This is so INSPIRATIONAL.
Taken from http://www.mrbrown.com/blog/2010/12/jerry-shows-us-what-grit-and-spirit-is-and-he-is-4-years-old.html

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4 year-old Jeremiah Liauw "Jerry" was born with spina bifida, a spinal defect which causes his lower body to be especially weak.
The Club Rainbow member's goal was to crawl his way to the finish line for the 750m Kids Dash event.

You can watch this video on Facebook.

Watching him finish what must have been a really tough 750m on his hands and knees in the hot sun was inspirational enough.

…Jerry wanted to crawl and refused to be carried when everyone was telling me to carry him coz for those of you who knows and are there, the weather was super duper hot and the ground was really radiating IMMENSE HEAT as it was approaching noon but Jerry kept diving for the ground.
If he could have it his way, he would not allow me to carry him at anytime at all. And a last note to share which may sound unbelieving to unbelievers, as I was changing Jerry yesterday, Jerry said, yes Jerry said, these are his exact words which took me aback too…
Jerry: "Actually when i saw the many people, I didn't want to crawl but God told me to crawl."
Me: "God told u to crawl?"
Jerry: "Yes. God told me to crawl."
Me: "Huh? What do you mean God told you to crawl?"
Jerry: "Yes, in my heart, I heard God's voice telling me to crawl."
Me: "Huh? you mean you heard God's voice?"
Jerry: "Yes. I heard God telling me to crawl."
Me: "Huh? What do you mean? How did you know it's God's voice?"
Jerry: "You will know it when He talks to you."
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The wonderful feeling I had in Penang is fading.
I'm very afraid that I'd soon forget what I had told myself.
I think very soon, I'd be the same old dark self again.

Was it the good feng shui?
How come I could THINK so clearly then?
I could remember who and what I am.


I wrote of something similar here

I've read this joke before yet, when I read it again today it was just as funny.

"A neurotic builds air castles, the psychotic lives in them, and the psychiatrist collects the rent."

**taken at sister's unit in Penang, morning**

I've always had anxiety problems, even as a little kid.
I remember that when I was here holidaying as a kid, I was always overly anxious about the day we had to go back to PJ.
I kept counting the days.

Of course, when the day came, my eyes will be teary.
I'd be very depressed for at least one week back home.
I clearly remember this scene where my aunt called us from Penang to ask how I was doing. When mother reported back that I'm like a sick kitten, my aunt said,
"Ah, yeah lar.. that girl has always been very emotionally fragile"

As an adult here in Penang now, I kept making comparisons of myself during my several previous stays, ranging from a kid to a teen.
Many past incidents were revived in my head.
Many of which had highlighted my character flaw, some more obvious indications than others.
Perhaps the peace that I enjoy here or I'm maturing (?);I'm beginning to feel somewhat more willing to take responsibility for the things that had gone wrong for me.

For the past few days here, my 'blame game' seemed to have dropped a few notches.
I feel ashamed.
Suddenly I feel a phrase from a movie about troubled teenagers, slapped unto my face.
The teacher in the movie yelled at the student,
"It's time you start taking responsibilities for yourself! No one questioned how difficult you had it, but we can't change that no more! But we can change what's coming!"- imagine this spoken with the African-American slang.

Backdated Post.
I was in 1 Utama, Petaling Jaya on 27th November and coincidentally famous TVB HongKong actress Bernice Liu Bik-Yee was there to promote a brand she endorsed.

I was so starstrucked!
She's so much prettier and slimmer in person!

I woke up very early this morning. Looking out at a beautiful morning Penang view.
Got so much thoughts in my head.

Read

Try to Remember Lyrics

here.

I'm here in Penang.
This place gives me so much peace and joy.
This is why.
click here for story one
click here for story two
click here for story three
click here for story four


This should have been my home

Yes, life will never stop surprising us. 

Just 10 minutes ago, I received a piece of very good advice from the most unlikely person. 

To be honest, I hated him. 

Moments ago, a student was disrespectfully confrontational towards me. She was accusing the library management to be incompetent. 

Her complaint didn't tally with her records shown on the computer system. Therefore, I tried to explain to her politely that she has gotten her facts wrong. 

But she stubbornly refused to even consider that possibility. "Why do I have to bear the consequences of your faulty system?!" 

I kept clicking the screen back and forth, showing her this book, that book, this date, that fine charges..etc.. She couldn't really understand the screen as she wasn't really paying attention. 

She just wanted to be right. After several more unreasonable accusations, she left. I was fuming with anger. 

He was seated just beside me and saw that I was very affected. 

