Taken entirely from Facebook

So yesterday I felt honoured to have taken the ride with Aunty Rasamany. She's 72 years old and is a proud @grabmy driver, earning a living for herself and her 80 year old hubby.

I said to her 'Aunty I'm so proud of you, do you do this to occupy your time?' She said 'Well to be honest a few years ago I lost all my life savings in a gold investment company, but I know my ability and I have courage so I've decided to stand on my own feet to recover.

I felt nothing but love & admiration for her at that moment.
I gave her a hug and found it difficult to say goodbye, it felt therapeutic to be just sat next to her, listening and absorbing her positive energy. Thank you Aunty Rasamany for being such a big inspiration to women out there

"Tell her that if she doesn't want it, she can always return it !"
The poor messenger was surprised at my instruction.
.......................

"Oh, you ARE talking to me? I was wondering who you were talking to."
(insinuating her rudeness)
"I did call your name." (weak attempt to save face as we now have an audience)
"Did you?" (my intonation emphasized otherwise)
She continued her enquiry.
"Email! cc (name of her boss)!" I answered, talking to the back of her head before I could finish.

That's right, biatch.
New term, new attitude.

I need to care more about my own feelings than fearing narcissistic bullies like this.
**middle finger**

I've not been writing for ages.
I checked my journal, gosh ! a year ?
So much has happened, surely it's worth journaling?
I must start developing a good writing habit.
After all, I ALWAYS surprise myself with my writings.
I need to write.

*******************************************************
Last Christmas, a group of Christian friends came to the house to carol.
I gulped my emotions when they greeted me.
Such a thoughtful gesture of them to bless the house with this festive cheer.

Every time when I thought I was beaten down with the worldly weary,

 Goodness nonchalantly picks me up.

I wrote to Mn,
On 21 Mar 2019, at 3:17 PM,
I have been considering for days whether or not to reach out to you gals.... but alas...
One thought gave me the assurance that I should.
No matter what...
Our past experiences together is definitely worth this email.
As I was still so upset, I thought it's best to stay quiet and let myself THINK.
THINK about what happened.
Surely, I have to bear some responsibility too.
Surely, I could have done better to prevent this misunderstanding to have gone from bad to now, maybe even Non-Friends.
So, I give it time.
Cool down.
One week became two weeks.
Two weeks became 3 weeks.
It didn't feel uncomfortable.
But this period did give me time to think and rethink about myself, the situation... and what I want.
No matter what, it is undeniable that we have had a LOT of good memories.
I do feel our friendship is worth saving.
That's why finally, I decided to email.
If it's meant to be, then I need to accept and move on too.
Honestly, I do feel heavy-hearted but I know there are things in life that shouldn't and can't be forced.
I guess this is part of growing up. 
*******************************************************

She wrote back
On Thu, Mar 21, 2019, 8:41 PM 
One random day, all these struck into my mind and i just feeling let go. Whatever it is, let go. I not going to doubt myself bcoz of the label given, its not my job to always make sure people are happy with me and i just want to move on from these silent drama. I actually feel relieved after I ‘let go’.
Therefore if you still feel:-
i am rude...so be it...
I am selfish....so be it...
I am a dictator....so be it...
My thought / care is fake...so be it...
I am very firm decision person...so be it...
I make everyone to follow wat i want with my ‘philosophy’....so be it...
I am a toxic person...so be it....
I not going to explain because it will still end up in your eyes that i am trying to win with my philosophy.
Hun, if you realised, every thing I do & say have become negative in your eyes & heart. Since I am a negative person now &  so easily trigger your anger like 1,2,3...i am serious..do what we been telling you, kick out toxic & negativity from your life.
Yes we have happy & memorable past but same with me here, I don’t want these drama again in my life. I let go. I don’t want hold it anymore. Whatever it is, I let go.
Kudos to you for making the initiative in bringing up this issue as the immature me plan to just silent about it shall its not brought up.
Last but not least, thanks for your effort and keep up the courage & confidence in yourself.
Bye Hun.
*******************************************************

My reply on
Mar 21, 2019, 10:43 PM
At first I thought a reply wasn't necessary but I fear that you might misunderstand my unresponsiveness.
For old time sake,  I shouldn't mind to take the time to assure you that all is good.
We are grown ups.
🙂 It's time to let go and move on. 
Bye Mn
*******************************************************

I just had to be sentimental writer ,
Jun 10, 2019, 7:45 PM
Hi Moon,
I have been thinking a lot about writing to you but kept delaying, as
I thought it’s best to leave things as it is, so why bother to ‘kacau’ right?
The ONE reason that prompts me to finally start typing is that I really want you to know that there is NO hard feelings from my side.
I don’t have any expectation from this email, I don’t even dare to hope for a reply, but I really need you to know that I don’t bear any ill feelings towards you.
Maybe you wonder why this is important for me?
Maybe aging? Or that I’m the type who think too much. I just need to make sure that the ending of ‘our story’, u know like the last chapter in a book – I hope that the last few sentences in the chapter are good positive ones.
I really hope that you’d believe me when I say I carry A LOT of good and sweet memories of our relationship. Really a lot of examples, but I fear the email would be too long if I typed them.
Eg, the birthday card you and Mina gave me is in the baby’s bed (right in front of me as I type this). We use the music for the baby to calm down when she cries. Also, do you remember the necklace you helped ‘fix’ for me? I told you how disappointed I was with the online purchase so you took it home overnight and made it much nicer. This was the first year we met in Segi.
I was cleaning up my old drawer yesterday and saw the necklace and immediately recalled all this memory. I really smiled to myself recalling it.
Yes, this is very old history.
I think MUCH MORE of our good experiences etc, than our little friction that ended it all.
I hope you’d believe my sincerity of this email, I must emphasize that I carry no expectation from your side.
Ah… maybe forgiveness.
If you do forgive me, or perhaps already have, as you previously mentioned, if you have ‘let go it all’ in a positive manner, then I thank you.

If we do accidentally bump into each other in the street, I hope you won’t turn away or pretend not to know me.
We don’t have to talk to each other, but I hope we can at least smile and nod at each other.
Yes, this is the summary of my intention. I hope we at least smile and nod at each other.
*******************************************************

removing this from my address book was SUCH a relief.