I had a FB push notification about ShW's latest profile photo.
She's in her wedding dress ???!!!???
The last time we met was in July.
She didn't even mention that she was seeing someone.
We spoke on the phone in August, and that was it.

I didn't make any attempt to contact her, nor she I.
I've not been in a good shape for the past couple of months, so I thought it's best to just let the sleeping dogs lie.

This sudden news reminded me of my other comrade friend (also suffering from mental illness) who also got married very abruptly.
Both of them share another disturbing similarity, absence of their family's blessing and cloud of lies.

As I was about to get really judgemental of their choices, I realised something.
I did something similar too.
I too, had desperately wanted change for myself, where I had packed and left for Penang, a choice which I live to regret till now.

Upon some self-reflection and reverie, I began to take their point of view on this matter.
I wish ShW all the best.
__________________________________________________________________

On a different note,
Only now, I realised that the period 2010-2014 was the best period of my life, since having this illness.
Funny, I honestly didn't realised that back then.
Back in 2010 - 2014, I thought I needed to make a change for myself, as I was unhappy.
But now, every now and then FB will send reminders of old posts in my page and I will look at it with deep sadness and regret.
"I was happy and I actually didn't realised it".
"I wasn't contented, and I never realised that the shit could be worse, as they are now".

I guess everything happens for a reason.
Even shit.