I was watching “Little Miss Sunshine”.
I laughed.
I smiled.
My brother couldn’t appreciate the movie at all.
He kept asking, “what’s so funny?”
”Why are you smiling at the tv?”
I didn’t reply.
I was too engrossed.
I couldn’t, anyway.

Just watched ‘Train Man’, the famous Japanese movie inspired by the true-story of a ‘otaku’- nerd, who got to know his girl-friend after an experience in the public commuter.
It’s odd that I enjoyed this movie much more compared to the ‘Warlords’, another movie which I rented along with ‘Train Man’.
Not that ‘Warlords’ isn’t a good movie, but I find myself in closer proximity with ‘Train Man’.
In the story, ‘Train Man’ put up his encounter with Miss Hermes on a public forum, from which many readers faithfully read and offer suggestions and support, just like how real life-friends would; if not better.

I guess the most touching part was how his story influenced his readers.
-A couple’s relationship improved

-3 guys decided to follow his example and do a make-over themselves

-A guy who hid himself in his room for months (hikikomori) decided to leave his room and took a bus, just to feel so sun.

-A lady nurse heartbreak’s was healed.

Isn’t it amazing how all of us are capable of changing the lives of others? More amazingly, we don’t realized we are doing so everyday, even in our most mundane tasks.

As I lie mindlessly,
I wonder what is there for me to be thankful for.
I began to recall some of my previous ‘emo’ writings.
I got my answer.

I’m thankful that I’m not numb.
I can still feel.
I am still hoping.

Just when I was feeling down.
Like I'm the most pathetic person ever lived.

"HELLO!"

Then, I become a whole different person and start chatting.
I need people around me, I guess

It’s always a good sign when I have the urge to write.
I faced the monster today.
It’s nothing like what I had feared it to be.
I had the power to make it disappear so easily.
Looking at it, made my eyes teary.

It has such great control over my life yet, I can’t put a finger to it.
It isn’t tangible.
I don’t understand it.
How am I going to fight it?
Sounds like a phobia.

I've been feeling really anxious lately.

Want to leave something here but have nothing really substantial to write about.

So here.

When inspiration comes,
I will write ferociously on any paper available.
Anybody who sees this will be curious.
I am always asked, “What are you writing about?”
It’s very difficult to answer.

1. My diary? – too personal.
2. Just my thoughts on something. – too emo.
3. Definitely not work. – coz there’s no money value

More curiously, WHY am I writing them down?

I really don’t know.

During the 3-day-camp by the beach in Kuantan, I befriended three really nice ‘aunties’.
I can’t help but wonder,
“Of all the women in this world, I had to have who I have as Mother.”

I know the saying, -what can’t break you, will make you stronger.
What if it DID break me?

My body is aching.
But my mind is clear.

The condition is now reversed.



***********************************
I really hate it when W deliberately speaks to me in English (although we speak Cantonese with each other) in the presence of the Chinese speaking friends.
She somehow thinks that it would impress them.
I always answer back in Cantonese and yet she never gets the hint. By the way, her English is bad!
Argh!!

Weird dream.
She was a close friend back in Form One.
Since our class separation in Form Two, our relationship was a merely "HELLO" if crossed paths at school corridor type of relationship.

But I dreamt of her last night.
We sat down and I told her what I've been up to.
She listened attentively.
When I asked her what she was doing,
her mouth opened but I coudn't understand the words.
It was English... but it didn't make sense.

When I woke up, I thought about my memories with her and recall upon an awful incident.
We were in her house for a Form One group project.
There were about 6 of us.
Suddenly, we heard a funny sound.
I was being smart-mouth and thought it would be funny to say,
"Hey, I didn't know you had a dog."
I didn't know it was her autistic younger brother who was wailing.
Although I was very sorry and embarrassed to have said such thing,
I was too stunt at the discovery to say "Sorry" to her.

It was an awful feeling.
That's why I can still vividly recall that incident.

I'M SORRY.

but it's too late now , isn't it?

Sometimes it's really hard to ignore the belief that certain things are PRE-Destined.

I was reading something when the lift stopped.
Being alone in the lift, naturally I thought it had stopped at MY floor .
Stepped out, only to my embarrassment that it isn't.
As I quickly turned around to catch the lift before the door closes,
someone called out my name.

