I have mental illness. People whom I used to know would look away if they see me. Yup, that unpopular. Of course I get angry and hurt but deep down, I know I’d do the same too, if I see 'me'. That’s the icy cold papercut truth. I thank you for your readership.Your presence here makes me feel less alone. This blog helps me remember who I am and the dangers that lurk inside of me
Wednesday, February 17, 2016
This post is long overdue.
Last week, I attempted suicide.
A very lame attempt actually.
I took 260 times of my usual dosage.
I knew I wasn't going to die.
Hardly anyone dies through legal drugs overdose - something I learnt through my pharmacist friend and also through the experiences of my previous acquaintances from the ward.
But I wanted to self-harm.
Also, I was hoping to be lucky ? Perhaps slip into a long sleep?
Jumping off the building would be too gory.
Too much mess, and I thought how traumatic it would be for others to see.
Hanging? Oh, the poor person who'd discover the body.
I remember looking at my stuff, just before I passed out.
I thought, gosh.... there's so much stuff for my friend or housemate to clear out.
There was however, ONE thing that made me felt a strong sense of waste.
I thought, "Shucks, pity I never gotten around to write about that fiction. "