"I can't afford another meltdown"
 - a self-warning to be careful as NOT to slip again.
I say this each time I seem to be recovering, seem to be getting back on my feet.
Each time I start a new job, when all seems so hopeful.

Yet, I still fall.

And when I'm down again in my darkest hole, the thought of giving all up, "I can't do this again" will be on replay.

And yet, here I am.
I'm still here.

I will climb back up again.
I will fall again.
I can do this.

Again.