Lied

Lately, there's another 'phrase' is playing in my head besides
"I'm a bad person''

"You lied''

I wondered why such thought kept playing in my head.
Oh yes, I have been fighting depression since I was 15.
Each time, I'd say to myself - "Ah... it'll be better."
I've told myself every single different version of optimism.

Before a few minutes ago, I didn't know I had lied