Saturday, August 11, 2012

There’s one thing that is very important, no matter what kind of period of history you are in: Always know yourself. If you know yourself, you have nothing to worry about. It’s like watching a play. You have two selves. One self is standing on this earth, another self is looking down from the air.

----Zheng Min, the last living member of China’s ‘Nine Leaves’

Wednesday, August 08, 2012

Monday, August 06, 2012

“There is much more to life than to focus on our limitations,”

http://thestar.com.my/news/story.asp?file=/2012/8/4/nation/11783461&sec=nation

PETALING JAYA: Discovering that she had cancer that later left her paralysed caused Amelia Tan to plummet into darkness and depression.
But the plucky young woman has since risen above her difficulties and is now moving forward with her thriving online business, cheering her buyers up with the pretty trinkets that she hand-makes.
Four years ago, Tan, then only 19, was diagnosed with advanced stage lymphoma cancer of the lymphatic system which rendered her wheelchair-bound, having lost the function of both her legs.

“My dad and brother make daily trips to the post office to send the orders out and on the weekends, the whole family sits down to put the accessories in packets and cut ribbons,” she said.

“I had a lot of time to think during the months I spent recovering in bed and I decided that I had to rise above my present situation.
Tan described what happened to her as a “curse turned into a blessing” although she had to make major adjustments to her lifestyle.

She said that although her struggle with the disease was the most difficult and darkest time in her life, family support and her new-found faith in religion while in hospital gave her strength to keep going.
She added that her mother resigned from her job as a general manager and her older sister, who was studying at the time, took a year off and returned home to take care of her after she fell sick.

Saturday, August 04, 2012

Friday, August 03, 2012

Black account Liu Fei


She won the 1998 women's champion of the World skills Championship and retired in 2000, but then found herself struggle for hunting jobs. Liu Fei had to live in a small room, while her father had to sleep in a folding bed placed in a small corridor. The distress of life is heartbreaking. Liu Fei again and again said that she regret selecting the career of sports.

She said,” Flowers, applause, celebrity all embraced me when I was standing on the podium of world champion. I had never thought about whether it's wrong for me to choose the career. However, when I retired, I fell on evil days and was never out. I have no house to live, no work for a living. Even I have no idea of the whereabouts of my residence account. Even basic household appliances such as washing machines and refrigerators are, when it comes to Liu Fei, elusive dreams. While injury got from training day after day still is hounding and haunting her.

China's Disposable Athletes
When Zou Chunlan left school to become a professional athlete, her recruiting coach assured the 13-year-old that the nation's huge sports bureaucracy would look after her for the rest of her life. All she had to worry about was winning. For a decade, Zou followed his advice, winning the 48-kg national weightlifting title in 1990 when she was 19 years old and pocketing four other national championships. But when she retired in 1993, Zou discovered that the coach's side of the bargain wasn't going to be met. After three years of menial jobs in the women's weightlifting team's kitchen, she was asked to leave.

With her little education and total ignorance of the real world, Zou had little choice but to turn to physical labor. After stints carrying sacks on a construction site and selling lamb kebabs in the street, she ended up as a masseuse in a public bathhouse earning $60 a month. Her fate isn't unusual. A weightlifting coach explained to the Beijing News that Zou wasn't the only retired weightlifter struggling with the real world. "Zou's national medals are worthless. There are world champions who end up jobless after retirement."

Since her plight became public, things have taken a turn for the better for Zou. With the help of the All China Women's Federation, she opened a laundry shop six months ago in her hometown, Changchun, capital of Jilin Province. She no longer has to work as a masseuse at a bath house. But she is still struggling. Unable to read and unfamiliar with computers, she says she can hardly manage to add up her accounts. "I gave my youth to sport," she told TIME over the phone, in a voice thick with emotion, "but in return, I was thrown out like garbage with no knowledge, no skill and a barren womb."

Thursday, August 02, 2012

Whenever I express my intention of having a haircut, the people who care about my appearance DO make a benign reminder,
"Whatever you do, DON'T cut it too short like the last time!".
I've always had the habit of making very drastic chops.
Mostly because I'm too preoccupied with my mental battles to effectively maintain a girly hairstyle.

