Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Taken from Yvonne-Foong-Ming-Niang
At one of my talks few years ago, a youth asked me if I had ever considered ending it all. From her tone, I could guess that this student was suicidal. 
There was one point in my life when the environment surrounding me overwhelmed my heart so much I entertained the thought of numbing the pain with a knife. 
It was not because of NF and my health concerns. 
This happened before my diagnosis. It was caused by the everyday bitterness of people around me that weighed down my small shoulders. 
That was more than a decade ago. 
Even though I entertained the thought of ending it all, I never followed through with the act because I chose to persevere. 
A little more each time. 
Life is a gift. I have come so far in life - grown up safely after my father's stroke, learned to be independent, overcame so many obstacles and trials..
 To end it all is to throw all my efforts away. My years of effort fighting to live the best I can. It would be too easy to throw all that away in a split second. 
Is it worth committing suicide? No it Is not, not at all. 
I know that I will regret giving up my life. 
I did not want to regret. So I persevered. 
Day by day. Until that phase of my life came to pass. 
My heart and mind became stronger because I chose to persevere. 
To this day, even as Neurofibromatosis demands more from me, I still believe that life is a gift, as I have always thought from the beginning.

No comments: