1. Elation
Photographer Marcus Bleasdale: “In 2007, Human Rights Watch asked me to photograph the street children in Kinshasa, a war-ravaged city in the Democratic Republic of the Congo. I took this photo inside a local resource center that provides the children a few meals and running water. The boy in front is one of the thousands of kids who sleep on the streets and scavenge at a local market for food and charcoal to sell. Despite his desperate situation, he still relishes taking a shower, a luxury that most of us take for granted

Aaron Hillel Swartz (November 8, 1986 – January 11, 2013) , who was considered one of the brightest young minds in tech activism, hanged himself on Friday night in his Brooklyn apartment. He had been struggling with depression for many years.
There was no apparent suicide note, officials said.
Swartz’s death cast a pall over the tech world and prompted soul-searching questions among policy experts and university officials — not to mention his grieving family and friends.

Swartz’s passing triggered an outpouring of grief from those who knew him well, and the broader technology and Internet community.
Prior to his death, Swartz faced up to 35 years in prison and a fine of up to $1 million for the alleged JSTOR downloads. He had pleaded not guilty. His trial was set to begin next month. Several prominent observers, including Lessig, called the potential penalty disproportionate to the alleged crime.

Two days later, on 11 January, Swartz hanged himself with his belt in the Brooklyn apartment he shared with his girlfriend. There was no suicide note. Stinebrickner-Kauffman was the one who found him when she got back from work. He was wearing the same clothes she had seen him in when she left for the office that morning: a V-neck black T-shirt and brown corduroy trousers. He had his coat on. When she called the emergency services, she was screaming so hard that at first they couldn't hear the address.

She says now that it would be too easy to explain away Swartz's suicide by saying he was depressed.

"I've read a lot about depression and it just doesn't sound like Aaron." When she speaks, she chooses her words cautiously. Her face is pale and tense, her eyes tired. Her every gesture seems to carry within it a sadness that is all the more unbearable for being contained.

"He didn't have an absence of joy. He didn't have an absence of human emotion… I think he was in a lot of pain. A lot of it was to do with the case. I don't think he would have killed himself if it weren't for the case, put it that way.

"The thing that I regret is that I didn't know I should be looking for anything… In retrospect, there are clues I could have picked up on and I just didn't know to.

"I think he made a really dumb decision. But I also think I understand how it happened. The biggest problem with the decision is that it's permanent. Other dumb decisions, you can usually recover from. People make mistakes." She breaks off and starts to cry, lowering her head as her shoulders shake. "It hurt me," she says finally, her voice quiet, "but I don't think it was his intention to do so."

Is winning all that counts? Are you absolutely sure about that?
On December 2, Basque athlete Iván Fernández Anaya was competing in a cross-country race in Burlada, Navarre. He was running second, some distance behind race leader Abel Mutai - bronze medalist in the 3,000-meter steeplechase at the London Olympics. 
As they entered the finishing straight, he saw the Kenyan runner - the certain winner of the race - mistakenly pull up about 10 meters before the finish, thinking he had already crossed the line. 
 Fernández Anaya quickly caught up with him, but instead of exploiting Mutai's mistake to speed past and claim an unlikely victory, he stayed behind and, using gestures, guided the Kenyan to the line and let him cross first.
 Ivan Fernandez Anaya, a Basque runner of 24 years who is considered an athlete with a big future (champion of Spain of 5,000 meters in promise category two years ago) 
 "But even if they had told me that winning would have earned me a place in the Spanish team for the European championships, I wouldn't have done it either. I also think that I have earned more of a name having done what I did than if I had won. And that is very important, because today, with the way things are in all circles, in soccer, in society, in politics, where it seems anything goes, a gesture of honesty goes down well." 

