I had fallen very ill weeks ago.
Hence, I couldn't go for my usual runs and had to even miss out a very much anticipated running event.
It wasn't just my physical health.
A few unpleasant events had taken place, and I was very badly shaken.
Thus, the Dark Monsters were very strong.

Yesterday, I told a friend that I have somewhat come to the decision not to pursue my studies as I don't think I can handle it.
My current job and my vast free time allows me to 'zone out'.
Taking up the studying challenge wouldn't. It would further suffocate me.
I don't think I'm strong enough.
I'm too scared to rock the boat.
I'm merely hanging on.
I understand all the motivational quotes, but I'm really afraid that I might hurt myself when I'm outside my comfort zone.
Really hurt myself.

Ironically enough, a psychiatrist whom I had gotten to know in a meditation class invited me to share my experience as someone who's been fighting mental illness for years.
He said that his forum needs 'real' people.
As I was seated on the panel, I saw a lot of empty faces looking back at me.
Truly, it takes one to know one.
My sympathies run even deeper when the 'patients' are younger- just in their teens.
It was too familiar...
Eerily familiar.