This is a very selfish blog.
Yes, because I'm typing this while my poor bro is trying to sleep.
My room is no longer MINE.
It's HIS.
Dowager's order.
Well, it's sort of fair too. Coz he will be giving more money to her.
(I don't know how much)
But honestly, I'm not bearing any ill feeling against my bro, unless you count PITY.
My poor bro is having some financial difficulty...

My friend said this recently, "I thought you are very fond of your bro."
FOND?
Fond is a very irrelevant word here in my family.
Yes, I yearn for affection from my bro ALL the time but logic has it that I should give up.
Time and again I always forget logic and do something nice for him only to be disappointed soon after.
He hasn't done anything that hurt me, nor has he done anything to assist me.
To be fair, I did nothing for him either.
That's our relationship.

We grew up in a VERY difficult situation, a very UNcommon situation.
He lost just as much as I did.
But then again, how do I weigh our loss?
It's all just so senseless...