Oh no, they're not those type who care too much about what other people think, etc...
How I know?
Coz' that sort of category NEVER want to hang out with me in the first place.
I'm a leper to them.
So, back to the people who matters...

People who care about me always give concerned expressions about my lack of initiative in grooming.
I know they bother to give these comments because they see the potential in me looking better, not for any other reasons.
My sister even bought me hairpins, hairbands to encourage me.

All their suggestions in improving my appearance merely sings "We care for you..."
It's always a comfort.

And I'm always guilty for failing to follow through...
hehehe

Saturday, July 28, 2012

When I first heard this song on the radio, I quickly Google searched the lyrics, but failed to do so.
The radio announcer didn't mention the name of the song nor the artist, or perhaps I just missed it.
So, imagine my delight when I found this posted on FB!

By Michael Gondry

lyrics:All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places, worn out faces
Bright and early for their daily races
Going nowhere, going nowhere
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression, no expression
Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow
No tomorrow, no tomorrow

And I find it kinda funny
I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very mad world mad world

Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy Birthday, Happy Birthday
Made to feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen, sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me, no one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me, look right through me

And I find it kinda funny
I find it kinda sad
The dreams in which I'm dying
Are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you
I find it hard to take
When people run in circles
It's a very, very mad world ... world
Enlarge your world
Mad world

Wednesday, July 18, 2012

He was a tricycle driver for 20 years and has donated 350,000Renminbi to support the education of 300 students who live in poverty.
One winter, he gave his last 500Renminbi to their teacher, "This will be my last donation as I am no longer fit to work." He passed away at the age of 93. His name is Bai Fang Li.
< You don't have to be rich to help those in needs.>

Tuesday, July 17, 2012

I had fallen very ill weeks ago.
Hence, I couldn't go for my usual runs and had to even miss out a very much anticipated running event.
It wasn't just my physical health.
A few unpleasant events had taken place, and I was very badly shaken.
Thus, the Dark Monsters were very strong.

Yesterday, I told a friend that I have somewhat come to the decision not to pursue my studies as I don't think I can handle it.
My current job and my vast free time allows me to 'zone out'.
Taking up the studying challenge wouldn't. It would further suffocate me.
I don't think I'm strong enough.
I'm too scared to rock the boat.
I'm merely hanging on.
I understand all the motivational quotes, but I'm really afraid that I might hurt myself when I'm outside my comfort zone.
Really hurt myself.

Ironically enough, a psychiatrist whom I had gotten to know in a meditation class invited me to share my experience as someone who's been fighting mental illness for years.
He said that his forum needs 'real' people.
As I was seated on the panel, I saw a lot of empty faces looking back at me.
Truly, it takes one to know one.
My sympathies run even deeper when the 'patients' are younger- just in their teens.
It was too familiar...
Eerily familiar.

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Monday, June 25, 2012

Excerpts from REALITY IS BROKEN,pg99 by Jane McGonigal.

Awe is a unique emotion. According to many positive psychologists, it’s the single most overwhelming and gratifying positive emotion we can feel. In fact, neuropsychologist Paul Peasall calls awe “the orgasm of positive emotions.”

Awe is what we feel when we recognize that we’re in the presence of something bigger than ourselves. It’s closely linked with feelings of spirituality, love, and gratitude – and more importantly, a desire to serve.
…"The experience of awe is about finding your place in the larger scheme of things. It’s about quieting the press of self-interest. It’s about folding into social collectives. It’s about feeling reverential towards participating in some expansive process that unites us all and that ennobles our life’s endeavours.”

In other words, awe doesn’t just feel good; it inspires us to do good.
Mentally ill man remanded over double murder

The above story really got me thinking.

He said: “Mama, sorry, I'm wrong, you take care of yourself and papa well”.

He also said he would donate his organs if he was sentenced to death.


No doubt, he will still have to pay for his hideous crime but I feel his admittance of his wrong doing and wanting to help others with his death still speaks substance of this man.

Monday, June 18, 2012

Wonderful quotes from the movie Flight of the Phoenix
Frank Towns: Why give people false hope?

Liddle: Come on man.Most people spend their whole lives hanging on to hopes and dreams that are never going to come true but they hold on to them. Why are you going to give up on them now when you need them most?

