I have mental illness. Mind clarity is rare, too briefly and often too late. Old friends and acquaintances would look away when they see me. Yup, that unpopular. Of course, I get angry and hurt but deep down, I know I’d do the same too, if I saw 'me'. That’s the icy cold papercut truth. The illness cuts even deeper. I thank you for your readership. Your presence here makes me feel less alone. This blog helps me remember my true worth as a person, and how my own mind threatens it.
Friday, September 30, 2011
Thursday, September 29, 2011
- The Memory Keeper’s Daughter, Kim Edwards
The Poisonwood Bible, Barbara Kingsolver
I really like this article from TheStar Newspaper as there were many quotes that resonates within me.
“I didn’t like classical music when I was young, but now I find it the most beautiful kind of music because it harmonises one’s emotions,” he says,
“Life is never a straight path. But even when you are down, you must not give up. You must struggle to overcome. I believe there is always a way and I also believe that any man can be a useful person,” he says. The tricky bit is finding out what you are good in and trying to develop it.
“Of course, people are born with different levels of intelligence, but I think everybody is given a few opportunities in his life. And when an opportunity comes along, you must recognise it as one and grab it.”
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
The newcomer lady sitting in front asked,
"Erm, are all the people here... er... are they...?"
I presumptiously answered, "We don't look like it, right?"
The other person on my right was more attentive.
"You want to know if all of us are from the Depression Support Group, right? The answer is Yes"
Sunday, September 18, 2011
LK
I'm sorry that I had to end our tele-chat abruptly.
After more than an hour plus, I just couldn't listen anymore.
We met at the most unusual circumstances, we knew each other's darkest side even before we introduced ourselves.
That was 7 years ago.
7 years of friendship is hard to come by, more so for people like us.
LK, we are not healthy people.
It's a painful fact to swallow but admitting it is the first foremost important step to recovery and maintaining a decently functional life.
Until and Unless we accept and face this cruel fate, we will always be a burden to our family ,society and of course to ourselves.
I don't want to sound preachy here but I cried when I hung up.
Your condition has worsened.
You were better when we first became friends.
But you have slowly deteriorated since then.
You did make some progress with that Advertising company in Kelana Jaya, but that was it, wasn't it?
I know it's a harsh comment but I need you to know how precarious your current situation is.
On the phone, I reminded you of my own dark episodes.
You were there.
Remember how it was like listening to me?
You're doing it now.
And you have been doing it for years, sporadically.
I tolerated them, because well, you tolerated me.
My ex-colleague texted these very words to me years back when I was unwell.
"You seriously need help. Don't contact us anymore."
It still stings till today but it was a justified statement.
And now I'm saying this to you.
"Please get help. There's no shame in it. You can be better. You can do better.
And you can ALWAYS contact me. "
Tonight, I weep for both of us... and the many out there..
Thursday, September 15, 2011
Wednesday, September 14, 2011
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
The fireflies were few but just as mesmerizing.
It was so quiet.
My first time being so intimate with Nature.
I whispered to my friend, "This is ideal for meditating."
She nodded.
Everything was so still.
Peaceful.
So overwhelming that I felt out of place.
I could feel the pollutants of my troubles.
A very humbling experience indeed.
Friday, September 09, 2011
Wednesday, September 07, 2011
Monday, September 05, 2011
Saturday, September 03, 2011
Source: eatherright.tumblr.com
Friday, September 02, 2011
Thank God there's HOUSE to bring meaning to my life.
I tried 'communicating' my thoughts to a friend.
I ended up almost losing her entirely.
A Lesson that needs constant reminder.