Monday, June 02, 2014

Below is the excerpt of a post that was written more than a year ago for a yoga blog.
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I will never forget my first enlightening Shavasana experience. It was during my first ‘serious’ yoga session. I was terribly unfit back then and had to try real hard to keep up with the other more experienced practitioners. When it was time for Shavasana, I basically ‘collapsed’ on the floor. Suddenly, I felt a tear dropped at the side of my ear, but I wasn’t sobbing.

I realised that I was releasing negative energy; pent-up sorrow which I didn’t even knew I had. I had a mental image of a lost little girl at the bus stop. I saw the situation that I was in back then clearly. I could see what was causing my unhappiness and what I needed to do to move on and be kinder to myself. 
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During one of those Shavasana rest last week, I 'saw' CLY's FB messenger icon on 'active' mode.
I was disappointed that that should appear.
Perhaps my subconscious mind was trying to point out to me that my attachment with CLY was merely a gateway illusion that I had created to fill the void in my life?
Anyway,
I had another moment of clarity during my workout this evening.
As I was dancing Zumba halfheartedly, a memory came to mind.
I was playing with my neighbours.
I was very eager to be accepted by the group and tried my hardest to be liked by them.
But there was a brat who punched me in the nose because he lost a match between us.
My tears were streaming down due to the pain and yet, I stayed on because I still wanted to play with them.
But no one was in the mood to play with that brat anymore.
So, I walked back home, in pain and disappointed that playtime ended so soon.
This memory did give me some clarity.

It's time to let my heart return home.

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