Frank Towns: You are assuming I'm one of those people who has hopes and dreams.

Liddle: I find it hard to believe that a man who learns to fly never had a dream.

Frank Towns: Look, how can I let those people build that plane when I don't believe it will work? And, every day they waste trying to build it brings them one day closer to dying.

Liddle: I think a man only needs one thing in life. He just needs someone to love. If you can't give him that, then give him something to hope for. And if you can't give him that, just give him something to do.

[James tosses the water bottle back to Frank and walks away] 

Frank Towns: James, you'll never make it.

Liddle: Then I'll die trying. There are people counting on me.

Friday, June 15, 2012

I was badly shaken on Monday.
Real bad.
The -Woke up in the middle of the night, couldn't sleep well - level of bad.

The following night, I had a very unusual dream.
The type of dream that you'd remember though you have long awaken.

I was walking in the dark, searching for familiarity.
Suddenly, I was at the food stalls of the neighbourhood I grew up in.
But there was no one I knew around.
Then, I saw the elderly professor whom I quite fond of at work.
She was preoccupied.
I began to tell her my troubles, desperate to pour out my grief to her.
She listened attentively, but she kept pulling my arm to walk with her.
I shook my head, "No, I'm too tired, listen..."
"I am listening, but you must walk while you tell me. Come on.."
I was exhausted both physically, emotionally and mentally.
But she wouldn't have any of that.
I had to walk.

That dream was days ago.
Yet, I strongly feel the message.
I'm glad my subconscious mind had work its way to make the better of me.

Friday, June 08, 2012

Wednesday, June 06, 2012

Excerpts from REALITY IS BROKEN, by Jane McGonigal.

Fiero is the Italian word for “pride,” – (we don’t have a good word for in English)and it’s been adopted by game designers to describe an emotional high. Fiero is what we feel after we triumph over adversity. You know it when you feel it – and when you see it. That’s because we almost all express fiero in exactly the same way: we throw our arms over our head and yell.
… it’s a craving for challenges that we can overcome, battles we can win, and dangers we can vanquish. Scientists have documented that fiero is one of the most powerful neurochemical highs we can experience. It involves 3 different structures of the reward circuitry of the brain, including the mesocorticolimbic center, which is most typically associated with reward and addiction. It is a rush, unlike any other, and the more challenging the obstacle we overcome, the more intense the fiero.

When we try to find happiness outside of ourselves, we’re focused on what positive psychologists call “extrinsic” rewards – money, material goods, status, or praise. When we get what we want, we feel good. Unfortunately, the pleasures of found happiness don’t last very long. We build up a tolerance for our favourite things and start to want more. This process ‘hedonic adaptation,’- is one of the biggest hindrances to long-term life satisfaction.

On the other hand, when we set out to make our own happiness, we’re focused on activity that generates intrinsic rewards – the positive emotions, personal strengths, and social connections that we build by engaging intensely with the world around us. We’re not looking for praise or payouts. The very act of what we’re doing, the enjoyment of being fully engaged, is enough.
The scientific term for this kind of self-motivated, self-rewarding activity is autotelic (from the Greek words for ‘self,’ auto, and ‘goal, telos). We do autotelic work because it engages us completely, and because intense engagement is the most pleasurable, satisfying, and meaningful emotional state we can experience.

As de Botton writes, "Long before we ever earned any money, we were aware of the necessity of keeping busy: we knew the satisfaction of stacking bricks, pouring water into and out of containers and moving sand from one pit to another, untroubled by the greater purpose of our actions." In casual games, there is no greater purpose to our actions - we are simply enjoying our ability to make something happen.

Tuesday, June 05, 2012

I was browsing trendy household items with sis.
They were all so pretty to look at.
Things you'd wish you can bring home with.
I remembered that I used to believe that I could own these things.
I really did.
Perhaps 10 years ago.
But since I got sick, everything came tumbling down.
I have never dared to dream again.

Earlier this month, I had submitted my application to further my studies - after much encouragement from superiors.
The FEAR remains very real.
To be honest, I won't be dissappointed at all if my application was rejected. (a statement I kept repeating to all friends)
So why bother applying right?