I gave him the blurrest look ever.
How odd to see him there!
He felt the same too about seeing me.

--if I hadn't stepped out on the wrong floor...

Rereading this made me realise that the above post insinuates some kind of romantic coincidence. NO la!!
I just thought it's a funny tale to tell.

Do you remember February 1993 in England, when a young boy of 3 was taken from a Liverpool shopping centre by two 10-year-old boys?

Jamie Bulger walked away from his mother for only a second; Jon Venables took his hand and led him out of the mall with his friend Robert Thompson.
They took Jamie on a walk for over 2 and a half miles, along the way stopping every now and again to torture the poor little boy who was crying constantly for his mummy.
Finally they stopped at a railway track where they brutally kicked him, threw stones at him, rubbed paint in his eyes, pushed batteries up his anus and cut his fingers off with scissors. Other mutilations were inflicted but not reported in the press.

Remember, a 3year old cannot possibly defend themselves Against a 10 year old, let alone of 2 them
What these two boys did was so horrendous that Jamie's mother was forbidden to identify his body.
They then left his beaten small body on railway tracks so a train could run him over to hide the mess they had created. These two boys, even being boys, understood what they did was wrong, hence trying to make it look like an accident.

This week Lady Justice Butler-Sloss has awarded the two boys (now men ), anonymity for the rest of their lives when they leave custody with new identities. They will also leave custody early only serving just over half of their sentence.

They are being relocated to Australia to live out the rest of their lives.


They disgustingly and violently took Jamie's life away and in return they EACH get a new life!

Please.... . If you feel as strongly as we do, ( and if you haven't already signed this petition ) that this is a grave Miscarriage of justice.

- Hit the forward button and add your name at the end, and send it to everyone you can !

I received this via forwarded E-mail.
I didn't sign it.
I don't condone the crime, but I believe that everyone deserves a second chance.
They were only 10 years old.
We all make mistakes.
They have suffered the consequences.
Why push it further?
Let the person who hasn't sinned cast the first stone.

"Lama tak jumpa," - long time no see, said the Rojak/cendol hawker.

I gasped.

She remembers me?

I hardly stop by her stall.
At first , I thought it was just a friendly phrase to start conversations with customers, but she continued to query me about the things I did years ago.

She's not bluffing.

W-O-W

I was trying to ride the motorbike for the first time.
My sister gave me lessons about 8 years ago.
So, I know roughly how it runs.

My brother was explaining what I need to do, but I wasn’t really paying attention.

I very confidently, rode on it.
Toot, toot, toot… it went.

My brother ran after me,
“Wei! You know where the break is or not?”

Nope, I didn’t.

Anyway, it was such a liberating feeling.
Like driving the car for the first time.

/I'm now suffering the consequences of coffee.
My friend treated me to the Vietnamese dripping coffee.
I've always love the taste of coffee but I can't handle the effects.

ah... like all the other pleasures in life =P

LK is a very special friend.
We met in the hospital.
Both of us are fully aware that friends made in that ward never last.
That's why our friendship is very unique
Those stable wouldn't want to keep in touch because everyone wants that dark past to be erased from their life.
Those unstable, well... are unstable.

So, LK (whom I know is reading)... I treasure you very much.
Next round is on me.

Western.

I won't forget.

J was struggling to explain, “… it’s hard to describe her character. Erm, …she can be very generous and easy-going with issues that concern herself, but suddenly turns very sensitive and calculative when she deals with decisions concerning the entire group. "

J paused. It dawned on her.
“Oh, yeah. It’s called selfish.”

Nancy Gibbs, TIME Feb,18,2008

…It’s a holiday that has no idea of what it’s really celebrating…There’s nothing wrong, of course, with delighting in love and honoring friendship and stopping to tickle the people we love. But it’s also a good sign of psychosocial health if the day just saunters by and winks, and you feel no need to pay attention. The minute it feels like a duty, it has lost its purpose. “love sought is good,” Shakespeare observed, “but given unsought is better.”

I was approached by a 'volunteer'.
If what she said is true, I have donated Rm10 to the spastic center.

I share the common anxiety of whether 'charity' is really charity these days.

All I have is this to show.