I had a tele-conversation with Sw.
After a month of anti-depressants, I'm glad that she's finally feeling 'something'.
"I'm going to try the gym near the workplace, the one that you used to go, before you moved." she added.

I am very happy for her.

This morning was bad,
"There is no place for people like you"
"What's the point of fighting? You know it's a lifetime battle."
Darkness was very strong.

During lunch, I joined in the conversation and got quite friendly.
The moment I stopped talking, I feared.
"What just happened?" I wondered.
You would never guess I am the same person who had to fight off the above dark thoughts just hours ago.
I wasn't faking it.
I am fighting it.
I was merely trying to 'survive'.
I need companionship / friends to live on.
And I can't be visually depressed if I want that.

Breathe...
I must find the balance..