Unfortunately, very little has been said of the gesture. And it's a shame. In my opinion, it would be nice to explain to children, so they do not think that sport is only what they see on TV: violent kicks in abundance, posh statements, fingers in the eyes of the enemy ... Taken from crossfitmeridian.net

Lynton Clarke is 74, and five days a week he gets on his bike at 5am to ride 2km to Stows Newsagency, in Bairnsdale. 
There he loads up the morning papers and starts his round. It takes him a little under two hours to deliver his 60 papers, then it's home for breakfast with his wife, Jan.
 Mr Clarke delivered his first newspaper about 62 years ago in Croydon. 
"We used to carry the papers in a sugar bag and pour hot water into the handlebars to keep our fingers warm," he said.
 "I retired from my round when I was about 14 but about nine years ago I realised I was walking every morning for fitness, so I decided to deliver papers and get paid to keep fit.
 "The newspaper round and a diet has helped me lose 13kg in that time." Mr Clarke's boss, Trevor Stow, says his paperboy is one of the best. 
"Lyn does his deliveries come rain, hail or shine," he said. "He's excellent and his service is appreciated by his customers. 
"He not only delivers the papers, but he places them in convenient positions for his customers to find. 
 "In wet weather he rides his bike up to the door of most houses and places the paper on the veranda to save his customers getting wet."
 Despite his years, Mr Clarke said he has no plans to retire. "Why would I? It's fun." Taken from HeraldSun

The life of a six year old, anywhere in the world should be filled with bubbles and love and comfort and caring.
For poor Ah Long, an HIV carrier from Guangxi Province, China, life is difficult and extremely lonely.

Both his parents died of AIDS and the poor child is too much on his own, doing his own washing, cooking and studying.
His 84-year-old grandmother has planted vegetables for him and visits frequently. She cooks for him, for him, but will not live with the child.
Everyone else in his world, including the nearby primary school has rejected him.
His only friend and companion is a dog named Lao Hei.
The Welfare department has also declined to take responsibility for the little boy and the monthly allowance of 70 yuan (about $US 10) he gets form the civil bureau is nowhere near enough.
The stigma surrounding HIV/AIDS in China is powerful and it is totally responsible for this poor child’s neglect.
Since the 1980s, the disease has spread from the gay population and drug users to the general population, but there is still a total lack of education, understanding and a pervasive denial that fuels the fires of hatred and discrimination.
There is hope for Ah Long as after his story as published in Chinese newspapers one couple announced publicly that they would adopt the boy.
To date, however, this is yet to happen. Many Chinese believe that AIDS only infects immoral people. How could a six-year-old boy be immoral?

Taken from www.weirdasianews.com .... and there I thought I was stigmatised.... *filled with embarrassment*

The Hobbit

Galadriel : “Mithrandir, why the halfling?”

Gandalf responds: “Saruman believes it is only great power that can hold evil in check, but that is not what I have found.
 I found it is the small everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keep the darkness at bay… small acts of kindness and love.
Why Bilbo Baggins? That’s because I am afraid and it gives me courage.”

FB Story

Stochastic Probability Theory - Pregnant Deer Scenario Consider this scenario: 
In a remote forest, a pregnant deer is about to give birth to a baby. It finds a remote grass field near by a river and slowly goes there thinking it would be safe. As she moves slowly, she gets labor pain…. at the same moment, dark clouds gather around that area and lightning starts a forest fire. Turning left she sees a hunter who is aiming an arrow from a distance. As she tries to move towards right, she spots a hungry lion approaching towards her.
 Stochastic Probability Theory - Pregnant Deer Scenario What can the pregnant deer do ….as she is already under labor pain ? … … … 
What do you think will happen ? Will the deer survive ? 
 Will it give birth to a fawn ? Will the fawn survive ? or Will everything be burnt by the forest fire ? … … … … That particular moment ? … … … Can the deer go left ? – Hunter’s arrow is pointing 
 Can she go right ? – Hungry male lion approaching Can she move up ? – Forest fire 
 Can she move down ? – Fierce river

