I don't know what exactly happened.
I came back from the 4-days church camp and I was terribly exhausted.
Had the physical exhaustion affected my mind?
I was just beginning to grasp the work momentum when suddenly I was told there's more expected from me.
I really couldn't cope.
I went to the toilet to cry.
Cried more at the obvious let-down of who I am.

I was so happy.
Really I was.
My handwriting in my journals told me so.
It was my rare, happy handwriting.

During the camp, I was so happy.
I remember giving thanks that things are finally looking up.
And now, I've fallen flat yet again.

Inhale.
Exhale.
I'll have to search for a job again.
Gawd, I just ask that I don't feel this useless.