The moment I said 'Goodnight' to CLY, I changed the his FB web setting on my computer.

I no longer want to see his icon on my chat list.

However, perhaps FB captured my frequent habitual chats with him and kept putting his icon below my chat list - under "These friends can't see you on chat".

Hence, against my will , I am updated on how long it was since he last logged into FB messenger -every time I glance on my chat list, which is very short actually.

Today, I discovered that FB has noticed we have not chat in a very long time and has finally removed his icon from my list.

Aah.....

BUT, 

it's a whole different ball game in my smartphone FB messenger.

I can't change the settings there unless I delete/block him.

I can't do that because he'll know and I need to pretend that I'm ok, and that he's no big deal.

Yup, pretend.

For some ungodly FB setting reasons, CLY remains top of my FB friends by default whenever I click on 'new message' or 'contacts'.

Imagine, FB actually put him above my sister, and my closest friends. 

How is it possible? I've been chatting with them for years !

I was so muddled by this that I searched for the reason online.

Rest assured, I DO NOT constantly check on his FB timeline.

I do not look at anything about him anymore.

I am not dumb.

I need to heal.

It's as if FB's setting is programmed to tease our minds.

It's as if FB knows exactly what's on top my mind, hence put him on top of my list.

Dang.