A lot of acquaintance who suffer my similar predicament confided in me that they can't stand browsing their Facebook accounts.

Knowing that their ex-classmates and friends/ acquaintances are busy living a productive and fun life just adds salt to their pain.

I can understand the feeling but I very quickly, almost instantaneously recognise that feeling as jealousy.

And it's wrong.

It's normal as we're all human, but it's also wrong.

I remember sharing this pain with my counsellor years ago. 

She asked, "How does that make you feel?" - the standard counsellor response.

I answered, "They worked hard, obviously they deserve to be where they are. I guess this pain in internally inflicted, that's why it hurts even more."

"What I'm trying to say is, I blame myself and yet, I know I've done nothing wrong.

Why didn't I fight harder? Why did I allow myself to be victimised?

The guilt is killing me inside."

Back to present.

Why this post?

I was browsing my Facebook.

I saw photos of my ex-classmate who was very close in proximity with the instructor whom I'm currently having a crush on.

What a small world.

The photos were taken on the same year I was on my 3rd relapse.

13 years ago, we were doing the exact same thing.

Now, look how different things have turned out for us.

On a different note, I bought a slice of birthday cake for LC.
She was really surprised that I remembered.
I'm glad I did.
=)