I think I really messed up.
I went to dinner with CLY and brought along YL.
Main reason is I bought too many coupons for the dinner and needed a 3rd person to help.
When I told my friends about this arrangement, everyone unanimously agreed that I'm giving out mixed signals and CLY might not like it.
I didn’t feel it was a serious faux pas until I saw that CLY was visibly disappointed upon arrival.
Unlike the previous appointments, he wasn't smiling this time.

I chatted with Mn + Cc about this today at lunch.
“I FB messaged him and for the first time, he didn't reply, despite having read it. (the seen indicator was on). This has never happened before. He always replies my messages immediately upon reading. He must be upset with me,” I pouted.
“Oh, you messaged him privately?” asked Cc.
“In a group message, with YL.”
“OMG!”**(thank goodness she didn't choke on her rice)
So, apparently, I have handled this CLY situation very badly.
I worry for myself as my judgement capability is so impaired, that I simply don't see what's wrong it.

During last night’s dinner, I was happy to see how YL and CLY were getting along well and had even imagined them as a couple.
I had viewed their Chinese zodiac and western horoscopes earlier.
They matched perfectly.
I did view mine with CLY’s too, we’re not too bad either.
So, what exactly am I doing?

These are the messages I’ve received from people who care for me.
“Don’t you feel you deserve happiness?”
 “It’s ok to feel afraid, but give both yourself and that guy a chance.” 
“Don’t do anything you’ll regret.” 
“Don’t overthink. Don’t underestimate the fact that you can and do deserve good things happening in your life.” ....and the most I've received, "OMG !" "OMG!"What were you thinking?!"
My sis asked me, "So,how do you feel about all this?"
I stared at my unreplied message.
My eyes are teary.

I recall my own words when the newly acquainted colleague wanted to introduce him to me.
I was super nervous.
I said, “I don’t know what I want. What I dare pursue. Not until I’m sure, I feel uncomfortable about this.”
I’m going to let the dogs lie as they are for now.