.
You realised you no longer have the will to live.
You've lost the one essence of survival.
Hope.
The ''one day, I'm gonna be okay" never came,
and only myself to blame.
1 comment:
I hate hope. It's the one thing in my life which keeps me dragging on. I've named my hope, Bob Hope. It's like Bob gets me so riled up about something, then I chase after it only to be dissapointed in the end that it was only a shadow. But Bob is a tease and I'm the fool. Cos really all these shadows I'm chasing who promises me some form of wholeness are only emitting themselves from me, cast upon the walls of my prison room. To end the tease I blow out the external light, turned off the light. Not all darkness is comforting, but this one is. If I stopped chasing or taking heed to these shadows' temptations; I guess I'd be ok.
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