We do find what we seek.
I believe all of us are telling ourselves a story which we want to believe in.
This storyline becomes real to us, no matter how poorly our imagination had manufactured it.
One that is convenient to our conscience.
Or boost our self-importance, making us feel we matter.
One's desire can make one very foolish.
Desire can betray logic.
Even the wisest King Solomon was not spared the temptation.

In the movie "Beautiful Mind", Russell Crowe wanted to be regarded as a significant scientist and his troubled mind manufactured a storyline to appease his desire.
No doubt, schizophrenia had worsen the magnitude of this fabrication.

Guard your heart above all else, for it determines the course of your life. -Proverbs 4:23

I fear we are all living a lie.