 Answer: She does nothing. She just focuses on giving birth to a new LIFE. The sequence of events that happens at that fraction of a second (moment) are as follows:
 In a spur of MOMENT …a lightning strikes (already it is cloudy ) and blinds the eyes of the Hunter. At that MOMENT, he releases the arrow missing and zipping past the deer. 
At that MOMENT the arrow hits and injures the lion badly. 
At that MOMENT, it starts to rain heavily and puts out the forest fire. At that next MOMENT, the deer gives birth to a healthy fawn. 
In our life, it’s our MOMENT of CHOICE and we all have to deal with such negative thoughts from all sides always. Some thoughts are so powerful they overpower us and makes us clueless. 
Let us not decide anything in a hurry. Let’s think of ourselves as the pregnant deer with the ultimate happy ending. Anything can happen in a MOMENT in this life. If you are religious, superstitious, atheist, agnostic… or whatever… you can attribute this MOMENT as divine intervention, faith, sudden luck, chance (serendipity), coincidence… or a simple ‘don’t know’.

We all feel the same. But, whatever one may call it, I would see the priority of the deer in that given moment was to giving birth to a baby…. because LIFE IS PRECIOUS. Hence, whether you are deer or a human, keep that faith and hope within you always...

I incidentally switched on the radio and heard a very famous geomancy professional (fortune teller) on interview. The Deejays were asking about his personal life and if he now understood the deeper meaning of his hardships in his past.
"No, no. Like what I always say. Never question the karmic reason of the difficulties in your life. That is the ultimatum to depression. I believe the main reason of my current success was never due to my EQ nor IQ, but my 'YikLik' (cantonese) -the defying spirit, unwilling to be accept passive outlook, ability to overcome setbacks in life, which I believe it now has a term for it, MQ "

My colleague from a different department got me this little water container for Christmas. She knew that I'd have some use for it as I'm always bringing my glass to the staff lounge which is 2 floors down from my own department. The strap will make it more convenient for me. My palms will be free to carry/ do other stuff too! 

I'm going to start to be more observant of other people's habit, likes + dislikes, birthdays.. etc.

There's an old guy from another department whom I always meet at the staff lounge.
We've chatted several times and I thought we had a rapport.
Until today.

I was attending a line of people when he suddenly just dropped a few books at the counter.
I told him in a serious tone that he has to queue like everyone else.
His demeanour changed and told me a bunch of excuses that has nothing to do with the fact that he is unwilling to wait for his turn, unlike everyone else.
Yelling from the exit, he even instructed me to call him if there were any problems.
I've heard rumours about his unprofessional behaviour before, but I never allowed them to shape my opinion of him.
Well, I guess today I can.

Not long after, a very snobbish department head came to return his books.
It's a he, but I'm calling him - Biatch !
There were so so many incidents in the past of his rudeness but I always smile at him whenever I see him, though he never reciprocated. Yes, he thinks he's that 'great'.
Gosh ! I was so mad today!
I almost decided to never again acknowledge the above people, when suddenly I recall the previous post, Project Forgive

Inhale.
Exhale.
I shall forgive.
Myself.
I will smile to those people again.
It's for Me.

Project Forgive

When I'm depressed, the past crept up to me and fill me with guilt.
Some justifiable, but mostly are exaggerated, to the point of nonsensical.
Depression and guilt are powerful partners in making sure I'm miserable.

Currently, I'm trying out a new method of forgiving myself, letting go of the past by forgiving others.
Each time I forgive others, I'm entitled to absolve one guilt of my past.

Today, when I was ordering my salad in the cafeteria, I emphasized that I wanted the sauce to be served separately.
I can't stand the amount of sauce they put in, therefore wanted to put the amount I want myself.
The usual cafe attendant would get it right, but this new one didn't.
I got very upset at first- even considered to insist that he take it back to the kitchen and get it right.
But no.
"Let it go." - my mind whispered.

The agitation was still lingering as I futilely tried to remove the mountain of sauce in my salad.
I began to recall all those times when I got the orders wrong back when I was a waitress years ago.
(gosh, dated so long that I'm embarrassed to type it here)
Most of the customers ''let it go'' too.

It's time, I let things go.
One at a time.

