I've been more sociable.
Though still awkward at times, but there has been significant improvement for the past 3 years.
I make the effort to speak 'positive'.

Whenever people pry about my single hood, my answer always lean to the impression that I'm 'eagerly looking but all the good guys are taken' - status.
Why?
Well, simply because that's the only way to keep the conversation 'up'.
I don't know how else to answer.
The truth -"I have too much depressive issues in me to think about anything else." - is just not a sociable answer.
Being busy is not a believable answer.
So, whenever we talk about match-making, or being set-up by friends/colleagues, I always gingerly play along.
However, whenever it turns serious, I always back down.
I'd give all sorts of excuses.
Today, when we were chatting about this topic gleefully, my facial expression awkwardly changed the moment I realised the friend was dead serious about introducing this guy to me.
I couldn't laugh anymore.
The sudden change caused the friend to misunderstand, thinking that I didn't like some aspects of the guy.
She even went on 'explaining' some stuff about the guy.
I just made up some lame excuses and didn't want to talk about it anymore.

I feel so bad.
She now thinks that I 'reject' that guy.
If only I could tell her, that I 'reject' myself.
I wish I can believe that I can be 'ok', but I'm just not.