I find myself shamed by this quote below.
"One of the most pervasive myths in the modern culture today is that we are entitled to a great life - that somehow, somewhere, someone (other than ourselves) is responsible for filling our lives with continual happiness,... simply because we exist." - Jack Canfield
Otherwise, how come we get disheartened so often?
I have mental illness. Mind clarity is rare, too briefly and often too late. Old friends and acquaintances would look away when they see me. Yup, that unpopular. Of course, I get angry and hurt but deep down, I know I’d do the same too, if I saw 'me'. That’s the icy cold papercut truth. The illness cuts even deeper. I thank you for your readership. Your presence here makes me feel less alone. This blog helps me remember my true worth as a person, and how my own mind threatens it.
Friday, January 28, 2011
Sunday, January 23, 2011
Each time I see the chubby young man who lives approximately 10 houses away, he would flash me his 100 megawatt smile.
His smiles are very sincere, just like a child's.
Not those 'marketing' 'advertising' type.
And he'd look at you so gratefully as if you had saved his life or something.
During the first time he did that, I thought he had mistaken me for someone else.
I looked away confusedly.
The second time he smiled at me. I looked him in the eye for several seconds to be sure.
Yup, he IS smiling at me.
The first thought that crossed my mind, "Is he retarded or something?"
Yesterday, our paths crossed again.
He smiled and I reciprocated with my best smile though it's no where near his 100 megawatt.
And I thought,
"What is the world coming to, when we can't even accept a sincere smile without questioning the motive?"
I think I'm the retarded one.
His smiles are very sincere, just like a child's.
Not those 'marketing' 'advertising' type.
And he'd look at you so gratefully as if you had saved his life or something.
During the first time he did that, I thought he had mistaken me for someone else.
I looked away confusedly.
The second time he smiled at me. I looked him in the eye for several seconds to be sure.
Yup, he IS smiling at me.
The first thought that crossed my mind, "Is he retarded or something?"
Yesterday, our paths crossed again.
He smiled and I reciprocated with my best smile though it's no where near his 100 megawatt.
And I thought,
"What is the world coming to, when we can't even accept a sincere smile without questioning the motive?"
I think I'm the retarded one.
Friday, January 21, 2011
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Wow, sometimes it's hard NOT to believe the existence of the higher power.
I was feeling really nervous, unsure of myself, to the point of giving up what I had challenged myself to do.
When suddenly I noticed there's a new email notification in my inbox for this blog
"If you are feeling stuck in certain life areas, or find yourself avoiding certain topics; look within and see what limiting beliefs you may be carrying, that is causing you to feel stuck. You may have to dig deep – for many of these unconscious beliefs are deeply rooted, and have been with us since we were children.
One of my unwritten goals for this year is to discover, uncover, and undo some of my own limiting beliefs, and unconscious habitual patterns that I unknowingly acquired as a child."
This reads like a fortune cookie to me.
I was feeling really nervous, unsure of myself, to the point of giving up what I had challenged myself to do.
When suddenly I noticed there's a new email notification in my inbox for this blog
"If you are feeling stuck in certain life areas, or find yourself avoiding certain topics; look within and see what limiting beliefs you may be carrying, that is causing you to feel stuck. You may have to dig deep – for many of these unconscious beliefs are deeply rooted, and have been with us since we were children.
One of my unwritten goals for this year is to discover, uncover, and undo some of my own limiting beliefs, and unconscious habitual patterns that I unknowingly acquired as a child."
This reads like a fortune cookie to me.
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
I felt this advice was meant for me too.
"Yet you remain unconvinced and think you need to change and be a better person."
"In reading, searching and trying so hard to understand, you have failed to do the simplest thing – love yourself. Instead of counting your failures, be kinder to yourself and give yourself credit for all your achievements."
"Take stock of what you want and think positively. Do not wear yourself down by constantly insisting that you need to be a better person when there is nothing wrong with you."
Taken from Dear Thelma's column
"Yet you remain unconvinced and think you need to change and be a better person."
"In reading, searching and trying so hard to understand, you have failed to do the simplest thing – love yourself. Instead of counting your failures, be kinder to yourself and give yourself credit for all your achievements."
"Take stock of what you want and think positively. Do not wear yourself down by constantly insisting that you need to be a better person when there is nothing wrong with you."
Taken from Dear Thelma's column
Saturday, January 15, 2011
I got my bonus!
It's my very first bonus!
When boss was giving out the letter of notification, I was as happy as a little girl opening her Christmas presents.
My other colleagues acted very cool about it, some even disappointed over the amount , but I was deliriously happy.
