“Forgiving does not erase the bitter past. A healed memory is not a deleted memory. Instead, forgiving what we cannot forget creates a new way to remember. We change the memory of our past into a hope for our future.”

- Lewis Benedictus Smedes

Harper’s Bazaar Man, Oct 2010, Dr Farish Noor’s interview,

“…in Kashmir, after the earthquake of 2005, I met an old woman in her smashed-up ruins of a house, crying as she was cooking. She was crying because that morning her eldest son died in a freak motorcycle accident. His head was crushed by a lorry and we could not identify the body. The woman was crying but she still had to cook for her other children; life had to go on, despite the earthquake that destroyed her home and ruined their lives. That taught me the power of the human spirit and of its capacity to cope with tragedy. Till today, I think of this woman and how much more she has suffered. That usually shuts me up and tells me to just endure and get on with things.”

Jiaozhou Bay Bridge, World's Longest Cross-Sea Bridge. Photo courtesy of AP

From a forwarded email.....
This is amazing, he died of pancreatic cancer in 2008, but wrote a book The Last Lecture before then, one of the bestsellers in 2007.

In a letter to his wife Jai and his children, Dylan, Logan , and Chloe, he wrote this beautiful "guide to a better life" for his wife and children to follow.

POINTS ON HOW TO IMPROVE YOUR LIFE
Personality:
1. Don't compare your life to others'. You have no idea what their journey is all about.
2. Don't have negative thoughts of things you cannot control. Instead invest your energy in the positive present moment
3. Don't overdo; keep your limits
4. Don't take yourself so seriously; no one else does
5. Don't waste your precious energy on gossip
6. Dream more while you are awake
7. Envy is a waste of time. You already have all you need..
8. Forget issues of the past. Don't remind your partner of his/ her mistakes of the past. That will ruin your present happiness.
9. Life is too short to waste time hating anyone. Don't hate others.
10. Make peace with your past so it won't spoil the present
11. No one is in charge of your happiness except you
12. Realize that life is a school and you are here to learn. Problems are simply part of the curriculum that appear and fade away like algebra class but the lessons you learn will last a lifetime.
13. Smile and laugh more
14. You don't have to win every argument. Agree to disagree.

Community:
15. Call your family often
16. Each day give something good to others
17. Forgive everyone for everything
18. Spend time with people over the age of 70 & under the age of 6
19. Try to make at least three people smile each day
20. What other people think of you is none of your business
21. Your job will not take care of you when you are sick. Your family and friends will. Stay in touch.

Life:
22. Put GOD first in anything and everything that you think, say and do.
23. GOD heals everything
24. Do the right things
25. However good or bad a situation is, it will change
26. No matter how you feel, get up, dress up and show up
27. The best is yet to come
28. Get rid of anything that isn't useful, beautiful or joyful
29. When you awake alive in the morning, thank GOD for it
30. If you know GOD, you will always be happy. So, be happy.

Corey, I Never Knew I Had A Choice, pg 354

Unlike loneliness, solitude is something that we choose for ourselves. In solitude, we make time to be ourselves, to discover who we are, and to renew ourselves. In her beautiful poetic book Gift From the Sea, Lindbergh describes her own need to get away by herself to find her center, to simplify her life, and to nourish herself so that she could give to others again.

Taken in my good mood ages ago and had forgotten about them until recently.

got all these from stumbleupon.

Unusual decision

I have been shying away from meeting friends for a very long time.

Two nights ago, when a (J) friend invited me for dinner, I instinctively wanted to turn her down.
Both of us were unable to leave the workplace due to BERSIH roadblock.
But something inside me urged me to 'go'.
I thought, "Hey, you want to make some changes in your life, right? Why don't you start by being more sociable?"

So, off I went.
I was very nervous.
She was my old primary schoolmate.
Surely she's curious how I've been.
She made a few polite enquiries, and didn't pursue further.
I was relieved.
I didn't want to lie to her, but I don't want to steer our conversation to my depressing life .

We then, began to talk about a lecturer whom both of us knew.
J revealed a shocking news.
That sweet lady whom I had a few contacts with, was actually suffering from mental illness.
I listened in horror (gasping several times) as J recounted several incidents that had occurred in the faculty.
I felt very sorry for the lecturer.
J told me that only one person, a professor had the courage to do to right thing.

The professor told her (the lecturer) to her face that she needs to see a doctor urgently.
I was very impressed when I heard it.
Obviously it was a uncomfortable situation to give unsolicited advice, but it was necessary.

All of us would take the easy way and just avoid the person/problem.
Who would genuinely care and have the courage to do the right thing?
I'm glad to hear that out of the entire staff, there was ONE lady who did.

I don't know how the lecturer is currently doing as she has already left her employment.
But I hope she knows that there are still people who genuinely cares for her and hopes for her recovery.

I'm glad I made the unusual decision of having dinner with J.
I need to make more changes in my decisions.

More from the Q&A ,

"Seeing happy people can be scary sometimes for me.
I remember being very panicky and overly anxious just before entering the exam hall,years ago.
But the students around me were joking and laughing.
It was a very scary situation for me because I was wondering, why am I not feeling like them at all? instead, I felt as if I was going to the slaughterhouse.
Seeing how other people celebrate their lives is very scary for me.
I must be clear here to emphasize that the feeling is NOT envy.
I feel scared because I can't feel the same joy that they're feeling.
The sight of happy people constantly reminds me that I'm not normal (or in the medical term, not healthy)."