But he didn’t say anything. Minutes later, I couldn’t keep my emotions inside my any longer. “I need special training to deal with this sort of things” 

“You need to learn not to be afraid. That student sensed that you were unsure of yourself and attacked you even more. Try looking at the student hard in the eye the next time.” He was right. 

I didn’t maintain an eye contact with her. 

Yes, I had allowed myself to be ‘attacked’. 

My necessary shield has always been absent, causing myself much distress. 

We all need our ‘shields’ for survival.

the WHAT IF-s

We ask ourselves this question all the time.
We all constantly wish that we could turn back time and change the present.

Two nights ago, I watched this Hong Kong movie, [Written By], and felt that the author must have been very depressively suicidal.
The story kept recounting the different versions of the past and present.
Obviously the author is very curious how life could have been IF things were different.
'Normal' people would find this movie very ridiculous as it's quite pointless, and don't possess the faintest entertainment value.
But being who I am, I do get it.
Nevertheless, I don't recommend this movie to anyone.
Depressed or not.
A bad movie is a bad movie.

Yesterday, I watched a much happier movie,, RAPUNZEL
And I was very taken by the Healing Incantation

Flower, Gleam and Glow
Let your power shine
Make the clock reverse, bring back what once was mine
Heal what has been hurt, change the fates design
Save what has been lost, bring back what once was mine
What once was mine...


I still ask myself, "WHAT IF I HAD BEEN 'NORMAL'?"

woo hoo! my birthday!

I find this picture very inspiring.
This picture reminds me that happiness can be found under any circumstances.
Even the simplest thing can be very blissful.

taken from Reader's Digest Sept 2007

a group of beggars take a break from business to enjoy tea together just outside the Shrine of Shah Amanat in Chittagong, Bangladesh, where a large percentage of people live in poverty.
"Begging as a group is particularly common," says Jashim Salam, who took the photograph. "They beg especially in front of shrines, marketplaces, and also at festivals and religious ceremonies." Salam says that although the beggars may be poor, he finds it heartening to see smiles on their faces as they go about their day.

There's this one student who always appear rather strange to me.
Each time she asks me a question, she has this zombie-like look on her face.
I find her to be quite 'lost' as her enquiries were never clear to me.

Today, I urged myself to strike a conversation with her.
"Are you okay? You looked rather stressed"

She gave a very lovely smile and answered,
"Do I? No, I'm ok."

I'm so glad I made that initiative.
She will no longer be known as the 'zombie girl' in my head.
She's now the 'lovely smile' girl.

Dear Thelma

Dear Thelma is a column in a local weekly where the readers can write in their personal problems and the columnist will try her( we presume it's HER) hardest to advise.

The author has different background from me but I feel strangely connected to this part,
"But my past still haunts me today and in my head I keep seeing a little girl screaming and crying."
"I feel like I’m walking in a dark lane, which is getting smaller. It’s so miserable being lonely"

to read more, click here

It was appraisal day.
While using the guide from HR dept, The Boss asked me
"Have you effectively utilised the resources available to you for better work productivity?"
I nodded.
He ticked the column on the paper.

In my mind,
"Yes. Everyday I make myself a cup of coffee, where the powder,creamer and sugar are provided by the company"

Thank God I don't think aloud.

=)

Hello artist,
You make the unknown seem familiar,
You look through me clearer than a mirror,

Your work speaks to me so tender,
That I’d stop all haste and relax to slumber,

You remind me that I’m not alone,
And I should once again trust the unknown,

Forgive and allow myself to be forgiven,
The surest way to feel the peace of heaven,

You sculptured beauty in suffering and pain,
Challenging me to hope once again,

You assure me that the world is much bigger,
And my existence is a mere brief linger

Thank you, Oh artist,
You may be a complete stranger,
But you are my perfect teacher.

I have serious insecurity issues. I question myself all the time. I ask myself these questions much too often.
"Why did I do/say that?" "Why can't I be more normal?" "Why can't I just blend in?" "Why can't I just relax?"

I feel more compared to the little that I know,
Isn't that plain ignorance, that I have nothing to show?

More often I'm in the dark that I'm in the light,
Though I've worked hard to be on the other side.

I understand sorrow better than I understand bliss,
Not by choice, but was sealed with fate's cruel kiss.

Tell me, oh divine TRUTH,
which part of me belongs to YOU?
What is left of me after my last hour is due?

I lost my faithful Oxford's Advanced Learner's Dictionary two years ago, and it's only until recently that I got a replacement.

I was reading HOW STARBUCKS SAVED MY LIFE by Michael Gates Gill and needed to check on a word.
Only then I came to realised that it has been ages since I've checked on a dictionary.

It occured to me that the last time I did such a thing was back when I was still considered 'normal', before I was branded an outcast.

So, now I'm thinking.
Am I making progress?