I'm both worried and impressed. Below are writings of an 8-year-old.

My parents are always saying that the world doesn’t revolve around me but sometimes I wonder if it actually does. 

When I was a little kid, I saw that movie about a man whose whole life is secretly being filmed for a tv show. This guy is famous all over the world, but he doesn’t know it!

Well, ever since I saw that movie, I’ve kind of figured out that the same thing is probably happening to me!

At first, I was annoyed that my life was being broadcast without my permission, but I realised that if millions of people are tuning in every day to see what I’m up to, that’s actually kind of cool!

Sometimes I worry that my life is too boring to be its own television show so I try to do something entertaining every now and then, to give the people who are watching a good chuckle.

I also try to let my audience know that I’m in on the secret. If it’s live, then there’s gotta be commercial breaks. I figure they must run the ads where I’m in the bathroom. So, I always make a big entrance after I finish up in there.

Sometimes I wonder how much of my life is rigged and how much is real because half the things that happened to me seem so ridiculous! 

Every once in a while I wonder if the people in my life are who they seem to be or if they’re really actors. If they are actors, I hope the kid who plays my friend Rawley gets an award because he’s doing a great job pretending to be a doofus. And if my brother Rodrick is actually just some guy getting paid to act like a jerk. But if my parents are actors, then that’s just wrong. I’ve made a lot of Mother’s and Father’s Day cards over the years. If this is all a show, then I deserve to get paid for my time and effort.

And speaking of getting paid, I’ll bet my real parents are set for life, thanks to me!

But I’m doing everything I can to make sure I can cash in later. In most TV shows, the main character has a catchphrase that they say at least once per episode. So, I’ve come up with one on my own, and I drop it into my conversation every once in a while.