The amount didn't matter to me
My very own first bonus!
It's a huge milestone for me.
It's my very first bonus!
When boss was giving out the letter of notification, I was as happy as a little girl opening her Christmas presents.
My other colleagues acted very cool about it, some even disappointed over the amount , but I was deliriously happy.
The amount didn't matter to me
My very own first bonus!
It's a huge milestone for me.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
“My philosophy in life is simple: If doing something makes you worried, then it must be a wrong thing. If it makes you happy, then you must have done the right thing. What others say is not important,”
Read the story here
Read the story here
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Was watching Criminal Minds when this quote came about.
There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love.
--Washington Irving
I remember this event that had taken place in the hospital very clearly.
My friend L(whom I got to know in ward) was crying after an uneventful visit from the family.
All the new acquaintances there felt very sorry for her but didn't know how to console her.
Then came this young lady, perhaps in her early 20s, hugged L and cried along with her.
"Don't cry, don't cry" she soothed L.
Now, this young lady wasn't lucid at all as she was telling us stories which doesn't tally with reality.
So, I was pretty shocked by her gesture towards L.
Fast forward years later, I asked L if she remembers this incident.
She doesn't, which is common as patients don't really remember a lot of their past.
But oddly enough, though I have forgotten many things myself, but not this incident .
It's indelible ..
There is a sacredness in tears. They are not the mark of weakness, but of power. They speak more eloquently than ten thousand tongues. They are the messengers of overwhelming grief, of deep contrition, and of unspeakable love.
--Washington Irving
I remember this event that had taken place in the hospital very clearly.
My friend L(whom I got to know in ward) was crying after an uneventful visit from the family.
All the new acquaintances there felt very sorry for her but didn't know how to console her.
Then came this young lady, perhaps in her early 20s, hugged L and cried along with her.
"Don't cry, don't cry" she soothed L.
Now, this young lady wasn't lucid at all as she was telling us stories which doesn't tally with reality.
So, I was pretty shocked by her gesture towards L.
Fast forward years later, I asked L if she remembers this incident.
She doesn't, which is common as patients don't really remember a lot of their past.
But oddly enough, though I have forgotten many things myself, but not this incident .
It's indelible ..
Thursday, January 06, 2011
Wednesday, January 05, 2011
This story is a reminder to us all that we are capable of changing other people's lives, ....
Original's from RD
But this is easier to read
Original's from RD
But this is easier to read
Tuesday, January 04, 2011
I was in a fast-food restaurant when I noticed an elderly man sitting beside the drain.
He looked lost.
The way he was seated and his place of choice caused my imagination to pour.
"Is he hurt?"
"Could he be suffering from Alzheimer's?"
"Emotionally hurt?"
As I was still preoccupied in the restaurant, I made the intention to ask him if he needs any help as soon as the moment permits.
Even if it's just a simple " Are you ok?" may suffice.
Then, his companion came and he took out his car keys and drove off.
He sat there because he had parked his car at obstruction!
Jokes on me!
This reminds me of this blog post
He looked lost.
The way he was seated and his place of choice caused my imagination to pour.
"Is he hurt?"
"Could he be suffering from Alzheimer's?"
"Emotionally hurt?"
As I was still preoccupied in the restaurant, I made the intention to ask him if he needs any help as soon as the moment permits.
Even if it's just a simple " Are you ok?" may suffice.
Then, his companion came and he took out his car keys and drove off.
He sat there because he had parked his car at obstruction!
Jokes on me!
This reminds me of this blog post
I was just browsing the newspaper when familiar words caught my attention.
Heck, I could have written it myself 30 years later.
Read the story about an old folks'home here
“Before that, I lost everything, including the hope to continue living, and attempted suicide a few times. But there were people who helped me live on every time,” he said.
“Newspapers, magazines and story books keep me company,” he said.
-OMG I wrote this similar line on my Blog Profile
And I've always had a secret dream job of selling newspapers ( can't really figure out why myself)
Isn't it amazing that strangers can seem so close sometimes?
Heck, I could have written it myself 30 years later.
Read the story about an old folks'home here
“Before that, I lost everything, including the hope to continue living, and attempted suicide a few times. But there were people who helped me live on every time,” he said.
“Newspapers, magazines and story books keep me company,” he said.
-OMG I wrote this similar line on my Blog Profile
And I've always had a secret dream job of selling newspapers ( can't really figure out why myself)
Isn't it amazing that strangers can seem so close sometimes?
Monday, January 03, 2011
Went to see Tittar.
I'm so glad that my wrist doesn't hurt that much anymore.
Now, I just need to take extra care of it.
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