Sometimes you need a reminder that people can do wonderful things.

The parents who made their son's wheelchair into the best Halloween costume ever

The terminally ill man who loves receiving mail... and got more than he ever expected. Scott Widak has Down syndrome and suffers from liver disease, and he loves receiving mail. His nephew Sean posted his P.O. Box on Reddit and the site's users responded with hundreds of letters, packages, and gifts.

A kind stranger who stopped a day from being ruined

The doctor who offered free medical care after Hurricane Sandy

And the people that helped out any way that they could

Hospital employees make a human chain passing containers of fuel up 13 flights of stairs to the backup generator at Bellevue Hospital in New York City.

 

This Libyan child who doesn't believe in hate

The police officer who bought shoes for a barefoot homeless man.

And the police officers who made blind 13-year-old Gage Hancock-Stevens' dream of being a cop come true

The Texas A&M students that blocked Westboro Baptist Church protesters with a human wall.When students heard that Westboro Baptist Church planned on protesting the funeral of a soldier, they formed a human barricade around the funeral service to block them out.

When John Unger had suicidal thoughts after a breakup, it was his dog Shoep who brought him back from the brink. This photograph shows Unger cradling his friend in lake Superior to soothe the dog's arthritis.

Edited from FB.
There was a charity programme for orphans and I was therewith my friends.
I witness something very special.
I was seated at the very back of the hall, where there were about 20 to 25 orphans seated nearby.
A little boy caught my attention as he was making noise.
He was hungry and begged a volunteer for a piece of biscuit.
He was given the whole packet.
Although it contained no more than 15 to 20 biscuits, the little boy face lit up with great joy.
I thought he would eat all the biscuits in one go, but to my great surprise, he gave them to all of his friends. They were all hungry but each of them got at least half a piece of biscuit.
However, there weren't any left for him.
I think he anticipated this.
I thought he would start to cry, but surprisingly, he smiled at his friends who were happily munching the biscuits.
An older boy, carried this small kid on his lap and gave him a biscuit -(which was given to him earlier).
The little boy broke the biscuit into two and shared it with the older boy.
They hugged each other and said nothing.
This pic shows the kid playing with the older boy.

" Happiness is not the absence of conflict, but the harmony of contrasts. "

Armless student Suo Pengfei takes the national college entrance examination in Handan, North China's Hebei province, June 7, 2010. Suo lost his arms when he was a child, but he learned to dress and undress himself, eat, and write with his toes, Xinhua reportedfrom chinadaily

Taken from DeeBear from http://www.depressionforums.org/forums/blog/1378/entry-21644-beware-whinny-venting-ahead/ 

 I've had lots of time to think about it, and I came to the conclusion that living with depression is like walking a tightrope over a giant dry well. 

If you look back too far, you fall. If you look forward too far, you fall. 

But if you concentrate on one step at a time, you can stay on that wire a little longer. And when you fall, you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel because it's not there. 

You see the light high above your head, and wonder how you'll ever climb back out. It only takes a moment to fall, but it takes a long time to climb back out. 

I guess the trick is to leave yourself footholds as you climb out to make it easier the next time. It's always a struggle though, climbing out, and while it's hard knowing you've been here before, and that you'll be here again, there is another way to look at it. 

Try to take comfort in knowing you've been here before and gotten out before, and that this time is no different. That's the "footholds" I use to help me remember how to get out. Another thing is to allow yourself to rest. 

 Climbing back out is hard, and you don't want to be where you are, but resting and building up strength is often necessary before attempting the climb. 

Resting to build up your strength and courage is an important step, though it's hard to do when you're down in that hole. I firmly believe that people who've never been down in that hole couldn't handle it. 

It takes an enormous amount of strength and courage to live with depression, to survive all it throws at you. Many people don't have that strength. 

 Look back, remember you've always made it through, and that you'll make it through this. 

 "Success is to be measured not so much by the position that one has reached in life as by the obstacles which he has overcome." -- Booker T. Washington