my outlet

My psychiatrist told me that it's important for me to have an 'outlet' for all my negative energy.
She didn't quite believe me when I told her I have nobody to talk to.
NONE.
She couldn't believe what a loser I am.
I've tried explaining that all my life, I have been trying to make sense out of my life.
I tried to fit into my family,and into at least a handful of friends.
But obviously I have failed.

I'm tired.
Tired of reasoning.
Tired of justifying everything that has happened to me.
That's why I have not written nor read anything of quality for months.
I have given up.

"No,no... no... You try writing it all down into a piece of paper, then throw it away."

I kept quiet.
What? So, what difference does it make?
I just nod and left.
Wondering how long more I'd live.